mellomace
February 16th, 2014, 05:59 PM
So I sat in my classroom. Left over from me sat a classmate , have not spoken to her or intended it to do, it was pure coincidence that she was sitting there . Then I got totally lost at some point in my thoughts and was fully absent, which happens to unfortunately often to me. Then I 'came' back from daydreaming, and actually realized where I was looking the whole time. I have noticed that I had almost seen all the time on the legs of the girl :/, but don't mistake me, it wasn't my intention (by the way, she was just wearing jeans, no skirt or something like that). Then I looked up at her and I saw that she already looked at me , but fairly neutral , with an almost emotionless stare, but only for a fairly short time. Since then I wonder why she looked at me ? I 'm a little afraid that she might think I'm a perv or stuff like that. Previously, she had never looked at me also practical and we never talked.
A few days later I happened to be sitting next to her , and noticing her looking at me again, without no visible reason. And I bother my head about why she looked at me then. After the summer holidays she was no longer in my class, we still cross paths in school from time to time, but as before, we never talk to eachother. We're actually mostly still strangers to eachother. This "looking at me without a visible reason" ever since only happened two times again, once when I talked to another girl, I noticed her from far away clearly, well at least looking in my direction. :D
Because I constantly thought about her possible reasons looking at me, I managed to develop something like feelings for her. For a long time I could not stop thinking about her, ya know, the usual crush related stuff like butterflies in your stomach, etc. xD . It regressed, but sometimes I still think about her and the thing that remains is that I have to constantly keep looking for her and still trying to interpret what her glimpse really ment. And I really do not know what I can do about it. Yes, I already thought about talking to her, but shortly after all this started, I was too shy for that. I'm almost 18 now and when this whole thing started I only recently became 16.
So for almost 3 years this has been going on with 'her'. Assuredly, only from my side . I have no idea what I find so interesting about her that she just doesn't want to get out of my head. I know absolutely nothing about her, talked to her like 2 sentences. And this "conversation" was more than 2 years ago.
Also what made my a lil shy to talk to her is the other problem.
No idea what was wrong with me , but shortly after she came as new in my class (in the 10th grade) , I obviously noticed her, but had no further thoughts about her. I sent her like the other 3 new guys who came in my class a friend request on Facebook. The other 3 have accepted , but after like 5 weeks she hadn't done nothing, not even blocked me or something, the request was pending, and I don't know why but I bothered my head like stupid about it. It does not improve matters that my other classmates, whose friend request she also accepted, even if she never talk to them, told me, that she is rarely online. Whatever, I just canceled the request, but not only once, I repeated this for a few times. Sounds pretty stupid, and is also pretty stupid. So after the first cancelling, and after a time period of like 2 months I sent her another, to which she also never responded. And then after a few weeks another. I actually was not always aware that I had already sent her a request, I just forgot about it :D
So then came the summer vacation and as I already mentioned we weren't in the same class anymore. I noticed her again staring at me on one occasion. It also happened that when I was at my locker, she was standing next to me. I was talking to a friend and told him a joke she unexpectedly answered to that joke. But we didn't have any further conversation.
Couple months later (That was 2013) I would have theoretically had the opportunity to chat with, but I was again too shy. I was hanging out with a classmate in our free hour. We went to the cafeteria and then he met a friend of him, and my classmates friend sat on one table with "her". I was confident enough to aks her something, but she only nodded and we didn't had any further conversation.
Months after that it was close to the summer holidays, and I really just wanted to get over her, at any price. It was totally no matter to me how it would have turned out. Sadly I've never found the right moment to talk to her. So thought I'd just write her on FB, on which she still didn't add me. (If you got mutual friends, you still can write to someone, I guess). I wrote something like "Hi. even if we were in one class, to never got a chance to get to know eachother, so what's up? :)"
She never responded, but she saw the message, according to the 'seen' status on FB. At this point I should really get over her, but I can't.
And now I just don't know, what to do. There are still some months left to our finals, and I really want to forget about her and be able to concentrate on other things. I just don't know if it still makes sense to talk to her (But if, how do I do that? We aren't in one class, and she's like always hanging around with her friends or just other girls, so I don't know how to find the right moment and especially what to say to her) or should I just try to forget her (I'm already trying this for nearly 2 years)?
A few days later I happened to be sitting next to her , and noticing her looking at me again, without no visible reason. And I bother my head about why she looked at me then. After the summer holidays she was no longer in my class, we still cross paths in school from time to time, but as before, we never talk to eachother. We're actually mostly still strangers to eachother. This "looking at me without a visible reason" ever since only happened two times again, once when I talked to another girl, I noticed her from far away clearly, well at least looking in my direction. :D
Because I constantly thought about her possible reasons looking at me, I managed to develop something like feelings for her. For a long time I could not stop thinking about her, ya know, the usual crush related stuff like butterflies in your stomach, etc. xD . It regressed, but sometimes I still think about her and the thing that remains is that I have to constantly keep looking for her and still trying to interpret what her glimpse really ment. And I really do not know what I can do about it. Yes, I already thought about talking to her, but shortly after all this started, I was too shy for that. I'm almost 18 now and when this whole thing started I only recently became 16.
So for almost 3 years this has been going on with 'her'. Assuredly, only from my side . I have no idea what I find so interesting about her that she just doesn't want to get out of my head. I know absolutely nothing about her, talked to her like 2 sentences. And this "conversation" was more than 2 years ago.
Also what made my a lil shy to talk to her is the other problem.
No idea what was wrong with me , but shortly after she came as new in my class (in the 10th grade) , I obviously noticed her, but had no further thoughts about her. I sent her like the other 3 new guys who came in my class a friend request on Facebook. The other 3 have accepted , but after like 5 weeks she hadn't done nothing, not even blocked me or something, the request was pending, and I don't know why but I bothered my head like stupid about it. It does not improve matters that my other classmates, whose friend request she also accepted, even if she never talk to them, told me, that she is rarely online. Whatever, I just canceled the request, but not only once, I repeated this for a few times. Sounds pretty stupid, and is also pretty stupid. So after the first cancelling, and after a time period of like 2 months I sent her another, to which she also never responded. And then after a few weeks another. I actually was not always aware that I had already sent her a request, I just forgot about it :D
So then came the summer vacation and as I already mentioned we weren't in the same class anymore. I noticed her again staring at me on one occasion. It also happened that when I was at my locker, she was standing next to me. I was talking to a friend and told him a joke she unexpectedly answered to that joke. But we didn't have any further conversation.
Couple months later (That was 2013) I would have theoretically had the opportunity to chat with, but I was again too shy. I was hanging out with a classmate in our free hour. We went to the cafeteria and then he met a friend of him, and my classmates friend sat on one table with "her". I was confident enough to aks her something, but she only nodded and we didn't had any further conversation.
Months after that it was close to the summer holidays, and I really just wanted to get over her, at any price. It was totally no matter to me how it would have turned out. Sadly I've never found the right moment to talk to her. So thought I'd just write her on FB, on which she still didn't add me. (If you got mutual friends, you still can write to someone, I guess). I wrote something like "Hi. even if we were in one class, to never got a chance to get to know eachother, so what's up? :)"
She never responded, but she saw the message, according to the 'seen' status on FB. At this point I should really get over her, but I can't.
And now I just don't know, what to do. There are still some months left to our finals, and I really want to forget about her and be able to concentrate on other things. I just don't know if it still makes sense to talk to her (But if, how do I do that? We aren't in one class, and she's like always hanging around with her friends or just other girls, so I don't know how to find the right moment and especially what to say to her) or should I just try to forget her (I'm already trying this for nearly 2 years)?