"Gays are disgusting"

[Ineedyou]

Recently I was listening to music with my friend and he asked a question about the song, I dont remember what he said exactly but it was about the songs lover. He asked about the artists girlfriend or something, i corrected him and said "you mean boyfriend" he said "what do you mean, a guys singing?" I said "Ya hes gay" his first reaction was "ewwww" I guess i acted upset by that or something because after he said that he was like "I dont like gays, I have no reason to hate them, but its just nasty. love whoever i guess".

The thing is, Im gay... he doesnt know and I was actually going to tell him, but now I have doubts. He grew up in alabama so I cant blame him for his conservative views, but I dont know how to handle the situation. If the topic comes up again should I say something or what?

[outback4]

If you're at the point in life where you're tired of hiding and just need it out there, go ahead. But beware, he may be ok and he may absolutely never speak to you again. That's the sad truth, and you want to have realistic expectations.

If he's one of the first people you were going to tell, then hell no. Don't tell him in that situation. You want to be confident in coming out and telling people and I find it easiest to tell someone you can trust who you know will accept you before someone who may not.

Good luck. I hope it all works out well

[Just JT]

Good advice, I second that

[FuTo]

I know a guy whos kinda homophobic and hes just like your friend. It is hard to change someones opinion one something if they think that it is wrong and especially if he's been raised up to believe that. But if he really is your friends he should accept you for who you are but don't try and push things just let him accept it on his own. My mom is homophobic but I still love her and I believe that one day she'll love this side of me too.

[jdhud024]

He grew up in alabama so I cant blame him for his conservative views

Lol. I live in Alabama and I actually don't see any conservative views like this at all where I live. And I live in a very small town. And I haven't had that experience at all. I'm gay, everyone knows, no one cares. Hell, when everyone found out, most of the responses were, "I knew you were gay already, why do I care?". Just my experience.

Anyway, I would do as the others have said. If you have already told others and don't care about what he will think or say then tell him. If you aren't comfortable telling him due to what he may say or if he is one of the few you people you've told/ are going to tell, then don't. It is really just what you are comfortable with and if you think you can deal with whatever his reaction will be, be it a good or bad one.

Good luck with whatever you do.

[Dalcourt]

I'm also from the South and people are very open here so as he is maybe prejudiced against gays you seem to have prejudices against people from the South, lol.

As you see nobody's perfect...and I don't think he really has something against gay people ...and if you want to tell him I don't think it will harm your friendship permanently. I just never got why gay people think they have to come out like that though. I mean if I'm with my boyfriend holding hands or kiss or whatever I feel people get I'm into guys, right? But if you feel you have to make this big confession thing you should do it and live with whatever his reaction is...otherwise you would just always have to hide a part of you and this will damage your friendship sooner or later anyway.

I wish you all the best.

[FuTo]

Lol. I live in Alabama and I actually don't see any conservative views like this at all where I live. And I live in a very small town. And I haven't had that experience at all. I'm gay, everyone knows, no one cares. Hell, when everyone found out, most of the responses were, "I knew you were gay already, why do I care?". Just my experience.

Anyway, I would do as the others have said. If you have already told others and don't care about what he will think or say then tell him. If you aren't comfortable telling him due to what he may say or if he is one of the few you people you've told/ are going to tell, then don't. It is really just what you are comfortable with and if you think you can deal with whatever his reaction will be, be it a good or bad one.

Good luck with whatever you do.

Lol I had the same response when I came out. And I admit was a such a queen when I was younger. I had always been feminine and more comfy being around girls so it was a indicator.

[jdhud024]

Lol I had the same response when I came out. And I admit was a such a queen when I was younger. I had always been feminine and more comfy being around girls so it was a indicator.

Most of my friends are females and I have been caught looking at guys without realizing it, I kinda have the stereotypical "gay voice" (I hate calling it that but that is what it sounds like), and according to one of my guy friends, "Whenever we shared a bed when spending the night at each other's house, you were way too ok with sharing a bed instead of saying that you would sleep on the couch". (I found the last part kind of funny)

Oh well. I'm not sure if I act feminine in any way but I have heard I do to an extent but not sure in what way.

[FuTo]

Most of my friends are females and I have been caught looking at guys without realizing it, I kinda have the stereotypical "gay voice" (I hate calling it that but that is what it sounds like), and according to one of my guy friends, "Whenever we shared a bed when spending the night at each other's house, you were way too ok with sharing a bed instead of saying that you would sleep on the couch". (I found the last part kind of funny)

Oh well. I'm not sure if I act feminine in any way but I have heard I do to an extent but not sure in what way.

XD most of my friends are females too and I am VERY girly I admit and so is my voice. I have been mistaken for a girl all throughout my life. Even from my relatives and cousins. Some of my friends thought I uploaded a picture of a girl to my account a while back cuz I let my hair grow and they havent seen me since I'd moved. But I've never been caught staring at guys cuz I'm like a pro now and I could be staring for hours and still not get caught haha.

[Flapjack]

Recently I was listening to music with my friend and he asked a question about the song, I dont remember what he said exactly but it was about the songs lover. He asked about the artists girlfriend or something, i corrected him and said "you mean boyfriend" he said "what do you mean, a guys singing?" I said "Ya hes gay" his first reaction was "ewwww" I guess i acted upset by that or something because after he said that he was like "I dont like gays, I have no reason to hate them, but its just nasty. love whoever i guess".

The thing is, Im gay... he doesnt know and I was actually going to tell him, but now I have doubts. He grew up in alabama so I cant blame him for his conservative views, but I dont know how to handle the situation. If the topic comes up again should I say something or what?
Sorry you're going through this buddy!! Often when a homophobic twat actually has a family member or friend come out they see the light. But some don't so it's up to you:)

[Just JT]

That's a really unfortunate thing. Seems to me that a true friend would be accepting of you regardless of your sexuality. It just don't matter. In the end, you'll be with friends, people you like and they like you, and find your way and be comfortable in your own skin. So don't worry about people who use words that might cats kruse you into a group in a way that negative or what ever. All that shows is the bad parenting the end had. So feel bad for them for how they are