Teenage Drama destroyed everything

[Nopito]

Hello guys, im new here. And im in need of some help. A lot has gone down between me and my only group of friends this past year. To break it down, i will refer to my friends as A,B,C,D

At the beginning of last summer, c and d (theyre brothers) decided to completely ditch B from the group. I was being a moron and went with it, but later apologized to B, and everything seemed fine.

Then i went on a vacation to a different country, and when i came back (it was only a week, we had to return early) all of a sudden c and d were hanging out with B every day, which i didnt understand. I asked B and he had no idea either, as before they wouldnt even come to his house (which is a bike ride away) without massive persuasion, as they thought it was boring.

Then they all blocked me on snapchat and completely cut me off and all started hanging out together (A is included in this). I was seriously upset at this, but i didnt do much until school started again. When school started, my relationship with A and B went back to normal, and we hung out a lot. However, A and B were very concerned, as c and d would no longer hang out with us at all.

C and d then came to me and asked to hang out, so they came to my house, and we all caught up. Well, i made a huge mistake, as A and B were pissed that i hung out with them. Also, while we were hanging out, i made a small joke about A, that he didnt know how to fix his car (to be clear, this was definitely a joke), to c and d(this will come up later)

So after this they all kinda disappeared for a bit (i thought A and b were mad for me hanging out with c and d) and then i cleared things up between me, and A and B. But nothing was the same. They all hung out without me again, but didnt block me on snapchat or anything, so i assumed nothing was wrong.

Until one day when i found out from A's mom that A had heard a lot about me, such as i thought i was better than him because i went to private school, and that he would never amount to anything in life at all. I am assuming that c and d made all of this up from that on joke i made about A. I was shocked.

I tried asking them what went wrong, and A blamed it on my parents, B said he was just focusing on meeting new friends, and C said the same as A, that my parents are too intrusive when we hang out (not true). I even asked C about the stuff A heard about me, but he said he never heard of such a thing.

Its been 2 months since i heard what A thought i said about him. I want to clear the air between me, him, and friend B(i dont really care for c and d at this point). What should i do? Arrange for a meeting and apologize thoroughly? Any input, at all, is appreciated.

All of this has completely devastated me.

Thanks,
Nopito

[Croconaw]

Hello, and welcome to the site! First, it seems that you fell into peer pressure and dissed B. Let me tell you that you should never feel the need to do anything because everyone else is doing it. It is good to be different. You should have stuck up for B in this situation. That would have made you seem like a better friend. Imagine how B must have felt when those two dissed him.

I'm also confused as to why they all blocked you. B may have been angry with you that you decided to diss him before. Everyone makes mistakes, though! There seems to be way too much drama here, and everyone seems to be blaming you. That rumor about you being better than A must have been spread somehow, and it's only natural you think C and D did this. Don't make conclusions like that. You don't know what happened. Assumptions are never good as those can only make the problem worse.

I really think these friends of yours are making you upset. Plus, if you think about it, they are not good friends at all. If C and D did spread that rumor, then why would A feel inclined to believe them? I feel like this situation is causing you a lot of problems and you shouldn't hang out with these guys anymore, but it's probably best to clear the air once and for all so you don't feel guilty.

[ClaraWho]

It sounds like the sort of juvenile behaviour that goes on sometimes in groups. People stirring up drama for the sake of it. None of them trust each other, or you, and that's the foundation of any relationship. You haven't really got anything to be sorry for, they believed someone else over you. If you want to then try arranging to hang out, but people are weird, especially with class (private schools etc). I've had people hate me for that and for my well spoken accent, they say it makes them feel inferior. The important thing to take away from this is it's not your fault, it's theirs.

One good point though, potential friendships E-Z are out there to be made ;).

Good luck!

~ Clara

[Nopito]

C and d are very egotistical and superficial-i have a feeling they think im not "cool" enough for them so they decided to essentially kick me out. And the reason A believed them is he is very sensitive like that, and he kinda believes whatever he hears.

I want to branch out and meet new people. I have another friend (E) who i essentially consider a brother, and me and him are on the same page about getting new friends.

Its going to be hard though, i havent had to make new friends since kindergarten

[lliam]

just talk with A in private.


btw:

This whole social mess reminds me of some trouble I had with friends, when I was 12/13.

At that time I stayed just with friends, who didn't behaving such childishly.

The reasons you mentioned in your first post seems to be basically quite childish reasons but normally for 11-13 yos.

If our peer-group is quite older, youl should reconsider this relationship with your friends thoroughly.

And E seems to be an closer friend than the others. Just a guess.

[Just JT]

See,s to me that if the "friends" yiu had aren't willing to talk to you and talk about what's up, and try n resolve stuff then they were never your "friends" to begin with

[Nopito]

Right, but A and B didnt try to resolve their relationship with c and d either-what happened was A saw them in public and c and d explained that they werent ignoring them in the first place, just busy with sports/other friends.

A is also very attentive when you have a serious conversation, so i think once i work myself up to talking to him he will forgive me

[Nopito]

By the way i should mention-i havent talked to any of them in a few months