i sexted a different girl while in LDR

[Nathan32]

Ok so me and ldr girlfriend have been together for probably 7-8 months. Now i suffer from extreme depression amd suicidal thoughts, but when i talk to her i always felt better. And so one day we just ended up wanting to be more and ever looked back. But its har, we are so far away and she is a super shy girl, we are the same age, but its been like 8 months and we never really sext or did anything sexual. I love her, theres no doubt in my mind that i love her.

But i knew this other girl, from australia when i lived there, and kne day she was like out of the blue telling me she was touching herself and things escalated from there. I feel so incredibly guilty to the point i almost want to cry. My amazing erfect girlfriend was only ever there for me and wanted the best for me and loved me through all my floors snd i start sexting some other girl. It might not seem like a big deal to you but to me it is. I feel like if i was to tell her she would be destroyed she wouldnt tell me that she is but she woild be. What do i do? How do i stop this feeling that i have?

[GeneralSkrubz]

Bud, you don't stop this feeling your having. You are completely at fault. You shouldn't have even THOUGHT about sexting another girl, no matter how long you've been in a relationship with a girl who is too scared to sext you. You can't blame any depression or sadness on this man. You cheated on her. Come clean before she finds out, trust me.

[Nathan32]

Bud, you don't stop this feeling your having. You are completely at fault. You shouldn't have even THOUGHT about sexting another girl, no matter how long you've been in a relationship with a girl who is too scared to sext you. You can't blame any depression or sadness on this man. You cheated on her. Come clean before she finds out, trust me.

I know what i did was wrong, but i cant bring myself to tell her im wondering if i just delete everything social media wise including skype and forget about this whole thing. I dont like this feeling but i know for a fact id feel even worse if i told her she would be so upset that i talked to a different girl over something so trivial

[GeneralSkrubz]

I know what i did was wrong, but i cant bring myself to tell her im wondering if i just delete everything social media wise including skype and forget about this whole thing. I dont like this feeling but i know for a fact id feel even worse if i told her she would be so upset that i talked to a different girl over something so trivial
Sex is NOT trivial. Sex is a binding and soulful experience, and you did that with another woman man. Imagine if she had sex with another guy? How would you feel? You will only feel guilty as long as you don't tell her, and deleting everything is lying to her as well. So would you rather just be a cheater, or a liar, and a cheater? Sorry if I seem harsh, but cheating is a big NO on my list. I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years up until recently, and NOT ONCE, did I think about cheating.

[Nathan32]

Sex is NOT trivial. Sex is a binding and soulful experience, and you did that with another woman man. Imagine if she had sex with another guy? How would you feel? You will only feel guilty as long as you don't tell her, and deleting everything is lying to her as well. So would you rather just be a cheater, or a liar, and a cheater? Sorry if I seem harsh, but cheating is a big NO on my list. I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years up until recently, and NOT ONCE, did I think about cheating.

I wouldnt care if she cheated i want her to be happy regardless im not a jealous type and it wouldnt phaze me. Sex isnt a trivial thing - sexting is alot different from real sex. Im already a liar, if i confront her it would just hurt even more. I didnt think about cheating i would never have done it had the other girl not hmu i hadnt done anything with anyone in forever. Its not excuse there is no excuse. Idk. I havnt even talked to anyone today because i feel so disgusted with myself. I almost want to pull my stitches out and bleed out just because i deserve it. I cant deal with these kinds of emotions

[GeneralSkrubz]

I wouldnt care if she cheated i want her to be happy regardless im not a jealous type and it wouldnt phaze me. Sex isnt a trivial thing - sexting is alot different from real sex. Im already a liar, if i confront her it would just hurt even more. I didnt think about cheating i would never have done it had the other girl not hmu i hadnt done anything with anyone in forever. Its not excuse there is no excuse. Idk. I havnt even talked to anyone today because i feel so disgusted with myself. I almost want to pull my stitches out and bleed out just because i deserve it. I cant deal with these kinds of emotions
Sexting and sex arent different man, the out comes are the same, sexually pleasure. Its just that one is written, and the other one is physical. And do you know, HOW many girls, in that 3 year relationship tried to get me to have sex with them, In Real Life? You just failed to aviod your hormones, and here you are. Just, breath, take a day, but you have to tell her.

[Nathan32]

Sexting and sex arent different man, the out comes are the same, sexually pleasure. Its just that one is written, and the other one is physical. And do you know, HOW many girls, in that 3 year relationship tried to get me to have sex with them, In Real Life? You just failed to aviod your hormones, and here you are. Just, breath, take a day, but you have to tell her.

