WhatAnArtist
June 10th, 2016, 01:09 AM
I'm 19 but I've never had a girlfriend, and I've never had sex or even kissed a girl. This makes me feel extremely insecure and depressed and anxious. It's not because of my looks (and though I know that's a very shallow way of looking at it), since I'm fairly decent looking, and it's not because I don't interact with any girls, because in my first few months at uni I've made several female friends and I get along with them very well. I really just don't know why I'm in this situation.
I've gotten so insecure about it that I start overreacting to things I really shouldn't, like I see a couple on the train holding hands or resting their head on the others' shoulder and I feel extremely jealous and almost angry that I don't have something like that. One of my female friends (that I sort of have a crush on) a few weeks ago was talking to a couple of our other (female) friends and was talking about how she isn't a virgin and that it's weird if someone is 19 or 20 and hasn't had sex, and that made me feel unbelievable insecure and almost sick, both out of jealousy regarding her sex life (it almost makes me feel sick thinking about her having sex with guys) and also because even she thinks it's weird for someone to be my age and not have had sex, and she's one of the nicest and friendliest people I've ever met.
Even though I have female friends and get along with them very well, I'm also very shy around people I don't know, so it's very hard for me to introduce myself to others and try to be friends with them, unless I'm with another friend or I already sort of know them, so the very idea of trying to get a girlfriend seems utterly impossible to me. I also get very insecure about myself and become certain that no girl would ever be interested in me romantically. Many girls have been my friends and that's cool, but none have shown any interest in anything further. As I'm now 19 and will be turning 20 early next year, it makes me feel extremely anxious and insecure that I don't have a girlfriend. It seems that everyone around me does, and that just makes me feel even worse.
I've gotten so insecure about it that I start overreacting to things I really shouldn't, like I see a couple on the train holding hands or resting their head on the others' shoulder and I feel extremely jealous and almost angry that I don't have something like that. One of my female friends (that I sort of have a crush on) a few weeks ago was talking to a couple of our other (female) friends and was talking about how she isn't a virgin and that it's weird if someone is 19 or 20 and hasn't had sex, and that made me feel unbelievable insecure and almost sick, both out of jealousy regarding her sex life (it almost makes me feel sick thinking about her having sex with guys) and also because even she thinks it's weird for someone to be my age and not have had sex, and she's one of the nicest and friendliest people I've ever met.
Even though I have female friends and get along with them very well, I'm also very shy around people I don't know, so it's very hard for me to introduce myself to others and try to be friends with them, unless I'm with another friend or I already sort of know them, so the very idea of trying to get a girlfriend seems utterly impossible to me. I also get very insecure about myself and become certain that no girl would ever be interested in me romantically. Many girls have been my friends and that's cool, but none have shown any interest in anything further. As I'm now 19 and will be turning 20 early next year, it makes me feel extremely anxious and insecure that I don't have a girlfriend. It seems that everyone around me does, and that just makes me feel even worse.