My goddamned dad...

[Skylark]

I know this is stereotypical, someone complaining about their dad, but this is really getting annoying. Essentially, my dad routinely goes out of his way to make everyone else in my family, including me, miserable. He'll start arguments on a whim over complete shit, plan "nice family activities" when he knows full well my mom or even I have work to do, and takes my phone at random times, sometimes without a reason, because he feels like it. Let me give you a very recent example. It was around 11:30 and my dad was telling me to go to bed. I said, "but i'm reading," which I was. He didn't say anything and went downstairs for 10 minutes, and when he came back up, I was still reading, so he said "I thought I told you to put the goddamned thing away and go to bed." I, in the calmest, quietest voice you could imagine, said "All right." And he FLIPPED HIS SHIT. "Don't talk to me like that, I'm your father." An argument ensued, me knowing full well it was just another power trip, and I told him so. He proceeded to tell me to kiss his ass, yanking my phone off the charger and storming downstairs, waking up my mom and brother in the process, all because he wanted to fuck me over. Does anyone have any ideas on how to mediate this stupid shit?

[Sailor Mars]

Meditate over it? Fuck that.

Honestly, there's no point in even thinking of the reasoning or the purpose behind his actions (as there is mostly likely none). Just accept it and move on and hope for the best (and for time to pass faster).

[Sasha M]

http://www.wikihow.com/Run-Away-From-Home

[WhoWhatWhen]

Maybe he has anger issues? Does he do this to everyone in your family or just you? Has he always been like this? Has he ever gotten violent?

[Skylark]

http://www.wikihow.com/Run-Away-From-Home

That actually made me lol! you win the interweb for today, you whippersnapper :yeah:

[Sasha M]

That actually made me lol! you win the interweb for today, you whippersnapper :yeah:

A whippersnapper who owns a whipper-snipper.

[Just JT]

I think your dads behavior boarder lines on abusive if it isn't actually abuse. I'd talk to another trusting adult about this if you wana try and resolve it

[Dalcourt]

Can't your mom do anything about it? I think she should try to mediate. Does he act like that around her and she just leaves him be or what?

Talking to him won't do any good so yeah if your mom won't take action you can only try to make the best out of this shitty situation.

[HANDsum]

I know this is stereotypical, someone complaining about their dad, but this is really getting annoying. Essentially, my dad routinely goes out of his way to make everyone else in my family, including me, miserable. He'll start arguments on a whim, over complete shit, plan "nice family activities" when he knows full well my mom or even I have work to do, and takes my phone at random times, sometimes without a reason, because he feels like it. Let me give you a very recent example. It was around 11:30 and my dad was telling me to go to bed. I said, "but i'm reading," which I was. He didn't say anything and went downstairs for 10 minutes, and when he came back up, I was still reading, so he said "I thought I told you to put the goddamned thing away and go to bed." I, in the calmest, quietest voice you could imagine, said "All right." And he FLIPPED HIS SHIT. "Don't talk to me like that, I'm your father." An argument ensued, me knowing full well it was just another power trip, and I told him so. He proceeded to tell me to kiss his ass, yanking my phone off the charger and storming downstairs, waking up my mom and brother in the process, all because he wanted to fuck me over. Does anyone have any ideas on how to mediate this stupid shit?

Sorry to read that mate. Sounds like my mum ( luckily my dads prety cool) got no advice for you just feeling your situation:( I just stay outta mums way when she gets that way. I love spending time alone in my room so its pretty easy to avoid her..... maybe make your room your sancutary bro!?!

[jamie_n5]

I feel for you and your family. Is your dad a drinker? Is he drunk when he goes off like that? Sounds like he needs professional help.

[Matryoshkasystem]

If possible, can you get family therapy? It WILL address power stuff like this.

[Just JT]

That actually made me lol! you win the interweb for today, you whippersnapper :yeah:
Skylark

I thin it's good you found some humor in all this, but in all seriousness, well yeah, that can be kinda funny, I guess, but, reality running away is really the last and worst option for you. Almost any other option is better. You ever run away before for any length of time? It sucks, you'll find yourself doing shit you'd never imagine doing. And there are no options.
Can't get a job, place to live, and reality, can't go to school, or see your friends, your outside all the time, all weather, no bathroom, no place to sleep, eventually no money. So then what?

There are plenty of people out there who have plenty of ideas of how to help. And they will hopefully do just that, get you cleaned up, some rest in a clean bed, feed you, maybe some clean clothes etc. but at what cost from you...

[Skylark]

justJT I'm not gonna run away man. Wherever I'd go, they'd probably just take me back home. That's the problem of your family living close and your friends living far. I usually spend most of my time at my grandparents at this point anyway. I'd say that's as close to running away as I'm ever gonna get :P

[Skylark]

If possible, can you get family therapy? It WILL address power stuff like this.

Heh I wish. My dad and mom shun therapists, and if it's something they agree on, it's the divine path by God. Not a chance in hell.

[Just JT]

Well I'm really happy to hear that. And I know a lota kids say that and don't really mean it, but also, never really know. So I say something, from experience, cause there's nothing any good out there for someone our age on our own. It's better to work through what ever it is at home. But also, you may not always get what you want either.

Also, think you mentioned me wrong, I'm Just JT with a space between Just and JT :)

[Skylark]

Also, think you mentioned me wrong, I'm Just JT with a space between Just and JT :)

Lol yeah, did mention you wrong. Sorry, forgot the space lol.

[Matryoshkasystem]

Skylark sorry to hear that, just hope you can find a way to deal with this.

[Skylark]

Videotape his behavior and send it to people he knows.

Lol, I don't want to ruin his social life, however small it is. I just want him to fucking stop. He''s actually been better lately. Idk why.

[bandofbros20]

Sounds like he doesn't know how you handle his anger. Your not the source of his anger there is obviously something else making him angry, but he just takes it out on you. And to be honest this is probably how his dad treated him. He doesn't know better, that doesn't excuse his actions but that's probably what's happening to him. It might be worth sitting down and talking to him about it. He probably won't take it well and might get pissed again, but it will probably get him thinking and hopefully he will consider doing something to change his behavior

[Skylark]

Sounds like he doesn't know how you handle his anger. Your not the source of his anger there is obviously something else making him angry, but he just takes it out on you. And to be honest this is probably how his dad treated him. He doesn't know better, that doesn't excuse his actions but that's probably what's happening to him. It might be worth sitting down and talking to him about it. He probably won't take it well and might get pissed again, but it will probably get him thinking and hopefully he will consider doing something to change his behavior

He's not angry, he just has no real source of superiority these days. When my brother and I were little we basically depended on him for everything and now that we're more independent he seeks superiority some other way: making everyone else around him's lives shit so his seems better by comparison. My dad also grew up in the 1960s and 70s, a time when children up to the age of 16 basically obeyed without question. He wants us to basically do everything he says without explanation and if you break one of his petty little "rules" he goes apeshit and complains about it for days.

[Just JT]

Sounds like dads a bit old school huh?
Maybe show a little dependence on him to make him feel needed. Maybe he's feeling like he's unneeded now or something

[Skylark]

That won't work. He's always going on about 'you're older, do something by yourself for once.' Fuck me. it's the perfect trap.