We cant all have your level of commitment dude. Props for keeping true to your girl but im not like you. I dont have to tell her, and i dont think i will. Ill just break it off, so she can keep her trust in people intact, it will take a few days but she will get over me, and move on to a guy that deserves her ad wont make the same mistakes as i made. Meanwhile ill live with the guilt knowing i fucked the best relationship ive had, even over my irl ones. She doesnt need to be that hurt, telling her will hurt her and if thats the case i dony want to get rid of the guilt. Im just a bad person in general anyways makes sense im not faithful

[GeneralSkrubz]

We cant all have your level of commitment dude. Props for keeping true to your girl but im not like you. I dont have to tell her, and i dont think i will. Ill just break it off, so she can keep her trust in people intact, it will take a few days but she will get over me, and move on to a guy that deserves her ad wont make the same mistakes as i made. Meanwhile ill live with the guilt knowing i fucked the best relationship ive had, even over my irl ones. She doesnt need to be that hurt, telling her will hurt her and if thats the case i dony want to get rid of the guilt. Im just a bad person in general anyways makes sense im not faithful
Thats.. noble of you. Only break her softly... and even though I kept true to her, she didn't keep true to me, so you know. 3 years down the drain... Just. think next time, anyone you are with could be the one. Good luck man -pats you on the back-

[lliam]

the blame is on you, mate.

but imo you also overacting it. calm down and don't be such a drama-queen.

speak with your gf about it, if it's really that important to you.

[Nathan32]

Thats.. noble of you. Only break her softly... and even though I kept true to her, she didn't keep true to me, so you know. 3 years down the drain... Just. think next time, anyone you are with could be the one. Good luck man -pats you on the back-

Im sorry she hurt you like that man. I guess youre a pretty sensitive type guy, and yeah ill try to only break her a little, god knows what this will do to me 4 months sober is going to be down the train, i deserve it, it was her that eagered me into becoming sober in the first place, i probably dont deserve that gift she gave me. Whyd she cheat on you? Did she ever say?

the blame is on you, mate.

but imo you also overacting it. calm down and don't be such a drama-queen.

speak with your gf about it, if it's really that important to you.

Yeah i was being super dramatic had a super sleepless night because it was pestering me. Its not as if we are 2 random kids playing with what we think is love. I know how much she means to me, thats why it fucks me up so bad, but at the time i just didnt think. My owm fault.

Posts merged. Please use the "multi quote" button next time. ~City Kid

[lliam]

Nathan32 .... hopefully you can sleep better soon. good luck. ^^


btw: life is a rollercoaster

http://www.guy-sports.com/fun_pictures/stairlift.gif

[GeneralSkrubz]

Im sorry she hurt you like that man. I guess youre a pretty sensitive type guy, and yeah ill try to only break her a little, god knows what this will do to me 4 months sober is going to be down the train, i deserve it, it was her that eagered me into becoming sober in the first place, i probably dont deserve that gift she gave me. Whyd she cheat on you? Did she ever say?
The "distance was too far" is the excuse she gave. Im sorta done with dating right now lmao, give it a bit

[Nathan32]

The "distance was too far" is the excuse she gave. Im sorta done with dating right now lmao, give it a bit

Were you two really young? Because i mean no distance is too far you coulda easily made money and spent some time together, i was actually in the middle of making money to go see her, shes super stressed rn because she doesnt know if shes getting into any unis

[jamie_n5]

Well I think you should forgive yourself. Then you can carry on and things will be fine.
Why don't you ask your girlfriend if she is open to sexting?

[Nathan32]

Well I think you should forgive yourself. Then you can carry on and things will be fine.
Why don't you ask your girlfriend if she is open to sexting?

I really like your answer, alot of people telling me how shit of a person I am and how what I did was super wrong I know that and thats why I feel so horrid about it, small steps from here I guess, we already kinda sext on the DL not super descriptive but we are both pretty shy with eachother I guess, it's hard to be like super sexual around her whereas with the other girl it was super easy because it was only sexting she meant nothing to me yknow.

[Leprous]

I know what i did was wrong, but i cant bring myself to tell her im wondering if i just delete everything social media wise including skype and forget about this whole thing. I dont like this feeling but i know for a fact id feel even worse if i told her she would be so upset that i talked to a different girl over something so trivial

If you delete everything the girl will be worried and might think you died. DO NOT DO THIS. It is a VERY bad idea. It will hurt her allot and well, you don't know what will happen.

If you want to sext with your current girlfriend though, don't force it. No means no and you should always respect that.

Honestly I don't see sex in a relationship as something you need. Yeah it might be fun and all that but shouldn't the fact you two love eachother be the priority here?

Don't bring yourself down over this though, it happened and it should not happen again. While I am against hiding this from her I'm not sure if would be a good idea either. It will hurt her allot.

