Age difference

[RJH98]

I had a barbeque at work last week and all my collegues were there. I took the train home with a girl that lives in a city that was on my route (the Hague). I've worked with her a couple of times before and I think she is very good looking, but I never looked much into her. All of the sudden she started flirting with me very very obviously. I don't think anyone has ever flirted with me that obvious and she even said that if I was ever in the neighborhood, going out or something, that I could stay with her at her place over night. We've been talking for a bit the past few days. Only thing: she is turning 22 tomorrow and I just turned 18. I don't know about this age difference. She is in a totally different stage of her life I think.

What do you think? Is 4 years a reasonable age difference?

-Robin

[Cognizant]

Age differences really don't become a problem after you become an adult, regardless if it's for a legitimate relationship or for sexual encounters (which I would presume is what she's after, given the sudden onset of flirting and inviting you over to her house - but you never know!).

My boyfriend is basically 2.2 years older than me, as he is 21 and I just turned 19 last month. It doesn't feel awkward and the only thing we can't *legally* do together is drink or smoke. We are in different stages of our life goals because he finished 2 years at college while I've barely started, but it doesn't exactly impede our ability to have a strong relationship - we both care for each other and support our aspirations.

On the sexual side, I've also hooked up with some 28 year olds before (and had a 24 year old dude who wanted to be my sugar daddy :P ), and honestly after you're 18 you are allowed to explore your interests without fear of getting in trouble or being judged.

If you're interested in the girl, go for it. It never hurts to try.

[ashdyn]

^^

So true. Once you're an adult age differences matter less and less. Strong long lasting relationships are built on way more than just age proximity. Sometime you need someone older in your life. If you're into her go for it. If not then it's just not meant to be. Don't rush to jump into anything tho...you barely know her. Get to know her and if you're both on the same page then age shouldn't be a factor at all

[Zachary G]

now that you are legally considered an adult, the age difference doesnt matter much, unless its just an issue for you. If you were under 18 I would say that there might be a small issue, depending on how far below 18 you were, but then theres the old double standard where a younger guy can get away with having sex with an older woman, but not an older guy with a younger girl. Its ultimately up to you and how you feel about it, but you are of age, so there shouldnt be any major issues to contend with.

[Cadanance00]

Dude! You're 18. You can do anything you want. If she's comfortable with it, go for it.

[SethfromMI]

I had a barbeque at work last week and all my collegues were there. I took the train home with a girl that lives in a city that was on my route (the Hague). I've worked with her a couple of times before and I think she is very good looking, but I never looked much into her. All of the sudden she started flirting with me very very obviously. I don't think anyone has ever flirted with me that obvious and she even said that if I was ever in the neighborhood, going out or something, that I could stay with her at her place over night. We've been talking for a bit the past few days. Only thing: she is turning 22 tomorrow and I just turned 18. I don't know about this age difference. She is in a totally different stage of her life I think.

What do you think? Is 4 years a reasonable age difference?

-Robin

18 and 22 is not a bad age difference at all. yes, she is at the point where a lot of people graduate from college, but so what. if you two enjoy being with each other (and it sounds like she really likes you and wants to be with you) then go for it. who knows where it may go. I would go for it if I were you :)

[Flapjack]

sounds good to me buddy! wish you luck:)

[Anonymous2002]

I had a barbeque at work last week and all my collegues were there. I took the train home with a girl that lives in a city that was on my route (the Hague). I've worked with her a couple of times before and I think she is very good looking, but I never looked much into her. All of the sudden she started flirting with me very very obviously. I don't think anyone has ever flirted with me that obvious and she even said that if I was ever in the neighborhood, going out or something, that I could stay with her at her place over night. We've been talking for a bit the past few days. Only thing: she is turning 22 tomorrow and I just turned 18. I don't know about this age difference. She is in a totally different stage of her life I think.

What do you think? Is 4 years a reasonable age difference?

-Robin

As long as your both 18 or over then your good :)

In Australia the laws are you can have sex
IF

You are 13 or over
You must be 24 months older or younger then the other
Anyone 18 or over can not have sex with someone below the age of 18


Honestly I know very few people who follow this, the furthest age distance I've had was 3 years, I've never dated anyone younger :/ It's less messy that way, the girls are normally favored for in cases like these because a guy dated someone younger it might be considered as some sort of rape but if the guy is younger they will not care or consider him as "lucky"

[RJH98]

As long as your both 18 or over then your good :)

In Australia the laws are you can have sex
IF

You are 13 or over
You must be 24 months older or younger then the other
Anyone 18 or over can not have sex with someone below the age of 18


Honestly I know very few people who follow this, the furthest age distance I've had was 3 years, I've never dated anyone younger :/ It's less messy that way, the girls are normally favored for in cases like these because a guy dated someone younger it might be considered as some sort of rape but if the guy is younger they will not care or consider him as "lucky"

This is interesting! In the Netherlands you can have sex at 16. If you are over 18 you can't have sex with a minor. What stuns me is the second one: being 24 months younger or older. I've only been with girls that were at most 10 months younger than me and three weeks older(with one exception, but the said she was 18 instead of 14... smh).

