The Belt

[birdbrain01]

How many of you get the belt when you get spanked?
How old were you when you stopped getting spanked?
If you don't get spanked with the belt what do your parents use?

[Leprous]

How many of you get the belt when you get spanked?
How old were you when you stopped getting spanked?
If you don't get spanked with the belt what do your parents use?

To me the idea of spanking your child seems so wrong in so many ways. Yell at them if they're not behaving, punish them, but don't hurt your own child like that. I have never been spanked by my parents and I'm glad. I honestly don't know why it is still so common.

[Riley2015]

yeah my dad has given me the belt at times

[birdbrain01]

To me the idea of spanking your child seems so wrong in so many ways. Yell at them if they're not behaving, punish them, but don't hurt your own child like that. I have never been spanked by my parents and I'm glad. I honestly don't know why it is still so common.

I do not enjoy being spanked but compared to my friends I think it's a lot better. When my friends get in trouble they end up being grounded for a week or two. When I do something similar to what they did wrong I simply get spanked and then it's over with..
And I don't always get the belt. If it's my mom it's usually just her hand but if it's my dad it's almost always going to be the belt

[everlong]

I've never been spanked

[lliam]

Fortunately, my dad grew up never experiencing such penalties. Thus even I didn't.

[ethan-s]

yeah. i stopped testing boundaries after that.

[BlackParadePixie]

nope...never been spanked with anything.

[birdbrain01]

I really don't think girls get spanked. Especially by dad.

[ClaraWho]

The whole concept is so horrifically wrong. What does it teach? Physical villence is an acceptable way to punish a transgression. That hitting your own future children is a normal, none horrible practice.

Why is it when an adult resorts to violence with another adult, it is a crime and the wrong thing to do. Yet for an adult to beat their child, who is told must love them, who probably trusts them, that is all fine?

If it gets to the stage where you have physically and deliberately taken actions to hurt your child, you have failed as a parent. If you'd done your job properly you wouldn't need to resort to such a lazy tool. It's a complete admission of defeat, a failure to come up with a parenting solution.

Do you see the government use this method on prisoners? No. Because it would only make them more violent and resentful towards the punisher. If doesn't work as a means of deterrent or rehabilitation. The removal of priviliages does, education of consequences, of cause/effect and victims perspectivr DOES.

I'm half awake and rambling, oops....

~ Clara zz

[eric2001]

I've never been spanked.

[ethan-s]

I really don't think girls get spanked. Especially by dad.

My sis got a few swats once by my dad. I seem to recall it happening to one of my female cousins or freinds once, but not sure on that.

[birdbrain01]

I've gotten my ass beat when I told my parents I was going to bed and then I snuck out of my room to go to a friend's house.

[ethan-s]

Lemme say this.

As a kid, I'd rather get spanked than get my shit taken away for a couple of weeks, or being in my room the whole day.

but yea tho, I guess it is kinda fucked up.

EDIT: lol, I've gotten more than just the belt.

Same here. Would you rather not have computer for three months or get two smacks on the arse?

As far as why vs. Why not as a parent, IMO the only reason you should spank is for disobedience. Nothing more. But it must be done with love. Which would you rather have, a kid who has no respect for his folks or the law and get years in jail or something, or a kid who was swated a couple times and is now an awesome dude?

I would type more but I'm on mobile right now.

[birdbrain01]

I don't think my parents want to deal with the hassle of grounding. That's why I think they make the spanking really count

[Vermilion]

Yes I have and stopped about 11

[Bull]

Yeah when I was younger I would get my butt swatted with a hand. Last time was when I was about 10. I have never been abused with a belt.

[Cooper_2001]

My mom used to use a belt because she says its how she was raised (She grew up with an abusive father that beat the living shit out her mom). I hate my parents and I lost all respect for them when they found out I had a gay friend they refused to let me hang out with him.

[ClaraWho]

Same here. Would you rather not have computer for three months or get two smacks on the arse?

As far as why vs. Why not as a parent, IMO the only reason you should spank is for disobedience. Nothing more. But it must be done with love. Which would you rather have, a kid who has no respect for his folks or the law and get years in jail or something, or a kid who was swated a couple times and is now an awesome dude?

I would type more but I'm on mobile right now.

It's always this twisted logic that really worries me.

You start by saying it isn't as effective a punishment at stopping you, that non-violent means work better as a deterent, yet then try to justify it with flawed logic.

The vast majority of the people I know were never hit even once by their parents. It's a sick myth when you hear people claim 'oh I needed that to know right/wrong. No, just needed boundaries. None of them were beaten for their mistakes, yet none of them would deliberately set out to hurt someone or be jerks. So clearly the violence is unnecessary for moral outcome, except it leads to people thinking it's acceptable to beat their own kids.

The idea of striking with your hand/object a child much younger than you, who trusts and loves you, and calling that violence 'love' sickens me. 'You must love what hurts you, what you are afraid of, what doesn't treat you with equal respect'.

~ Clara

[Xiao.Z]

Adopt parent never hit even for worse trouble. I grateful for peace home.

[ethan-s]

It's always this twisted logic that really worries me.

You start by saying it isn't as effective a punishment at stopping you, that non-violent means work better as a deterent, yet then try to justify it with flawed logic.

The vast majority of the people I know were never hit even once by their parents. It's a sick myth when you hear people claim 'oh I needed that to know right/wrong. No, just needed boundaries. None of them were beaten for their mistakes, yet none of them would deliberately set out to hurt someone or be jerks. So clearly the violence is unnecessary for moral outcome, except it leads to people thinking it's acceptable to beat their own kids.

The idea of striking with your hand/object a child much younger than you, who trusts and loves you, and calling that violence 'love' sickens me. 'You must love what hurts you, what you are afraid of, what doesn't treat you with equal respect'.



~ Clara

think of it this way; kids need to know that their actions have consequences, right? yes, OK, so that means that at some point in time they will do something that makes them get hurt. lets say you just ground you kids for 3 weeks whenever they screw up. well, how does this teach them that if you dont respect the law/rules, you just get shut up in a room. in reality, if you break the law, you will probably get your ass kicked and/or shot by thecops or someone else.


what happens when they break the boundary?

my philosophy on grounding is that it encourages bad behavior- especially in boys. why? because when you just shut the kid up with nothing to do, it creates this longing for action and adventure. this lead to kids wanting to do those thing they wished they could do instead of being grounded.

[ClaraWho]

think of it this way; kids need to know that their actions have consequences, right? yes, OK, so that means that at some point in time they will do something that makes them get hurt. lets say you just ground you kids for 3 weeks whenever they screw up. well, how does this teach them that if you dont respect the law/rules, you just get shut up in a room. in reality, if you break the law, you will probably get your ass kicked and/or shot by thecops or someone else.


what happens when they break the boundary?

my philosophy on grounding is that it encourages bad behavior- especially in boys. why? because when you just shut the kid up with nothing to do, it creates this longing for action and adventure. this lead to kids wanting to do those thing they wished they could do instead of being grounded.

May I ask what part of my explaination of the alternative did you stuggle with?

Nobody is saying kids shouldn't be disciplined, the question is in the form that discipline takes.

If we look at how the legal system operates for example.

Crime ---> being caught for said crime.
Caught = arrested.
Arrested ---> Punishment appropriate to the specific crime.
Sentence = Removal of freedom/priviliages.

We consider countries that sentence prisoners to beatings to be barbaric and backward. The entire justice system is founded on non gratifying or excessive violence. Regardless of debates off-topic of police abuse which IS NOT common place.

By your flawed logic you should beat children because some day, someone abusing their power may in unlikely circumstances, hurt them if they break the law. That's absurd logic. Again, I draw your attention to nearly everyone I know who has never been hit even once, yet wouldn't deliberatly hurt or steal from anyone. The two aren't correlated. Even by your own admission loss of privilage is worse and being hit is less of a deterant.

Wouldn't it be more useful to teach them the real consequences of said bad actions? If yes, then removing priviliages is the way to do so. That's how the law works. That's how 99% of criminals get punished.

And on your philosophy it implies that after 3 weeks of punishment (grounding), they rush out to get themselves grounded for another 3 weeks. Clearly the problem in that case is a maladjusted child unable to find normal interest in lawful activities. If he hadn't spent 3 weeks Not partaking in said activities, are you seriously suggesting a 5 minute beating would have made him want to stay home and what, play chess for those 3 weeks instead? No. He'd have spent the 3 weeks still doing them.

~ Clara

[kirsty_js16]

me and my 2 sisters have had the belt

[birdbrain01]

It seems like people from outside of the United States are more in favor of the belt or spanking then they are in the u.s. . My parents and aunt and uncle are very much in favor of spanking.

[ethan-s]

Maybe that's because they think (know) it works really well? I dunno.

[birdbrain01]

Lol.

[ClaraWho]

It seems like people from outside of the United States are more in favor of the belt or spanking then they are in the u.s. . My parents and aunt and uncle are very much in favor of spanking.

There are States in the US were pupils are still beaten in school for misdemeanours (you know, like the UK evolved out of 30/40 yrs ago...) based on biblical teachings.

Turns out if you beat kids it doesn't have any significant impact on decreasing the crime rate compared to States that outlaw it. Ergo, it doesn't work as a punishment. Ergo it is simply immoral.

http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0934191.html

http://www.gundersenhealth.org/ncptc/center-for-effective-discipline

Gershoff found "strong associations" between corporal punishment and all eleven child behaviors and experiences. Ten of the associations were negative such as with increased child aggression and antisocial behavior. The single desirable association was between corporal punishment and increased immediate compliance on the part of the child.

In commentary published along with the Gershoff study, George W. Holden, PhD, of the University of Texas at Austin, writes that Gershoff's findings "reflect the growing body of evidence indicating that corporal punishment does no good and may even cause harm." Holden submits that the psychological community should not be advocating spanking as a discipline tool for parents.

http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2002/06/spanking.aspx

~ Clara

[birdbrain01]

Try explaining that to the belt tells me to mow the lawn and I argue with her.

[pconnor2001]

We get spanked with the belt or paddle.

[Supermeggs12]

I got spanked as a child..not anymore.

[birdbrain01]

I got spanked as a child..not anymore.
So how do you get punished now? And also how old are you?

[Supermeggs12]

So how do you get punished now? And also how old are you?

I'm 16 and get my phone taken away :(

When I got spanked, I was like 4-9 years old.

[LanaPole]

Belt or paddle... i still do get spanked

[Riley2015]

I think being grounded is worse than the belt tbh, i mean the belt is over quick but a grounding drags on. Espeically long groundings like the ones my dad gives me

[birdbrain01]

My parents aren't home enough to enforce a grounding. That's why I know that when I screw up I'm getting the belt or a hand spanking.

[JordanB777]

To me the idea of spanking your child seems so wrong in so many ways. Yell at them if they're not behaving, punish them, but don't hurt your own child like that. I have never been spanked by my parents and I'm glad. I honestly don't know why it is still so common.

^^ Exactly this! How could you hit a little kid? :(

[Sailor Mars]

Never was spanked or beaten. I usually just get my outside privileges taken and my phone taken now. If I'm being annoying or something though my dad will smack me on the back of my head or neck... Nothing like getting beaten though.

I can't stand people who physically abuse their children and then say they love them and care for them. Makes no sense :/

[Just JT]

Ive been spanked with a belt, hit or what ever with what ever was in their hand, or just their hand. As far as I'm conserned, nobody's got the right to hit or strike anyone, unles it's in self defense. A parent striking their child is abuse as far as I'm conserned. It's a tool that they use when the parents don't have the skills needed to be a proper parent and dicipline their child in a non abusive, non-violent, loving, nurturing, learning way.

[michaelb]

well not with the belt but i usually get smacked with a slipper. i agree it's crap!