[Nathan32]

If you delete everything the girl will be worried and might think you died. DO NOT DO THIS. It is a VERY bad idea. It will hurt her allot and well, you don't know what will happen.

If you want to sext with your current girlfriend though, don't force it. No means no and you should always respect that.

Honestly I don't see sex in a relationship as something you need. Yeah it might be fun and all that but shouldn't the fact you two love eachother be the priority here?

Don't bring yourself down over this though, it happened and it should not happen again. While I am against hiding this from her I'm not sure if would be a good idea either. It will hurt her allot.

I would never force her into anything, i brang it up and she was fine with it she just said she wants it to come up naturally, and that was a few weeks ago, ive never tried to do things she never wanted to do. I didnt actively seek it out, and i turned down a few advances but this one girl caught me at an off time, i have learnt from this, and i will never do it again. Btw you like slipknot?

[Leprous]

I would never force her into anything, i brang it up and she was fine with it she just said she wants it to come up naturally, and that was a few weeks ago, ive never tried to do things she never wanted to do. I didnt actively seek it out, and i turned down a few advances but this one girl caught me at an off time, i have learnt from this, and i will never do it again. Btw you like slipknot?

Well, then give her time and let her grow more open towards you about it. And yes I like Slipknot (obviously).

[Nathan32]

Well, then give her time and let her grow more open towards you about it. And yes I like Slipknot (obviously).

Well its the internet, having a picture about it in your sig doesnt really mean much nowdays xD i was listening to spit it out earlier, and duality. And yeah idk if she ever will and im fine with it i probably wont live long enough to care.

[Leprous]

Well its the internet, having a picture about it in your sig doesnt really mean much nowdays xD i was listening to spit it out earlier, and duality. And yeah idk if she ever will and im fine with it i probably wont live long enough to care.

Well you shouldn't think like that. You said she made you happy and that you love her, so you have something worth living for.

[Nathan32]

Well you shouldn't think like that. You said she made you happy and that you love her, so you have something worth living for.

Dunno bro, dunno. Im pretty broken. Thanks for the help though, means alot.

[Leprous]

Dunno bro, dunno. Im pretty broken. Thanks for the help though, means alot.

Look, it happened, no way to change the past. Don't bring yourself down because of what happened.

[Tesserax]

Bro, you were tempted and made a mistake, it's fine. Don't need to tell her in my opinion, but you've acknowledged your mistake which is good enough so long as you do not do it again.

You cannot fix the past, focus on the future. Build your relationship with your girl, and make sure you don't fall for temptation again

[Nathan32]

Bro, you were tempted and made a mistake, it's fine. Don't need to tell her in my opinion, but you've acknowledged your mistake which is good enough so long as you do not do it again.

You cannot fix the past, focus on the future. Build your relationship with your girl, and make sure you don't fall for temptation again

Damn, that made me feel alot better, tbh not long ago i pricked an artery and had to get stitches, and i was super nervous and she jusy idk she took my mind off it my girl would have but she had been up for ages so i told her to sleep. I already told the other girl its never happening again and that we arent a thing so. Im good. Got my stitches out earlier today feels so much better. Thanks for all the help everyone

[Jane Eyre]

well, I guess you need a therapist or a psychiatrist more than a gf. Have you tried talking to anyone about your depression? or tried seeking out help? I mean, the problem is not with the girl, the other girl or you. its with your mind and your emotions, which is not something to be neglected.
you see, firstly you seem to be suffering from acute depression, which is really, really serious in your case. Cutting an artery? you seem to have forgotten that we get a life only once and we don't really have the right to kill ourselves, no matter what circumstances are. so basically, your depression has got into your relationship and more than you, its killing the whole thing. it might not be apparent but it is. and you cheated on her probably because you felt unappreciated by her or you felt something was missing. its not the girl's fault, you see, its only your mind making you believe that. and if you can't tell her the truth, you will suffer more than anything from the guilt.
so I'd suggest that you first seek out help for your mental instability and don't tell her anything now, coz it's only gonna end up in disaster. after you get rid of the thing, just muster up the courage and tell her everything. EVERYTHING. dude, you cheated on her so she will obviously be hurt, you can't help that. and there's nothing like "break her softly". speak the truth and be a man. if you two are meant to be together, you will be together. no matter what. but never ever lie to a girl. it hurts like hell.

[Tesserax]

Yo, just chill out. Seriously, you made a mistake, and it cannot be reversed. Make up for it by focusing on the future and NOT MAKING THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN! Just make sure that you show your love and loyalty to your girlfriend with even greater strength now. Mistakes cannot be undone, but atonement does not equate to confession. Some things are best kept secrets, and you can still make up for it by being a better boyfriend in the future