Drinking

[Vermilion]

I've posted before about this but it's happening again. My dad is drinking, he's an alcoholic no other way to put it. Saturday I can home from work to find him out of it not making any sense at all. We shouted at each other a lot. He then apologised for the way he acted and left for a walk. To only come back not being able to stand properly and saying he hasn't been drinking. To witch no one believed him. My mum and twin went down to the corner shop to ask, he had bought a quarter of vodka and drunk it. He then spent Sunday going out and coming back different to when he left. Today he did the same but we found him at the end of the road pretty much passed out. My older brother and kind neighbor carried him home. He then laid there for about an hour before getting up to only go and sleep for over an hour. It's mums birthday tomorrow what a nice way to have it spoiled. He had already wrecked my sisters birthday by bing drunk.

He has a hospital appointment Wednesday for a lump in his chest that the Dr's don't know what it is. He's got it in his mind that it's cancer as his brother passed away last year from cancer.

So yep how my life is right now.

[Pulp501]

Sounds like how my mom was, she was an alcoholic and she just kept getting worse until she died. Now it seems like your dad isn't like an abusive drunk or anything, so that's at least good if you want to talk to him about getting help. We never really tried to get my mom help and it didn't turn out well. Hopefully your dad won't die from drinking, my mom was taking pain medication with it which is what actually killed her, if she wasn't doing that I imagine she'd still be an alcoholic but at least alive. I would just say, be persistent with him, encourage him to stop and get help all the time cuz that's what I should have done, even if he gets mad at you for doing it.

[Vermilion]

18 years of family trying to get him to stop just for him to stop start stop start. He's been in hospital for many times. Been on programs to see if he's been drinking.

[Almostahero]

I know how you feel man. I am sorry to hear this.

[Vermilion]

I know how you feel man. I am sorry to hear this.


Thank you :)

[Fiction]

So sorry Tom, this must be so difficult for you and all of your family. There's nothing I can really suggest other than to tell you my thoughts are with you x

[Vermilion]

So sorry Tom, this must be so difficult for you and all of your family. There's nothing I can really suggest other than to tell you my thoughts are with you x

Thank you :hug:

[Melodic]

I completely understand how you feel. It's a really difficult situation to go through. My mom had addiction problems as well and we used to fight constantly over it. You're in my thoughts!

[LRSSS02]

see somebody to help you get through like your school guidance counselor

[Abyssal Echo]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this Tom. :hug: I've been through similar situations with my Father and x step dad many times. Sadly there's not much you or anyone else can do for him until he decides he wants to stop drinking. I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to.

[kevenity]

Give your father an ultimatum on his alcoholic addiction. The ultimatum needs to be powerful and mind changing like threatening to cut ties or even more. I know thats harsh but your father needs to get in his head. He needs to be aware of the harm he puts into the family and maybe hearing it from all your family members at once would help. Suggest that he needs help and actually arrange something if he keeps denying.

[Bull]

Tom, so sorry for your situation. Keep strong with your mum and family.

[Just JT]

Tom, I know it's been a struggle for you and your family. We've talked about it before, and you know I've lived your hell myself. I wish I had some words for you to make you feel better. I wish there was something I could do to make his stop drinking and take charge of his life again. But the reality is, there is nothing anyone can do, but dad.

I'm here, we're all here, to listen to you if you need to talk and vent. We may not all be able to understand how you feel, but we can listen, and be there as your friend and support you and your family bro.

Peace, and good luck, please keep us up on how the Dr appointment goes ok?

:hug:

[Vermilion]

I completely understand how you feel. It's a really difficult situation to go through. My mom had addiction problems as well and we used to fight constantly over it. You're in my thoughts!

Thanks you :)

see somebody to help you get through like your school guidance counselor

I have seen a college student service woman. We spoke a lot before. I just don't get the time to know I'm to busy

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this Tom. :hug: I've been through similar situations with my Father and x step dad many times. Sadly there's not much you or anyone else can do for him until he decides he wants to stop drinking. I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to.

Thank you Matty :hug:

Give your father an ultimatum on his alcoholic addiction. The ultimatum needs to be powerful and mind changing like threatening to cut ties or even more. I know thats harsh but your father needs to get in his head. He needs to be aware of the harm he puts into the family and maybe hearing it from all your family members at once would help. Suggest that he needs help and actually arrange something if he keeps denying.


He's been given the choice either drink or his family and he's chosen family and drink. This isn't a one off thing. Can't kick him out and can't move out so yep not much to do

Tom, I know it's been a struggle for you and your family. We've talked about it before, and you know I've lived your hell myself. I wish I had some words for you to make you feel better. I wish there was something I could do to make his stop drinking and take charge of his life again. But the reality is, there is nothing anyone can do, but dad.

I'm here, we're all here, to listen to you if you need to talk and vent. We may not all be able to understand how you feel, but we can listen, and be there as your friend and support you and your family bro.

Peace, and good luck, please keep us up on how the Dr appointment goes ok?

:hug:


Thanks Jt and will do :hug:

Tom, so sorry for your situation. Keep strong with your mum and family.

Thanks for your words Billy :)

[Vermilion]

Guess an update. So Wednesday after work I came home to dad counting 2p's when then went out mum putted at his pockets which had the money in it. He just walk out, I followed Just to watch him go and by a quarter of vodka. He drank it then expected me to let him hold onto me till we got home. Today I came home from work to find out my twin had watched him go into a shop .He then left not noticing that he was watch he then walked behind the show and drank what me guess was another quarter of vodka. He said it wasn't him.
So he only drank and smoked for a week tomorrow no food at all

[Just JT]

Does the city or county you live in or what ever you call it where you live offer any services for alcoholics like your dad, like an inpatient type thing?

[Vermilion]

London, England and yes the local hospital has a unit for alcoholics but it's all if they want to go and they can leave when they like. Normally after a week or two of drinking he ends up there for a couple of days till he's sobar and he comes home very apologetic. Just for it to happen all over again

[Just JT]

Yeah, some places are like that. I know some, you can get them committed even against their will. Like a court order, but can be hard to get but does get done

Don't know how stuff is viewed in England like this, but here we have something we call "rough justice". And it's a really hard thing to do, but it's like if you really love the person you gota like turn your back to them because of their "distructive behavior".
You guys might need to just give him a choice, either the bottle, or his family.
I know that sounds really shitty, and seems almost impossible. But look, him drinking effects the whole family in a negative way, and he either don't see it that way, or just don't care.
Either way, he need to come to terms with one of those things.

[Vermilion]

He knows how it affects the family. And we do turn our backs on him but it's hard to walk away or even leave him for a bit when you have no where to go

[Riley2015]

You know i am always here if you need to talk :hug: