No idea what to do

[James_Wilson]

Me and this girl had an amazing thing. She decided to end it due to the fact that she "is better off single" and "bad at relationships". I told her i understand and that its fine. We were best friends and we stopped talking after we broke up. She's after dating 2 other guys since that so clearly she lied to me. It's 4 months later and, I'm not at all over her. I need closure. Any tips?

[SethfromMI]

well, try to realize as painful as it might have been for you, she was not the one for you. if she was unhappy, it would only have been a matter of time before you would have been unhappy as well

[holly6]

You'll find someone better someday and time will heal eventually trust me

[Melodic]

I've had breakups that took me 6 months-1 year to get over. I've had breakups that has taken me a few weeks to get over. You two had a special connection and it will be a little harder to get past. Don't be hard on yourself that you're still not over the breakup.

[audiophile5]

I've had breakups that took me 6 months-1 year to get over. I've had breakups that has taken me a few weeks to get over. You two had a special connection and it will be a little harder to get past. Don't be hard on yourself that you're still not over the breakup.

That's true, some people you get over without a lot of effort, while there are break ups that you never seem to get over. But in time, you do. It'll be hard in the beginning, but eventually things will change. There's a beautiful book called When Nietzsche wept by Irvin Yalom that approaches this matter.

For me, the first few months were terrible - I was grateful I had a super busy schedule that kept my mind off things for most of the day. But slowly I started drifting off into this numbness, and after a couple of more months, I started shaking this numbness off too. But yeah, it takes a lot of time sometimes and it's both frustrating and saddening, especially if it feels like this pain is the only connection you have left with that person and being happy again means letting go of all that you used to be. But that's not how it is, trust me.


You should watch Buzzfeed's video 13 stages of getting over the one that got away on youtube - it's really sweet and captures the process quite well.

[ClaraWho]

The fact she has burnt through 2 other guys within 4 months would indeed prove she is bad at relationships. It sounds like she's looking for something from somebody else, when really she needs to fix herself.

Break ups are rough though, it's a form of grieving. It takes time, but socialising is important.

~ Clara

[Uniquemind]

The fact she has burnt through 2 other guys within 4 months would indeed prove she is bad at relationships. It sounds like she's looking for something from somebody else, when really she needs to fix herself.

Break ups are rough though, it's a form of grieving. It takes time, but socialising is important.

~ Clara

But we don't know the specifics of those other relationships. Maybe the two guys later were just sexual ones, aka: flings.

Spring and summer flings are common.

[Derek951]

Just Pleeeeeease don't say you hope to get back together with her. Just from the few details you gave, it's not going to happen. Personally, I think it's better to not stay friends after a break up, or at the very least not immediately after. That said, wish I had the magic answer about how to move on.

[ClaraWho]

But we don't know the specifics of those other relationships. Maybe the two guys later were just sexual ones, aka: flings.

Spring and summer flings are common.

You know that I'm going to call you out on conjecture and say that 'common' claim is unsubstantiated.

I'm not sure how them being sexual changes anything I said, as that clearly shows an unstable pattern and mindset too?

~ Clara

[Bontigo Papi .]

I feel your pain , had a girl that to me too but I've cut her off and man , I'm really happy ... Just cut her off .

[Just JT]

Breakups like that are tough. Some people just grow apart. I was with my BF for about a year now and now we're kinda like not now. And it sucks. We were best friends. Still really close though..

I'd look at it like this. If you were best friends maybe she just didnt wana potentially hurt you any more and thought this was the way. Not that it makes it any easier but still....if she cares and likes you enough she may not wana say all the truth or prolong what she knows isn't good for her and hurt you more later

So just try and move on and just be friends if you can. If you can't then you can't. Emotional shit is the worst. It sucks. I feel for ya bro

[Uniquemind]

You know that I'm going to call you out on conjecture and say that 'common' claim is unsubstantiated.

I'm not sure how them being sexual changes anything I said, as that clearly shows an unstable pattern and mindset too?

~ Clara

My comment wasn't really rebutting yours, rather it was supplemental to it.

I wouldn't say one was bad at relationships, if the premise in their mind was to have a few rebound flings due to whatever internal grieving process they follow.

Also since we aren't talking to this girl directly, rather we're hearing information about her via her Ex, a lot of what we are doing is conjecture to be fair.