advice for awkward situation

[Sports Boy]

Looking for some advice to a really awkward situation. So last weekend I stayed at my girlfriends
family’s house at the beach. With the parents around, we weren’t allowed to sleep together so I shared a room with her brother. He’s 17 and a year younger than us and we get along great. So it’s late Saturday night/Sunday morning and I’m in the bedroom getting ready for bed when the brother comes in obviously having had too much to drink. His exact words to me were “ah, here’s my sister’s stud boyfriend,” we talk for a little bit and then he asks an inappropriate question about sex that night between his sister and me. I say to him that he probably just needs to go to bed. He walks up to me, starts seriously rubbing my junk and says “only if you come with me.” It seemed like he was serious rather than just joking around. I moved his hand and say I’m going to bed and he says “you’re no fun.”
The next morning we are all sitting in the kitchen when he comes down and it seems obvious he remembers most if not all of what happened. He grabs some water and announces to no one in particular that he’s going for a run without even looking at anyone. He hadn’t returned after 2 hours and his sister and I leave the house to drive back home.
I still haven’t seen him and he hasn’t been home when I’ve gone to their house this week but I texted him and he didn’t respond. I know he must be dying from embarrassment or some other feelings. And for the record, I’m bi so I wasn’t shocked or anything that he might be bi or curious or whatever. And his sister doesn’t know I am bi since I have never felt the need to tell her. I’d like to put him at ease and tell him that all is cool. But on the one hand, I don’t want to tell my girlfriend’s brother that I’m bi but I don’t want to be a fraud either. And what if he was completely joking? Or, what if he doesn’t remember it and/or denies it? I don’t want to ignore it, either, especially if he’s really bothered by what he did and it changes our relationship. But I can’t let it impact my relationship with my girlfriend.
Any advice would be appreciated.

[Flapjack]

Looking for some advice to a really awkward situation. So last weekend I stayed at my girlfriends
family’s house at the beach. With the parents around, we weren’t allowed to sleep together so I shared a room with her brother. He’s 17 and a year younger than us and we get along great. So it’s late Saturday night/Sunday morning and I’m in the bedroom getting ready for bed when the brother comes in obviously having had too much to drink. His exact words to me were “ah, here’s my sister’s stud boyfriend,” we talk for a little bit and then he asks an inappropriate question about sex that night between his sister and me. I say to him that he probably just needs to go to bed. He walks up to me, starts seriously rubbing my junk and says “only if you come with me.” It seemed like he was serious rather than just joking around. I moved his hand and say I’m going to bed and he says “you’re no fun.”
The next morning we are all sitting in the kitchen when he comes down and it seems obvious he remembers most if not all of what happened. He grabs some water and announces to no one in particular that he’s going for a run without even looking at anyone. He hadn’t returned after 2 hours and his sister and I leave the house to drive back home.
I still haven’t seen him and he hasn’t been home when I’ve gone to their house this week but I texted him and he didn’t respond. I know he must be dying from embarrassment or some other feelings. And for the record, I’m bi so I wasn’t shocked or anything that he might be bi or curious or whatever. And his sister doesn’t know I am bi since I have never felt the need to tell her. I’d like to put him at ease and tell him that all is cool. But on the one hand, I don’t want to tell my girlfriend’s brother that I’m bi but I don’t want to be a fraud either. And what if he was completely joking? Or, what if he doesn’t remember it and/or denies it? I don’t want to ignore it, either, especially if he’s really bothered by what he did and it changes our relationship. But I can’t let it impact my relationship with my girlfriend.
Any advice would be appreciated.
If it was me I would just pull him aside and be like dude chilll, I know you were drunk! Try to make a jokr out of it? But an argument could be made that he sexually assulted you and if thats how you feel you might want to take action.:)

[Cadanance00]

Time heals all wounds (just about). Worse things have happened.

Yeh, He's probably embarrassed. Next time you see him you can tell him it's okay, you're bi. Might help.

[ClaraWho]

Stop keeping secrets from your girlfriend, and if you are commited to the relationship your sexuality is irrelevant to everyone except her.

~ Clara

[Sports Boy]

Stop keeping secrets from your girlfriend, and if you are commited to the relationship your sexuality is irrelevant to everyone except her.

~ Clara

There is no requirement or expectation that I must or even should disclose all of my history, thoughts or preferences to a girlfriend of 7 months, especially when they don't have the slightest bearing or impact on our relationship.

[ClaraWho]

There is no requirement or expectation that I must or even should disclose all of my history, thoughts or preferences to a girlfriend of 7 months, especially when they don't have the slightest bearing or impact on our relationship.

A healthy, adult relationship is founded on communication, openness, honesty and loyalty. Not secrets, lies and acting. Depends if you want to treat your relationship maturely or like a TV drama.

If you're making statements like this you clearly have insecurities about your current partner, which you may want to have a long think about.

FYI her brother groping you clearly has a large bearing on your relationship, and burying it as a secret makes it look highly suspicious should it come out in future. Even I'm sat here confused about why you stood around naked in front of him, or didn't move away when he walked up to you and grabbed your penis, or shove him away, etc. That would have taken longer than a couple of seconds.

~ Clara

[Sports Boy]

A healthy, adult relationship is founded on communication, openness, honesty and loyalty. Not secrets, lies and acting. Depends if you want to treat your relationship maturely or like a TV drama.

If you're making statements like this you clearly have insecurities about your current partner, which you may want to have a long think about.

FYI her brother groping you clearly has a large bearing on your relationship, and burying it as a secret makes it look highly suspicious should it come out in future. Even I'm sat here confused about why you stood around naked in front of him, or didn't move away when he walked up to you and grabbed your penis, or shove him away, etc. That would have taken longer than a couple of seconds.

~ Clara

I'm not really interested in taking advice about "healthy, adult relationships" from someone who is sleeping with her brother.

[ClaraWho]

I'm not really interested in taking advice about "healthy, adult relationships" from someone who is sleeping with her brother.

And why might that be? Are you disinterested in having a consensual, happy relationship?

~ Clara

[Just JT]

Sports Boy, I agree part.y with ClaraWho. Yiur in a committed relationship, it should be an open book. All I'll say on that topic

The issue at hand is awkward. And I think you handled it well. But I do think it need follow up. It would be easier to talk with him openly about it if your girl knew your sexuality. That way, if this kid is confused, maybe not, what ever, you can offer some true to life first hand knowledge from someone who knows.

I'd sit him down and just explain hey im flattered, but I'm in a relationship with your sister and doing anything with you is just wrong on so may levels. Assuming you beleive that. I'm not judging how people come to be with what ever kind of relationship or with who.

Maybe let him know if in a different time or place, possible, your a nice guy, etc. but you can't do it with him. Explain his feeling and everything are fine and ok, and don't feel ashamed by them, you reacted as you were a little shocked and didn't know what else to do. And you don't want to let this ruin your potential friendship at all. He was drunk, people react differently when drunk, allow that for consideration. But even if he seems to be avoiding you, I'd have that convo asap, never know how he's feeling and how those feeling will wind up in his imagination over a long period of time, fester, and begin to spiral, and be misintrepeed if he's really upset

Just my 2 cents worth, good luck, let us know how you make out. I'm free to chat if you need to pretty much anytime

[jamie_n5]

I understand your frustration Mike. I think you need to talk to her brother and tell him that you are not upset with him or anything. You realize he was drunk and things just happened because of being drunk and doing a goofy thing. You can also say that all guys are curious and that is alright too.

Innapropriate content removed.

[Just JT]

Was just wondering how you made out with this situation?
Sports Boy