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View Full Version : Did I Screw Up?


redrider12
April 22nd, 2016, 01:12 PM
So years ago (I'm a senior in high school now, this happened freshman year), I was using this app called Fess, which was basically just an anonymous confession platform for high schoolers. It was limited to 140 characters, and one could like and comment on people's statuses and send DMs. I used it religiously - almost every hour.
And I met a lot of great people on that app. A lot of them I got Kik names from and tried to keep in contact with as best I could. With the busy part of high school pretty much gone for me, I decided to pick it back up and see who was still around.
So there's this girl, call her Kaleb. On a whim, I messaged her and she remembered me. And we started talking a lot - to the tune of every day. And she is a very pretty girl. After a while, I began to see some holes in her statements, and eventually I forced it from her that she had a boyfriend.

Anyway. So we still talked a lot. She lives 2000mi from me, and all we've ever known has been Kik. I never viewed out talking as anything more than being friends (no flirting or sexting). I've never seen an issue with talking to other sexes while in a relationship provided that you can trust your partner not to do anything which crosses the friend line. She did, but she talked to me anyway.

Last night, she was very late about texting me. I was getting scared.
She texted me in tears. She had just been with her boyfriend, who had been talking to her about trust. She broke down and told him everything about my and her talking. And evidently he flipped shit. The first picture she sent me was her face, with a hardcore black eye that wasn't there yesterday and a red cheek. As soon as he learned that she had another friend, he hit her repeatedly. Her rationale was mine - that you can have other FRIENDS. And she was in tears.

I feel terrible. Because of what I told her and what I believed, my friend had gotten beaten. Because she told him she had a friend, she got a black eye.
I like to think this was all my fault for talking to her period - would this be a correct assumption? I'm a wreck right now from the whole ordeal

Vermilion
April 22nd, 2016, 01:54 PM
It's not your fault. And it's neither is hers. It's her bf being a complete thug.

Microcosm
April 23rd, 2016, 06:13 PM
redrider12,

Girls have the right to choose who their friends are. If she wants to keep you as a friend, her boyfriend shouldn't stop her. You did nothing wrong, man. You never flirted with her when you knew she had a boyfriend and you stayed friends.

It's her boyfriend's fault. It's fucked up what he did. It's abusive of him and it's absolutely not your fault.

You could tell her to call the police for that sort of shit. That's assault and that guy needs to be punished. She doesn't deserve that just for texting a guy as a friend.

Makes me angry thinking about it, but you just know it is not your fault at all.

ethan-s
May 2nd, 2016, 08:46 PM
That's not your fault. Call the cops on his punkass.

Body odah Man
May 3rd, 2016, 02:04 AM
So years ago (I'm a senior in high school now, this happened freshman year), I was using this app called Fess, which was basically just an anonymous confession platform for high schoolers. It was limited to 140 characters, and one could like and comment on people's statuses and send DMs. I used it religiously - almost every hour.
And I met a lot of great people on that app. A lot of them I got Kik names from and tried to keep in contact with as best I could. With the busy part of high school pretty much gone for me, I decided to pick it back up and see who was still around.
So there's this girl, call her Kaleb. On a whim, I messaged her and she remembered me. And we started talking a lot - to the tune of every day. And she is a very pretty girl. After a while, I began to see some holes in her statements, and eventually I forced it from her that she had a boyfriend.

Anyway. So we still talked a lot. She lives 2000mi from me, and all we've ever known has been Kik. I never viewed out talking as anything more than being friends (no flirting or sexting). I've never seen an issue with talking to other sexes while in a relationship provided that you can trust your partner not to do anything which crosses the friend line. She did, but she talked to me anyway.

Last night, she was very late about texting me. I was getting scared.
She texted me in tears. She had just been with her boyfriend, who had been talking to her about trust. She broke down and told him everything about my and her talking. And evidently he flipped shit. The first picture she sent me was her face, with a hardcore black eye that wasn't there yesterday and a red cheek. As soon as he learned that she had another friend, he hit her repeatedly. Her rationale was mine - that you can have other FRIENDS. And she was in tears.

I feel terrible. Because of what I told her and what I believed, my friend had gotten beaten. Because she told him she had a friend, she got a black eye.
I like to think this was all my fault for talking to her period - would this be a correct assumption? I'm a wreck right now from the whole ordeal

It's not her fault, neither is it yours. Her bf is just a total dick. I mean seriously, that's ridiculous. I mean, if you guys were sexting or she'd cheated on him with you, I can kind of understand why he'd flip, but over you 2 being friends? It's fucked up man