Your virginity & oral sex

[playfull-qt]

As I have said here in the past I am a virgin by choice. I do however enjoy oral sex, both giving and receiving. As I have gotten older having oral sex seems to have become a way to help preserve my virginity. Sure guys all want to get laid but it's been my experience that taking care of a guys sexual needs with blowjobs keeps them happy.

Has anyone or does anyone use oral sex to maintain their virginity?

[KingWavy]

I have a friend that does but I never could do it because I would want more lol

[jdhud024]

Ehh, I started by giving a blowjob to my friend when me and my friend were fooling around a few years back, not intending to do anything more, but that escalated to me losing my virginity pretty quickly.

[sweettayla]

Yeah, l did. lt was more to avoid getting pregnant than wanting to preserve my virginity though.

[BlackParadePixie]

In most cultures, the whole idea behind virginity is the concept of purity...how is giving a dude a blowjob or letting him go down on you any less pure then spreading your legs for him? You're still engaging in a sexual act...I don't get it.

I'm not trying to judge here or anything...but it just seems to me like some people think "oh oral sex isn't that bad..." and to someone like me, who isn't religious at all, it seems like you're just kidding yourself...or living in denial.

[iamsilkspectre]

In most cultures, the whole idea behind virginity is the concept of purity...how is giving a dude a blowjob or letting him go down on you any less pure then spreading your legs for him? You're still engaging in a sexual act...I don't get it.

I'm not trying to judge here or anything...but it just seems to me like some people think "oh oral sex isn't that bad..." and to someone like me, who isn't religious at all, it seems like you're just kidding yourself...or living in denial.

I agree. I gave oral before having genital sex, and I consider that bj the moment I lost my virginity.

[ClaraWho]

I agree. I gave oral before having genital sex, and I consider that bj the moment I lost my virginity.

Okay this just has to be said :confused: 'genital sex' as opposed to what? :D:D

I amuse myself okay?! ....

~ Clara

[Uniquemind]

Okay this just has to be said :confused: 'genital sex' as opposed to what? :D:D

I amuse myself okay?! ....

~ Clara

The answer is obviously esoteric spiritual tantric sex.

Which actually is a thing which doesn't necessarily involve touching at all. It actually focuses on the mental side of it.

[ClaraWho]

The answer is obviously esoteric spiritual tantric sex.

Which actually is a thing which doesn't necessarily involve touching at all. It actually focuses on the mental side of it.

That's me told off for being so quick to jest :P

FYI that is the most hippy, new-age sounding nonsense I have heard in a very long time :D.

Having said that, I have had a very strong orgasm from just my lover talking to me, with no touching involved at all. So maybe there is something to that :wub:

~ Clara

[sweettayla]

In most cultures, the whole idea behind virginity is the concept of purity...how is giving a dude a blowjob or letting him go down on you any less pure then spreading your legs for him? You're still engaging in a sexual act...I don't get it.

I'm not trying to judge here or anything...but it just seems to me like some people think "oh oral sex isn't that bad..." and to someone like me, who isn't religious at all, it seems like you're just kidding yourself...or living in denial.
You're right, we've probably got to a point where we taking oral sex too casually. Even in the few years since l started doing it seems to be less of a big deal nowadays, girls seem to be doing it even younger and it's almost like a kiss goodbye.

[Londongirl01]

You're right, we've probably got to a point where we taking oral sex too casually. Even in the few years since l started doing it seems to be less of a big deal nowadays, girls seem to be doing it even younger and it's almost like a kiss goodbye.

Thats so true... but being more casual about oral I don't see as a bad thing necessarily- if you're both enjoying then thats fine in my eyes x

[Uniquemind]

Thats so true... but being more casual about oral I don't see as a bad thing necessarily- if you're both enjoying then thats fine in my eyes x

Ask your dentist if he thinks it's a good thing.

When I asked mine why he has to check for oral cancer symptoms, the rise in people practicing oral sex and passing on pathogens that cause oral cancers is why.

It affects those even as young as 9 now, because oral sex is seen as hip to do and solves the emotional "to have or not to have" my virginity issue for girls.

[Londongirl01]

Ask your dentist if he thinks it's a good thing.

When I asked mine why he has to check for oral cancer symptoms, the rise in people practicing oral sex and passing on pathogens that cause oral cancers is why.

It affects those even as young as 9 now, because oral sex is seen as hip to do and solves the emotional "to have or not to have" my virginity issue for girls.