[LostAndNeverFound]

I started lifting weights so my dad couldnt over power me. He use to grab me by the ear, or smack me on the head, or through things at the floo r

[Body odah Man]

I started lifting weights so my dad couldnt over power me. He use to grab me by the ear, or smack me on the head, or through things at the floo r

Nice man. I myself got spanked when I was really young, but mostly I just lost privileges.

[Ragle]

Whenever I read those threads, I always ask myself, of what percentage of shit consists the brains of parents when they resort to such things like using belts for punishment.

[birdbrain01]

I'm not saying that I enjoy getting spanked but I prefer a spanking over losing privileges. Such as being grounded or losing my phone. It's not like my mom beats me or anything but she definitely makes it count.

[pconnor2001]

We still get spanked. Dad uses the belt and mom the paddel or hairbrush. House rules are that has to be on the bare butt.

[Meron]

I was getting hit a lot until I became 13, that's when it stopped. (Obviously because I can stand up for myself now and my body size is rather imtimidating compared to my age)

But yeah, hitting your child isn't a good idea. I actually tend to/fantasize killing or imprisoning child abusers for life. Just me and my imagination I guess.

[Cadanance00]

Holden submits that the psychological community should not be advocating spanking as a discipline tool for parents.

~ Clara

I advocate spanking parents. I think it is an excellent tool for disciplining them.

[Uniquemind]

I advocate spanking parents. I think it is an excellent tool for disciplining them.

And I along with Clara don't.


I once had a childhood friend growing up whose parents spanked him. Something was really off about him...violent off.

Like we were playing cops and robbers once with the neighborhood kids and we used props like metal toy handcuffs and stuff.

Well one time I was the crook and I think he didn't understand the concept between play and real life, and so while I was in the role of the bad person and he a good guy, he cuffed me and started really beating me up.

I later learned a few months later that his parents disciplined him with spanking and I think he associated physical blows and punishment as appropriate to respond to "bad behavior or people".

Also given research about how many serial killers, rapists, and other violent criminals had parents that abused them in some way, I really don't advocate spanking.

[ClaraWho]

We still get spanked. Dad uses the belt and mom the paddel or hairbrush. House rules are that has to be on the bare butt.

This seems quite common too unfortunately, I'm not sure why the added humiliation :/. Is this to make sure that if your future partner humiliates you sexually or hits you, that you'll consider it normal? It's all just so wrong :/.

And what is the justification? 'It's to make sure it really hurts you when I hit' ?

I've spoken to a few teenagers who were hit who would never consider it appropriate to defend themselves physically, because as children that was beaten out of them :/.


I advocate spanking parents. I think it is an excellent tool for disciplining them.

Heheh :D I see what you did there :rolleyes: . Do you insist on a bare backside and use a paddle too?

In the midst of all this rightly passionate seriousness I think your joke got lost, which is understandable, but still xD.

~ Clara

[Jinglebottom]

How could anyone hit a child under the pretext of disciplining them? No one ever laid a finger on me, at most I'd get grounded for a few days.

[Atlantis]

I just don't get it. Why would parents want to hurt their own children? Surely a better way would be to educate them, go to them and say 'that's wrong and you shouldn't do it again'.

At least the belt, in my opinion, doesn't seem so bad as some of the things that I've seen on the television.

[nekid]

I used to be spanked but just with a hand on my bare butt, now I get grounded

[michaelb]

I used to be spanked but just with a hand on my bare butt, now I get grounded
I think that being spanked like this as a kid is quite normal i mean it's ok, but not as a teen i mean wtf is the purpose??? plus at our age we're totally grown up for this f***** bare butt thing

[nekid]

I think that being spanked like this as a kid is quite normal i mean it's ok, but not as a teen i mean wtf is the purpose??? plus at our age we're totally grown up for this f***** bare butt thing

I do think it's strange to be spanked when you get older, especially on the bare butt. None of my friends get spanked anymore

[erik2000]

How many of you get the belt when you get spanked? I do
How old were you when you stopped getting spanked?I still get at 16
If you don't get spanked with the belt what do your parents use? Cane

[Living For Love]

Please don't bump old threads. :locked: