Am I Asexual?

[FlyOnTheWall]

I have been wondering about this for the past while and was wondering if anyone could help me.

Ok I think Im asexual. I am attracted to guys and want to kiss,cuddle,date,marry,make out and all that stuff but I find the thought of sex kinda repulsing and it doesnt attract me at all like I could die a virgin and I would be perfectly fine. when people start talking about sexual topics around be I get awkward and nervous and I just find the whole subject really disturbing...
so csan you help me, am I asexual?

[Croconaw]

No, you are not awkward. Sex repulses me, as well. I wouldn't mind having sex with a girl, but I would prefer not to. I'm fine with having a relationship with a girl, though. I would say that you are asexual. There is nothing wrong with that.

[Microcosm]

I'd say no. Also, I think it's much too early to tell. You mentioned that you would "die a virgin" which I imagine implies that you are a virgin now, meaning you have little to no sexual experience. In that case, it makes sense that you would have minimal feelings of sexual desire. There's really no need to rush and label yourself asexual.

It's totally okay to be awkward with sexual topics. I am when I'm talking to family members, but not friends.

[Matryoshkasystem]

I think yes you can be, its never too young. Also it sounds like you might be heteroromamtic asexual. Nothing wrong with that, since you said you are able to do stuff that's considered sensual and not sexual with guys. In fact a lot of the stuff your saying is signs of being asexual for a lot of us.

[Flapjack]

I have been wondering about this for the past while and was wondering if anyone could help me.

Ok I think Im asexual. I am attracted to guys and want to kiss,cuddle,date,marry,make out and all that stuff but I find the thought of sex kinda repulsing and it doesnt attract me at all like I could die a virgin and I would be perfectly fine. when people start talking about sexual topics around be I get awkward and nervous and I just find the whole subject really disturbing...
so csan you help me, am I asexual?
Nah I don't think you are buddy! Untill fairly recently I hated the idea of sex:)

[jamie_n5]

I don't think you are but I am no person to analyze what you have said.

[Devinsoccer]

I have been wondering about this for the past while and was wondering if anyone could help me.

Ok I think Im asexual. I am attracted to guys and want to kiss,cuddle,date,marry,make out and all that stuff but I find the thought of sex kinda repulsing and it doesnt attract me at all like I could die a virgin and I would be perfectly fine. when people start talking about sexual topics around be I get awkward and nervous and I just find the whole subject really disturbing...
so csan you help me, am I asexual?

You are asexual, I want to do the same with girls. Asexuality does not permit people from dating, kissing or what a normal couple would do. You can have a normal relationship without the sex.

[emily-]

Asexuality is a myth.

[Nosuba]

Asexuality is a myth.

It is not. It does exist and it is as valid as any other orientation. You can like same sex, opposite sex, both or none.

Btw, I'm also asexual, if knowing that could help you in any way. I'm open to talk. Feel free to contact me. Don't worry it's all right about what u have said. If u don't like sex I don't see the problem. :)

Posts merged. Next time, please use the "Edit" or "Multi" button. ~Elysium

[Flapjack]

It is not. It does exist and it is as valid as any other orientation. You can like same sex, opposite sex, both or none.
Of course, you are right:)

[ClaraWho]

There seems to be some major confusion around this entire topic, with lots of people self-identifying and becoming very defensive.

Asexual implies you have apathy towards anything sexual. Apathy by definition doesn't include strong emotions, such as disgust or awkwardness. That implies that there is some underlying psychological distress caused by the thought of sex.

Why would you get awkward/nervous about sex if you simply didn't get aroused sexually? That equation doesn't balance.

Instead you get nervous/awkward because of a worry/fear about physical intimacy and sexual acts themselves. And fear is a terrible reason to do anything.

So as awkward as it may be, perhaps trying to see a professional therapist would be the best guided exploration of the issue.

Whilst it is true that asexuals may find each other, they are far more likely to fall in love with someone who will be incompatible long-term with that aspect. Therefore it is better to address the subject rather than label yourself wrongly and ignore it.

~ Clara

[Flapjack]

There seems to be some major confusion around this entire topic, with lots of people self-identifying and becoming very defensive.

Asexual implies you have apathy towards anything sexual. Apathy by definition doesn't include strong emotions, such as disgust or awkwardness. That implies that there is some underlying psychological distress caused by the thought of sex.

Why would you get awkward/nervous about sex if you simply didn't get aroused sexually? That equation doesn't balance.


Asexual - adj, without sexual feelings or associations.

A person can be without sexual feeling and still have anxiety and finds human contact awkward.

[lemondrop]

you might be asexual... tbh it's same with me, i really don't care about that stuff,but i don't find the whole topic awkward to talk about

[ClaraWho]

Asexual - adj, without sexual feelings or associations.

A person can be without sexual feeling and still have anxiety and finds human contact awkward.

How is this in any way helpful to the OP? Surely the latter makes it impossible to tell sexuality one way/another, ergo making it irrelevant until the issue of fear of sex is addressed.

~ Clara

[Flapjack]

How is this in any way helpful to the OP? Surely the latter makes it impossible to tell sexuality one way/another, ergo making it irrelevant until the issue of fear of sex is addressed.

~ Clara
Because you was posting incorrect statements about asexuality that were misleading. Someone can be afraid of sex and still feel sexual attraction towards someone.

[ClaraWho]

Because you was posting incorrect statements about asexuality that were misleading. Someone can be afraid of sex and still feel sexual attraction towards someone.

Your misunderstanding of my point in no way makes it incorrect or misleading.

This is really quite simple. If someone is afraid of something, that feeling will take precedence over any like/dislike of it, because we DO NOT LIKE what we fear.

Not sure why you are talking about a different scenario entirely either...

In THIS circumstance the OP doesn't know why they feel afraid/awkward about sex. Therefore they cannot possibly make a judgement on sex ITSELF, but only address their issues regarding it.

Think of it this way.

If I am scared of flying a plane, but cannot figure out WHY, then I cannot tell whether I enjoy flying planes or not. Especially if I've never flown one. Like the OP hasn't had sexual contact. Therefore I need to figure out what it is about flying a plane that scares me. Especially if everyone else is happily enjoying flying planes.

With the risk of becoming a broken record, fear is a terrible reason for not doing/doing anything. There may be a dozen personal reasons why the OP doesn't want to have sex, but you're actively trying to discourage they figure out what those reasons are. 'Just stick a label on and be done'.

Knowledge is power.

You are also proving my point.

~ Clara

[Flapjack]

Your misunderstanding of my point in no way makes it incorrect or misleading.

This is really quite simple. If someone is afraid of something, that feeling will take precedence over any like/dislike of it, because we DO NOT LIKE what we fear.

Not sure why you are talking about a different scenario entirely either...

In THIS circumstance the OP doesn't know why they feel afraid/awkward about sex. Therefore they cannot possibly make a judgement on sex ITSELF, but only address their issues regarding it.

Think of it this way.

If I am scared of flying a plane, but cannot figure out WHY, then I cannot tell whether I enjoy flying planes or not. Especially if I've never flown one. Like the OP hasn't had sexual contact. Therefore I need to figure out what it is about flying a plane that scares me. Especially if everyone else is happily enjoying flying planes.

With the risk of becoming a broken record, fear is a terrible reason for not doing/doing anything. There may be a dozen personal reasons why the OP doesn't want to have sex, but you're actively trying to discourage they figure out what those reasons are. 'Just stick a label on and be done'.

I think I get what you're saying buddy but I am asexual myself and I have asexual friends and I have socially awkward friends that want sex. Also don't take things personally, we're both just trying to help the OP:)
it doesnt attract me at all like I could die a virgin and I would be perfectly fine.
To me that confirms that she is asexual. There are other ways to know your sexual attraction without having irl sex if you're socially awkward such as by watching porn:)