[RJH98]

Thanks for the replies guys. She told me she had a date last week and it went horrible. The guy she was meeting was 30. He got her drunk and then slept with her, even though she didn't really want to. She said she'd rather have a long lasting relationship instead of casual sex with different guys. I guess I am just going to see what happens...

[Cadanance00]

Thanks for the replies guys. She told me she had a date last week and it went horrible. The guy she was meeting was 30. He got her drunk and then slept with her, even though she didn't really want to. She said she'd rather have a long lasting relationship instead of casual sex with different guys. I guess I am just going to see what happens...

Just be good to her. She's had some bad experiences. This could be good for you both.

[SethfromMI]

Thanks for the replies guys. She told me she had a date last week and it went horrible. The guy she was meeting was 30. He got her drunk and then slept with her, even though she didn't really want to. She said she'd rather have a long lasting relationship instead of casual sex with different guys. I guess I am just going to see what happens...

sorry to hear about her but good for you man, might as well see where it may take the two of you.

[Barbara.]

I dont think that 4 years is that much of a difference.
Put the shoe on the other foot, if she was 4 years younger would you consider asking her out?

[Tesserax]

Age differences are normally the problem for the older partner, until it gets to a point where the age is starting to basically be doubled then it becomes a problem for the younger one.

But for your case it should be fine, and it's her call. She's older, and therefore more likely to be more mature and understanding than you, so if she thinks you're worth it and a good choice then that's her call. For you, you can probably safely say that she's going to be a good partner, at least assuming loyalty and everything, I simply mean in terms of maturity and stuff. She just has to worry about you being immature as you are considerably younger, so don't worry about her, worry about yourself and your own actions.

[Michelle98]

I've heard that the rule of thumb is if the girl is half the guy's age plus five years, then its ok. Anything less than that is kinda weird.

[rokyrok1]

If you like and love eachoder it's ok

[Kyle37]

You both are adults, so I wouldn't see the issue with 4 years of age difference.

[jamie_n5]

"Age differences really don't become a problem after you become an adult, regardless if it's for a legitimate relationship or for sexual encounters (which I would presume is what she's after, given the sudden onset of flirting and inviting you over to her house - but you never know!). "
I agree with Cognizant on this point. There are age differences both ways in many relationships and marriages. If it bothers you don't do it if it doesn't go for it. No one will look strangely about that small of an age difference.

[Devinsoccer]

I had a barbeque at work last week and all my collegues were there. I took the train home with a girl that lives in a city that was on my route (the Hague). I've worked with her a couple of times before and I think she is very good looking, but I never looked much into her. All of the sudden she started flirting with me very very obviously. I don't think anyone has ever flirted with me that obvious and she even said that if I was ever in the neighborhood, going out or something, that I could stay with her at her place over night. We've been talking for a bit the past few days. Only thing: she is turning 22 tomorrow and I just turned 18. I don't know about this age difference. She is in a totally different stage of her life I think.

What do you think? Is 4 years a reasonable age difference?

-Robin

Robin, your 18 and she is 22. It is a reasonable age difference. It would only be a problem if you or her were 14 and the other was 18. If you like her you can do whatever you want. If you don't like her like that, then tell her that you can be friends. Again, you live your life the way you want to, you choose what you want to do. I would consider 18 y/o going out with a 22 y/o is fine. She probably waited till you were 18 to act on her feelings. Have fun!

[Fussik]

I don't think the age difference is very important nowadays

[mutantboy]

I had a barbeque at work last week and all my collegues were there. I took the train home with a girl that lives in a city that was on my route (the Hague). I've worked with her a couple of times before and I think she is very good looking, but I never looked much into her. All of the sudden she started flirting with me very very obviously. I don't think anyone has ever flirted with me that obvious and she even said that if I was ever in the neighborhood, going out or something, that I could stay with her at her place over night. We've been talking for a bit the past few days. Only thing: she is turning 22 tomorrow and I just turned 18. I don't know about this age difference. She is in a totally different stage of her life I think.

What do you think? Is 4 years a reasonable age difference?

-Robin

It depend what you are looking for. I'm 16 and had a girlfriend of 23. But I knew she wouldn't have been the woman of my life. It has been just an experience. Sweet, nice, complete, but I knew it would have ended.

[indoxyl]

a four year age difference is nothing, kid.

but what do I know. my boyfriend is 15 years older than I am

[europalover]

I dont think that 4 years is that much of a difference.
Put the shoe on the other foot, if she was 4 years younger would you consider asking her out?

I think that Barb is right in that 4 years is not much of a difference, but anything above 8-10 years age difference might be very interesting for a brief fling, but eventually personal interests could become different over time (and be it only which kind of dance club to go to, or what crowd to hang out with). This might drive the couple apart, eventually.

[Atlantis]

I think that Barb is right in that 4 years is not much of a difference, but anything above 8-10 years age difference might be very interesting for a brief fling, but eventually personal interests could become different over time (and be it only which kind of dance club to go to, or what crowd to hang out with). This might drive the couple apart, eventually.

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