Passed on how exactly?

[kev1998]

I think it is cool that you and your bf have enough self control to stop after oral.

[ClaraWho]

Passed on how exactly?

HPV virus from both men and women. It can cause oral cancer in later life as it tends to lie dormant usually until after 30-60 yrs old. Some people have a more harmful strain of it, as it Has Become almost 'natural' in those regions, but has nothing to do with hygiene (you can't wash it away). Condoms/dental dams are the only way to really be safe if you haven't been tested/vaccinated for it, although vaccines are rare from what I have briefly read. By rare, I mean doctors in the UK aren't willing to prescribe them on the NHS for guys, or at least never mention/offer it. I'd REALLY LIKE SOMEONE TO ASK and report back! I mean, really interested!
Maybe in America or elsewhere they'd be happy to charge, but most people are unprotected (see posts below as it seems US the figure might be 40% unprotected). The risk of becoming infected with a harmful strain increases significantly after having 4 or more partners.

Here is a much more detailed link from the British National Health Service - http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/STIs/Pages/oral-sex-and-cancer.aspx

Personally I don't think any form of sex should be given 'casually' as it devalues, cheapens the act for when you find the one person you do want to be with. But that's my own preference, to keep it special and mean something. I'm not just some receptacle or means of getting off.

~ Clara

[sweettayla]

HPV, produced by both men and women. It can cause oral cancer in later life as it tends to lie dormant. Some people are higher production of it, as it is naturally occurring in those regions, but has nothing to do with hygiene. Condoms/dental dams are the only way to really be safe if you haven't been tested/vaccinated for it, although vaccines are rare from what I have briefly read. The risk increases significantly after having 4 or more partners.

Personally I don't think any form of sex should be given 'casually' as it devalues, cheapens the act for when you find the one person you do want to be with. But that's my own preference, to keep it special and mean something. I'm not just some receptacle or means of getting off.

~ Clara
By HPV, l assume you mean Human papillomavirus. Could you explain what you mean by ''some people are higher production of it, as it is naturally occurring in those regions, but has nothing to do with hygiene''
lt's not something your body produces, you become infected with it, usually by sexual contact and then pass it on to anyone you subsequently have sex with.
There are 2 vaccines, Gardasill and Cervarix, both of which must be given before you've had any sexual contact. They only give protection against some strains though and not all strains are carcinogenic.

[ClaraWho]

By HPV, l assume you mean Human papillomavirus. Could you explain what you mean by ''some people are higher production of it, as it is naturally occurring in those regions, but has nothing to do with hygiene''
lt's not something your body produces, you become infected with it, usually by sexual contact and then pass it on to anyone you subsequently have sex with.
There are 2 vaccines, Gardasill and Cervarix, both of which must be given before you've had any sexual contact. They only give protection against some strains though and not all strains are carcinogenic.

Thank you for the clarifications and for bringing me back to review my woefully poor post! Ugh. I was so not awake enough to be allowed on here haha.... Distractions and what-not :P I blame a la brother.

I have expanded on what I meant and clarified on the original post ^.

Thanks!

~ Clara

[sweettayla]

HPV virus from both men and women. It can cause oral cancer in later life as it tends to lie dormant usually until after 30-60 yrs old. Some people have a more harmful strain of it, as it Has Become almost 'natural' in those regions, but has nothing to do with hygiene (you can't wash it away). Condoms/dental dams are the only way to really be safe if you haven't been tested/vaccinated for it, although vaccines are rare from what I have briefly read. By rare, I mean doctors in the UK aren't willing to prescribe them on the NHS, or at least never mention/offer it. I'd REALLY LIKE SOMEONE TO ASK and report back! I mean, really interested!
Maybe in America or elsewhere they'd be happy to charge, but most people are unprotected. The risk of becoming infected with a harmful strain increases significantly after having 4 or more partners.

Here is a much more detailed link from the British National Health Service - http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/STIs/Pages/oral-sex-and-cancer.aspx

Personally I don't think any form of sex should be given 'casually' as it devalues, cheapens the act for when you find the one person you do want to be with. But that's my own preference, to keep it special and mean something. I'm not just some receptacle or means of getting off.

~ Clara

There are actually 170 identified strains of it, it's detected in women when they have a pap smear, that's why we have them. Men aren't tested as it's most common manifestation is genital warts and they're not fatal, cervical cancer is. You need to be vaccinated before you have ANY sexual contact.
lt's not rare, over 90% of Australian girls my age have been vaccinated. l think the US figure is around 60% and it's been on the UK NHS since 2012, whatever childhood vaccinations you get, Gardasil will be one of them.

