I have a lot of trouble trusting my boyfriend

[Supermeggs12]

I was best friends with a guy. We were very close and told each other everything. He was very much in love with another girl, but things didn't work out very well with her and he feels like she betrayed his trust. I got closer and closer to him, then we fell in love. But, things are complicated..

I want to trust him. But I don't know, I'm just scared he's going to break my heart or leave me for someone else.. and my friends aren't helping. My friends keep telling me not to trust him. They say he doesn't really love me and is just using me to fill a void in his life since he thinks his parents don't love him. Whenever they see me around him, I always get judgmental looks from them. All of the comments my friends make about our relationship make me feel extremely insecure. What do I do?

[Flapjack]

I was best friends with a guy. We were very close and told each other everything. He was very much in love with another girl, but things didn't work out very well with her and he feels like she betrayed his trust. I got closer and closer to him, then we fell in love. But, things are complicated..

I want to trust him. But I don't know, I'm just scared he's going to break my heart or leave me for someone else.. and my friends aren't helping. My friends keep telling me not to trust him. They say he doesn't really love me and is just using me to fill a void in his life since he thinks his parents don't love him. Whenever they see me around him, I always get judgmental looks from them. All of the comments my friends make about our relationship make me feel extremely insecure. What do I do?


When listening to your friends, take everything they say with a grain of salt. From my experience 98% of negative stuff they say is not true and they may be trying to split you up for selfish reasons, however sometimes you can be blindly in love and not see a darker side to your partner.

I would say trust him and ignore your friends, from what you've written its most likely them just being judgemental and nasty so don't let it impact your relationship.

[ashdyn]

The shitty thing about loving someone for real is that it's always gunna involve risk and honestly a leap of faith. If you're worried about him using you as his rebound then stay close...maybe even let him know how you feel about him but just hold off on committing to anything serious. Let a few more weeks or even a month or two pass.

[Supermeggs12]

The shitty thing about loving someone for real is that it's always gunna involve risk and honestly a leap of faith. If you're worried about him using you as his rebound then stay close...maybe even let him know how you feel about him but just hold off on committing to anything serious. Let a few more weeks or even a month or two pass.

I've told him that I feel insecure and have trust issues. But he has been very consistent with the fact that he only wants me and no one else.

[ashdyn]

I've told him that I feel insecure and have trust issues. But he has been very consistent with the fact that he only wants me and no one else.


Well shit....that's a pretty good sign lol if you feel unsure about it then just wait it out. What's the rush? If he really loves you he'll wait for you and even double down his efforts to get you to trust him. You just have to make sure he knows there's light at the end of the tunnel. That if he waits for you you'll be there for him when you're ready. If you suddenly become ready then fuck what your friends say. It's your life to live. If they're real friends they'll support you. And if they happen to be right in the end, then they'll probably tell you I told you so but still be friends after it all.

[Uniquemind]

I'm currently running a 3 year loyalty test with my partner.

The relationship has to last that long in order for that sense of trust to be gained.

But I'm super strict like that. I'm skeptical by nature and am hard to crack.

[Zachary G]

1) dont pay any attention to your friends, this is your relationship not theirs
2) if you are having trust issues with him, then maybe you shouldnt be with him in the first place, especially if you are having this feeling deep down inside.
3) its not fair to either of you to stay in this kind of relationship if you arent 100% committed to it

[ashdyn]

I'm currently running a 3 year loyalty test with my partner.

The relationship has to last that long in order for that sense of trust to be gained.

But I'm super strict like that. I'm skeptical by nature and am hard to crack.

No offense or anything but 3 years to gain a sense of trust is kinda ridiculous. If you can't trust them after year 1 what's the point of going on?