Why I Don't Pursue Relationships

[ChromeCrow]

I identify at asexual and aromantic. I have no interest in sex, and I don't like overly romantic things. Because of this, I feel like it would be unfair to pursue or get into a relationship. My friends seem to have a hard time understanding why I don't pursue anything. When I have romantic interests in people, I'm able to dismiss the feels pretty quick and move on. I just tell myself my standards wouldn't be fair to the person. My relationship "standards" are as follows:

No sex (if there would be it's all on my terms)
No romantics (again on my terms)
But no open relationship so you can do that ^^^ with someone else (I am your one and only partner)
No touching too much (only on my terms)
You can't be clingy or needy, but I can be
You have to let me be independent when I want to be

Long term
No marrage
No kids (if I ever what kids, I will adopt. I will not give birth. I don't want to do that to my body, plus I don't want to bring another life into this world. If I adopt, it will be Deaf)

So as you can see ^^^ my terms are quite selfish. I described my ideal relationship as a "broship". We are best friends (bros), with some platonic hand holding and cuddling. So that is why I don't pursue relationships. It makes me a bit upset sometimes, but not too much.


Anyone experience similar feelings? BTW, I do have and attraction now to someone. I wonder if they have and attraction to me too (Because sometimes it seems like it) but if they do, then is not fair to trap them in such a dead end relationship

[Just JT]

I don't feel that same way. Well not entirely. I love sex, and having a relationship, but I'm not all into romance and stuff. Me, I can't say I can understand having no interest in sex, but that's me. I can understand that all people are different, so that said, you are who you are. I don't think it's bad or wrong, it's just who you are. It would be nice if I, as well as others, could understand better. It's like understanding gender identity better or something. Some people just don't attract or attach to people like other people.

As far as someone your attracted to, idk if it would be wrong or not. Depends on how the relationship is started. If your open and honest with who you are and what your interested in, limits and boundaries, and the both of you are ok with that, then what's the harm?

[Sasha M]

Your like a more extreme version of my ex. She was greatly annoyed by any language around sex, didn't have any lust at all, was interested in sex but it was far from a requirement. Wasn't too romantic but I don't think that was aromatic.
I'm going to be real, she was hard for me so I don't know about you.
I guess the only way IS to find someone that is fine with all of your terms, through the power of the Internet.

[ClaraWho]

Your post is entirely hypocritical from start to finish. My advice would be to try to understand your attachment and commitment issues, where they stem from. Might be worth putting some money towards therapy.

~ Clara

[ethan-s]

Are you trolling as my brother? He is literally just like that.