Is this cheating?

[Just JT]

I'm just wondering something. So I'd say most guys have masterbated with friends regardless of their sexuality right? Soo if I did the same with a friend, and I'm in a relationship with a guy (my boyfriend) is that considered cheating? And if not, at what point does it become cheating?

[Vermilion]

As long as it's only jo together and no touching it's ok I guess. If your doing it for each other then it's kinda cheating

[ThUnDeR]

Honestly I think it depends on the bounds of your relationship with your boyfriend. If he would do the same or if you guys previously talked about it then it wouldn't be a problem.

However, it could definitely be called cheating if your boyfriends isn't cool with things like that. Every relationship is different and it's hard to say whether it's cheating or not without knowing the extent of your relationship with your boyfriend.

I wouldn't stress about it, but I would be a little more careful next time, especially if you don't think your boyfriend would be okay with it.

[ashdyn]

That's pretty tricky lol if my gf did that with a girl I really don't think I'd be mad at all. Actually I'd think it was kinda hot lol for me I think I'd actually be more mad about kissing.

[Cadanance00]

I think cheating has a lot more to do with intent than what actually happened. Of course there are limits. If my girlfriend went to a party and had sex with another guy, I'd call that cheating. If she sat on the couch and made out with an old friend, I'd say that wasn't.

[jamie_n5]

I wouldn't mind or think so unless you got very sexual or ate her out or something.

[Just JT]

Yeah I'm pretty sure Sam is ok with it I mean we've done it and I know he's done it with friends to. But I don't know if he's done it with friends sinse we've been together. Maybe it does depend on our relationship but also the friend I did it with. He's straight and we were just horny and stuff. I mean he's pretty good looking and I do kinda just over him in a way, but we'd never be together like that cause he's not into guys. But I also know he liked doing it. It was like a cool bonding thing obviously, just don't know how all my true feelings really are about what we did. I mean I love Sam, and I know my friends would never do stuff like me and Sam do, but still.....there's is that attraction....

[DoodleSnap]

That's for you and your significant other to decide. You have to set the boundaries in your relationship by talking to each other.

[Bull]

there are times I have to remind myself that it is ok to look but not ok to touch. I am attracted to this girl I know but I am not going to act on it because my relationship with my boyfriend is important to me, so I just enjoy the view but don't become part of the scenery.

[Just JT]

But if I'm doing that with another guy, it is sexual, and it is together, so isn't that kinda like putting myself into the scenery?
I get what Calem is saying, and makes sense to, should be talked about to....

[rioo]

I would say if someone you loved getting aroused with someone else by doing sexual contact it's considered cheating.

[PaleBoy]

One easy way of dingind out: would your SO approve of what you are doing? If not, you are probably cheating.

[Just JT]

rioo so Is masturbating with a friend considered sexual contact?
PaleBoy, idk, I kinda think he would, but also kinda feel guilt to. I mean there was a time when he knew I'd be with some old friends I don't see very often, they went on vacation with me. And we always fooled around, he knew it and was ok with it cause he knew it wasn't what him and me have. But he also knew before hand to so....

[PaleBoy]

rioo so Is masturbating with a friend considered sexual contact?
PaleBoy, idk, I kinda think he would, but also kinda feel guilt to. I mean there was a time when he knew I'd be with some old friends I don't see very often, they went on vacation with me. And we always fooled around, he knew it and was ok with it cause he knew it wasn't what him and me have. But he also knew before hand to so....

Then i guess not.

[Devinsoccer]

I'm just wondering something. So I'd say most guys have masterbated with friends regardless of their sexuality right? Soo if I did the same with a friend, and I'm in a relationship with a guy (my boyfriend) is that considered cheating? And if not, at what point does it become cheating?

I wouldn't say it's cheeting. You were probably just curious. I think it would be cheating if you hand/blow the other guy, or did other things... I'm not gay, so I honestly don't know whats cheating and whats not...

[Uranus]

That's pretty tricky lol if my gf did that with a girl I really don't think I'd be mad at all. Actually I'd think it was kinda hot lol for me I think I'd actually be more mad about kissing.

Well being a guy you would enjoy that sight ;)

[everlong]

I think I'd consider it cheating. Overall, it's more about how you and your boyfriend feel about what is and isn't cheating. Establish boundaries.

[rioo]

Well, basically you are both in the same room and getting aroused with seeing each others masturbating until all of you climax/cum. It's mentality wrong that you should not share your feeling with others. In relationship it's mean you have boundary. That's why there is 'open relationship' and 'closed' or you only share with ur partner.

[Flapjack]

Depends on how chill your partner is tbh. I know people that wouldn't care unless you had sex, others that wouldn't care if you had sex and more that would dump you and try to kill you for even suggesting it sooooo my post really is no help is it?xD

[SethfromMI]

I'm just wondering something. So I'd say most guys have masterbated with friends regardless of their sexuality right? Soo if I did the same with a friend, and I'm in a relationship with a guy (my boyfriend) is that considered cheating? And if not, at what point does it become cheating?

it is a gray area. some couples would consider it cheating and some wouldn't. those are the type of boundaries you have to establish with your partner

[Just JT]

Then i guess not.

I wasn't challenging your opinion, hope you didn't take it that way

I wouldn't say it's cheeting. You were probably just curious. I think it would be cheating if you hand/blow the other guy, or did other things... I'm not gay, so I honestly don't know whats cheating and whats not...

Yeah I'm pretty sure I'm past curiousity stage lol!! But also, not sure how sexual orientation makes a diff here tbh....

I think I'd consider it cheating. Overall, it's more about how you and your boyfriend feel about what is and isn't cheating. Establish boundaries.

I think I might agree but not sure. It's like yeah I get off and all, we both liked it, but that's something private between 2 people. But also, yeah it's not sexual between us so....
We have pretty good boundaries and all.....maybe me n him should talk about it huh?


Well, basically you are both in the same room and getting aroused with seeing each others masturbating until all of you climax/cum. It's mentality wrong that you should not share your feeling with others. In relationship it's mean you have boundary. That's why there is 'open relationship' and 'closed' or you only share with ur partner.

Is it wromg because we're both arroused and in the same room?
I mean yeah it's pretty much a turn on and all, but it's not like we have the emotional like attachment, and we didn't have any physical contact sexually. Although I probably like to, he's not into it, he's more into the straight porn we were watching so....



But all in all, thanks for all your replies, they were all really helpful. So I've beed feeling a bit guilty about doing this as me and Sam are pretty tight and stuff. He means so much to me and I feel like I violated that bond. Even though I may not have at all, depending on how he feels about it. So I guess the best thing for me to do it talk to him about it. Let him know what happened and stuff and see what he thinks. Maybe he's cool with everything.

Thanks!!

[kyrocks03]

Well with me and my former boyfriend, he and I never talked about this, but he told me 3 days ago that he and his cousin sucked each other off. I know this is different than jerking off together, but it ended our relationship. I got really jealous and mad at him and ended things with him. So I guess what I'm saying is that if you have discussed this and you both are alright with it, then it's fine, but I would definitely set boundaries ahead of time.

[Just JT]

We talked about it. And he's ok with it. There wasn't any physical contact, and there's no like emotional relationship like we have together. Yeah I'm kinda attracted to him, but he's straight and all so nothing would really ever happen. And being attracted to someone other than who your with is really kinda normal. Besides he's done it to, and it's just no big deal to him I guess. So me to lol!!

[Just JT]

Well with me and my former boyfriend, he and I never talked about this, but he told me 3 days ago that he and his cousin sucked each other off. I know this is different than jerking off together, but it ended our relationship. I got really jealous and mad at him and ended things with him. So I guess what I'm saying is that if you have discussed this and you both are alright with it, then it's fine, but I would definitely set boundaries ahead of time.

That happened when you were together or was it something that happened before?
How was it that he told you?
Seems weird he'd just kinda tell you that outa the blue, musta know. What you'd say or do about it right?

[pjones]

If my "friend" said he wanted to masturbate with someone else I'd be pissed at first, but then I'd feel secure that he had the honesty and comfort in our relationship that we could discuss it. And I'd be OK with him doing it because I know that is all he, or I, would do with someone else.