Totally weirded out

[Cadanance00]

I don't know if this goes here or in mental crisis. I guess here cuz it's not a crisis in that somebody's in danger.

I got an invitation to go to my biological father's for a grill out this afternoon. He's married and they have two girls age 7 & 9. My mom says he wants to spend some time with me some time. His wife knows about me - he didn't tell her for a long time, complicated story.

I saw them in the mall a couple weeks ago. I've seen them before cuz they're friends of my mom but the girls look more like me than my half brother and half sister, dishwater hair, blue eyes & build. The girls don't know I'm their half brother & mom says they think it may be better if they're older before they're told so they'll be old enough to understand.

Super totally awkward. To his wife I'm the child of the woman he got pregnant before he married her. The girls don't know me except as a kid from mom's family & to him I'm his kid that another man raised as his own son.

Mom is like yeah why not, dad says he thinks I ought to get to know him some day. Sis thinks it's cool to have another dad & I want to run and go hide.

Am I making too big a thing out of this? Am I blowing it all out of proportion?

The only reason I guess I'm writing this is part of me wants to go and part of me doesn't.

[ClaraWho]

Well you summarised it yourself, it's all down to how you feel. Not really anything else for anyone to point out to you! Decide what you think you'll want in the future.

~ Clara

[Just JT]

I can understand not telling yiur half sisters yet, they're young and might be hard to explain. But you going? Seems like your on the fense about it and only because it feels awkward.

Well there's lots of blended families these days, and if you go, the awkwardness will go away, maybe not completly, but some, and over time, it'll go away as you build a relationship with your dads family, and probably become included in it as well

So why not, might be fun to

[Cadanance00]

Oh boy. One yes and one no.

My mom's totally blasee about it. Like whatever. I think my dad understands.

If I go, I'm stuck for a while since they live too far away to walk.

[Just JT]

Well, looks like you went, would love to hear about your great time!!!

[Cadanance00]

Well, looks like you went, would love to hear about your great time!!!

Well it happened. My mom went with me after I talked it over with her. She went off with Jim for a while and smoked weed and I talked to my half-sisters that don't know they're my half-sisters and their mother. She likes me and I'm comfortable with her. She smiled a lot at me. The oldest girl looks like her dad and me and is a little shy like me and the younger girl looks like her mother and is just a normal girl. I like them and the older girl wanted to talk to me a lot and it felt like I have something in common with her like she's really my sister.

We grilled out and stayed a couple of hours. My dad's right about Jim: he's kind of non-ambitious and his wife takes care of most the things around the family. He doesn't seem to be interested in much except the band he half-sort-of plays in and the music they play. Truth, I was a little disappointed like I'm glad I have the dad I have. He's a lot more "there" if you know what I mean.

[Just JT]

I know exactly what you mean. My dad was to. They both had/have different families than the normal or traditional one. My dad married an object he consumed. Different, but also the same.

I'm sure is disappointing and awkward for you. Your dad is who he is and he has obligations to other people. People who don't know who you are (maybe)

All said and done, as disappointed as you are, you made the first step, and the next one (if you choose) will be easier.

He's your dad, no matter how you slice it, he's your dad, try and feel lucky you got one

[Cadanance00]

I prefer to call my dad the man who raised me and the other one my biological father.

My dad told me that when she got pregnant she felt like she couldn't count on Jim to be there and take care of her and the kids if anything happened to her. He said it didn't make any difference to him that another man's sperm made her pregnant and he just decided I was his child which I was automatically cuz they were married when I was born. I understand more now.

I'm looking forward to when I can tell the girls I'm their half brother. I thiink my sister will like them & maybe we can do things together when they're older.

[Just JT]

Well you can call people as you see them. Personally, I still call my soon to be adoptive parents by their first name. It's confusing to some, but I get why you wana call jim "Jim"

You never know, as time moves on, people open up, become more aware and comfortable with stuff and changes. Seems to me your half sisters either know somethings up, or they think your cute lol!!

Either way, embrace the family you got bro ok? You can't pick them, but their who you got...