Advice needed in dealing with mom and dad

[kyrocks03]

Okay, so here goes ...

I turned 13 in March. I've questioned whether I'm gay or not since I was like 10 and the reason I questioned it is because at about that age, I often wondered about what other boys looked like naked and stuff. At about 11/12 when my friends started talking about how hot some girl was, or going on about their tits, I would just agree and move on and not even think about it. I never have had any interest in girls, but boys is an entirely different story.

I know ... I'm rambling ...

So, at the end of 6th grade (last year) a new boy came to our school and we hit it off almost right away. He likes the same things I do, and we have a lot in common, including the crazy water sports I do. He went on a trip to Florida with me, and since we shared a room, we ended up talking and one thing led to another and we started "experimenting" with each other. As summer passed, I started loving him, and found out he felt the same way about me.

So ... fast forward to March Break ... he was with us again in Florida for barefooting, and my mom made an off handed statement that the two of us are so super close and she hinted that she knows about us. She told me how happy she is that I have a friend like him and made a comment about how we seem like soul mates. Then, two weeks ago, we had a sleep over, and we were in bed together really close together, and she came into the bedroom to say good night. He really quickly shifted away from me, but after she left we continued on with what we were doing.

So the question is that I think my mom knows I'm gay and that my friend is actually my boyfriend and I really think I need to talk to her about this and what/who I am. I'm ready for it myself and really have an over powering need to do this.

I just don't know how to approach her. Can you guys help me? I've learned a lot about myself and become quite comfortable with who I am as a result of these forums and really laid out a lot here just now for the first time ever, to anyone, other than my boyfriend ... I need to come out to my parents. Help!

[SubEruanna]

well, you seem like quite an eloquent writer, if you happen to be one of those people who write better than they talk, then you could write her a letter explaining this an hand it to them to read. less awkwardness, and you can sort out your thoughts clearly to put it onto paper.
just an idea

[Zachary G]

well, you seem like quite an eloquent writer, if you happen to be one of those people who write better than they talk, then you could write her a letter explaining this an hand it to them to read. less awkwardness, and you can sort out your thoughts clearly to put it onto paper.
just an idea

I was going ot suggest the same thing. If you cant bring yourself to pull her aside for a one-on-one talk, then put your feelings on paper, you may find its easier for you and it will give you time to prepare yourself for when she comes to you, because she will, to talk to you about what was written. Just be patient and take your time, it will all come together for you. Good luck.

[kyrocks03]

Thank you. I was thinking about writing it all out ahead of time before I talked to her. I don't want to do the letter thing because my older brother is a douchebag and I don't want him happening across it and telling the world about my business. We don't get along very well at all.

[jdhud024]

I would pull her aside away from anyone who would interrupt and just say, "Mom, I think I like _____". That's basically how I told my parents, and it worked for me at least. If you don't want to write a letter, then telling her in person away from distractions is the only way that no one else can overhear or anything. It may seem scary, but once you tell her, I guarantee you will feel a lot better (I did, at least. Your experience may be different, but going off of what you told us, she seems like she will be accepting and loving, and not turn it into a big deal).

[ska8er]

I would first ask ur Mom what she thinks of ur friend.
If she says he is cool then u can say that u feel the
same way bout him and what would she think if u
told her that he is special to u and then take it from
there and c how it plays out. I think u have a special
Mom-Good Luck.

[kyrocks03]

I'm pretty lucky with both my mom and dad to be honest. Both are pretty open minded and easy going. I honestly think she knows already, based on the things she has said to me. I think I might talk to her tonight after practice and see how it goes. Just got to up the bravery factor!

[Bull]

I think that you are a very lucky guy: you have a boyfriend and your mother is very accepting of that. Also, I think your mother has given you the opportunity in the past to share your situation and will probably do so again in the future. So, the next time she opens the opportunity just share. It worked for me with my current boyfriend.

[DoodleSnap]

I think that it's probably best to just be straight with it (excuse the pun) - just tell her that you're gay, and that you love him. It's the best way, and it'll be great because she accepts you.

Good luck.

[Bluebyrd]

I'm pretty lucky with both my mom and dad to be honest. Both are pretty open minded and easy going. I honestly think she knows already, based on the things she has said to me. I think I might talk to her tonight after practice and see how it goes. Just got to up the bravery factor!

Any update? If you haven't told her already then I think that you should just let her catch you two if you don't feel completely comfortable going up to her.

[kyrocks03]

Planning on doing this tomorrow ...

[Bluebyrd]

Planning on doing this tomorrow ...

Good luck! Keep us updated!

[kyrocks03]

So mom and I talked after ball practice on the way home. It went awesome. She said that her and dad have known for about 6 month and they love me and are fine with my choices and are here to support me. They just want me to be safe and make wise decisions. She asked me about safe sex practices and I told her that I'm not at that point yet and that I'm too young (the truth). She just looked at me and said okay, and then asked if I'd rather talk to dad. I told her that when I'm ready for that talk, I promise I'll come to them.

I feel like the luckiest kid in the world right now, but I'm not at a point that I can discuss what happens when my boyfriend and I are together and messing around. We haven't gone "all the way" yet but have talked about it. We've decided that we aren't at that point yet.

[Straya]

congratulations man glad it went well for you

[SubEruanna]

whooo! yay! im so happy for you, and that it went well :)

[Bluebyrd]

So mom and I talked after ball practice on the way home. It went awesome. She said that her and dad have known for about 6 month and they love me and are fine with my choices and are here to support me. They just want me to be safe and make wise decisions. She asked me about safe sex practices and I told her that I'm not at that point yet and that I'm too young (the truth). She just looked at me and said okay, and then asked if I'd rather talk to dad. I told her that when I'm ready for that talk, I promise I'll come to them.

I feel like the luckiest kid in the world right now, but I'm not at a point that I can discuss what happens when my boyfriend and I are together and messing around. We haven't gone "all the way" yet but have talked about it. We've decided that we aren't at that point yet.

OMG! I'm so happy for you. You've just brought a giant smile to my face. I hope everything goes well for you in the future :)

[Jinglebottom]

I'm actually stunned about what was going through their mind when they were just 11. The eleven year olds at my school are too busy playing hide-and-seek and still think the opposite sex has "cooties".

[DoodleSnap]

So mom and I talked after ball practice on the way home. It went awesome. She said that her and dad have known for about 6 month and they love me and are fine with my choices and are here to support me. They just want me to be safe and make wise decisions. She asked me about safe sex practices and I told her that I'm not at that point yet and that I'm too young (the truth). She just looked at me and said okay, and then asked if I'd rather talk to dad. I told her that when I'm ready for that talk, I promise I'll come to them.

I feel like the luckiest kid in the world right now, but I'm not at a point that I can discuss what happens when my boyfriend and I are together and messing around. We haven't gone "all the way" yet but have talked about it. We've decided that we aren't at that point yet.

That's fantastic - I'm really pleased that it went well for you. Congratulations.

[kyrocks03]

I'm actually stunned about what was going through their mind when they were just 11. The eleven year olds at my school are too busy playing hide-and-seek and still think the opposite sex has "cooties".

I actually think a lot of 11 year olds are starting to wake up sexually and have attraction to opposite and same sex. It's not like they are out doing each other, but there are 11 year olds that definitely masturbate. I know I definitely did, know my brother did, and know for sure that a lot of my friends did and I'm sure a lot of people everywhere else as well.

[Just JT]

You have Some awesome parents ya no?
Your very lucky bro, good luck with that

[jamie_n5]

I am so happy for you man! I hope things go great for you and your BF I have had mine since we were 14.