[Zbmrnb16]

I don't use it as a way to maintain my virginity, but I agree that you remain a virgin until you feel that you aren't. It's an outdated concept, and it shouldn't matter whether or not you've had sex.

[ClaraWho]

There are actually 170 identified strains of it, it's detected in women when they have a pap smear, that's why we have them. Men aren't tested as it's most common manifestation is genital warts and they're not fatal, cervical cancer is. You need to be vaccinated before you have ANY sexual contact.
lt's not rare, over 90% of Australian girls my age have been vaccinated. l think the US figure is around 60% and it's been on the UK NHS since 2012, whatever childhood vaccinations you get, Gardasil will be one of them.

Yes, we get it at the end of primary school, but guys do not from what I can find on the NHS website, maybe a guy could chime in?

Not sure why the tone, but here is another article with more details;

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaccinations/pages/hpv-human-papillomavirus-vaccine.aspx

Also parents can opt out of getting vaccinations, and faith based schools may avoid them too. So basically don't take it as gauranteed it's safe, and promiscuity with multiple partners over time will increase risk, as stated.

~ Clara

[Roby98]

Virginity is not only about having the hymen intact.

[Jameson9]

I know some people who would do this

[SkyClad33605]

In most cultures, the whole idea behind virginity is the concept of purity...how is giving a dude a blowjob or letting him go down on you any less pure then spreading your legs for him? You're still engaging in a sexual act...I don't get it.

I'm not trying to judge here or anything...but it just seems to me like some people think "oh oral sex isn't that bad..." and to someone like me, who isn't religious at all, it seems like you're just kidding yourself...or living in denial.

Agreed.

Not having P in V sex doesn't make you any more or less pure or special than any other sexual act. Be happy with your choices and don't let others pressure you into doing or not doing things.

[Just JT]

In most cultures, the whole idea behind virginity is the concept of purity...how is giving a dude a blowjob or letting him go down on you any less pure then spreading your legs for him? You're still engaging in a sexual act...I don't get it.

I'm not trying to judge here or anything...but it just seems to me like some people think "oh oral sex isn't that bad..." and to someone like me, who isn't religious at all, it seems like you're just kidding yourself...or living in denial.


Exactly, oral is penetration, sex is sex, regardless of the kind or type. So if your doing one kind of sex to avoid another for what reason? Religious?
Not trying to be judgemental either, but is it is kinda contradictory

[Cangirl]

I sort of used it to keep my virginity longer. It was something that I thought was progressing in our relationship from making out to touching and grinding and under clothes and bjs and then sex. I think it can be something that we do to guys to keep them happy and the other thing is that we don't have to get naked or show anything if we don't want to right? So I see how it can be a thing some girls do, to keep their guy happy and satisfied if they don't want to go farther than a bj.

But I think guys after a few bjs want to do more and see more so i think it also really depends on the couple and how their relationship is.

[Thatkidsean001]

Ehh, I started by giving a blowjob to my friend when me and my friend were fooling around a few years back, not intending to do anything more, but that escalated to me losing my virginity pretty quickly.

Pretty much the same for me

[Claire Asteroid]

I've had oral sex done to me twice by a girl but I am still a virgin because it's important to me.

[Carlyj]

Have only done oral sex here. Given it twice and received once

[everlong]

I've done oral sex but not intercourse and I still consider myself a virgin, though not by choice.

[Carrie17]

I have done and still do the exact same thing. It just personally feels like a way I can be very dirty and keep my bf happy but still have something (intercourse) left to experience when I choose.

[Emerald Dream]

Let's keep this appropriate please. This forum isn't for storytelling, and posts have been deleted.

[Poontang King117]

I believe virginity is lost by consensual penetration of the the vagina or anus by a penis.

[Drew Alex]

The difficulty lies in the fact that we are dealing here with two different overlapping and competing social conventions. For most Christian people, I believe, the concept of virginity includes and presumes chastity. From that standpoint, giving your bf head or going down on your gf as a way to let off steam and preserve virginity is pretty dubious. But, according to another social convention enjoying wide acceptance, a virgin is defined as someone who has not had sexual intercourse. So, do blowjobs make you no longer a virgin? It depends on which convention you embrace. Some people may not embrace either convention, so they would answer the question, “It depends on how you define your terms.”

[Just JT]

The difficulty lies in the fact that we are dealing here with two different overlapping and competing social conventions. For most Christian people, I believe, the concept of virginity includes and presumes chastity. From that standpoint, giving your bf head or going down on your gf as a way to let off steam and preserve virginity is pretty dubious. But, according to another social convention enjoying wide acceptance, a virgin is defined as someone who has not had sexual intercourse. So, do blowjobs make you no longer a virgin? It depends on which convention you embrace. Some people may not embrace either convention, so they would answer the question, “It depends on how you define your terms.”


That's a very good question, and I think that will vary person to person depending on their beliefs
Oral sex is sex roght? Anal sex is sex, vaginal sex is sex
So I see it as when you have sex, you lose your virginity

[Just JT]

I believe virginity is lost by consensual penetration of the the vagina or anus by a penis.


Thank you!!!
Very much, I agree!!!
The key word, is consensual sex
Many people are violated to a point where they question whether they still have their virginity. Yes, it would at first thought mark that person has lost it, how ever, being raped is not sex.

Just wanted to throw that out there, because for someone to say the same lost their virginity at say like 8 might be a bit embarrassing or hard to explain, that's all

[Drew Alex]

Thank you!!!
Very much, I agree!!!
The key word, is consensual sex
Many people are violated to a point where they question whether they still have their virginity. Yes, it would at first thought mark that person has lost it, how ever, being raped is not sex.

Just wanted to throw that out there, because for someone to say the same lost their virginity at say like 8 might be a bit embarrassing or hard to explain, that's all

Absolutely, rape is not sex. I didn't even think of going there in the discussion.

[ClaraWho]

I believe virginity is lost by consensual penetration of the the vagina or anus by a penis.

Will this thread ever end...

So a married lesbian coupled who make love regularly will pass away as virgins? Lol

~ Clara

[playfull-qt]

I think that what I should have asked when I started this post is does anyone else use oral sex as a way to not get pregnant?

[sweettayla]

Will this thread ever end...

So a married lesbian coupled who make love regularly will pass away as virgins? Lol

~ Clara
No such thing as a married lesbian couple where l'm from. In answer to your question though, yes they would.

[sweettayla]

I think that what I should have asked when I started this post is does anyone else use oral sex as a way to not get pregnant?

There's nothing wrong with your question, some people just seem confused as to what society as constitutes virginity.

[Uniquemind]

That's why my view of virginity is very clear.

For me a virgin, is someone who has not performed any physical action, that allows for any sexual pathogen to affect their body and cause disease and/or begin to shape their perceptions of what they will like/dislike sexually.

Virginity matters, but not to the extreme society makes it out to be.

Just to contrast, while strict, notice how my view of the issue, does not have the same gray areas other definitions or opinions on the issue has? It provides closure to the topic that makes sense logically.

[ClaraWho]

No such thing as a married lesbian couple where l'm from. In answer to your question though, yes they would.

There's nothing wrong with your question, some people just seem confused as to what society as constitutes virginity.

The fact nobody on this thread can come to a consensus about what it means proves its redundancy as a concept of anything.

And given that the reason why there is no such thing as 'married lesbian couples' is a religious one, does that mean nuns could have sex with each other given they maintain 'chastity' and 'virginity'?

I think every side of this argument has been thoroughly presented now though, perhaps mods could close the thread and the OP open a new one, albeit under a less ambiguous position.

~ Clara

[big-girls-dont-cry]

As I have said here in the past I am a virgin by choice. I do however enjoy oral sex, both giving and receiving. As I have gotten older having oral sex seems to have become a way to help preserve my virginity. Sure guys all want to get laid but it's been my experience that taking care of a guys sexual needs with blowjobs keeps them happy.

Has anyone or does anyone use oral sex to maintain their virginity?

I am afraid of getting pregnant so i give bjs

[ImJulia]

This thread is from two years ago...

[coolmatt]

I havent done any of it but if my gf said she wasnt interested in having sex and offered me a bj instead id be just as happy

[Maddie2000]

I do not believe that giving blowjobs counts as loosing your virginity but that’s just my opinion

[ashleigh7]

I do not believe that giving blowjobs counts as loosing your virginity but that’s just my opinion

I agree with Maddie.

[sofie04]

It depends how you define virginity. Oral virginity, vaginal, etc.

[hayley2003]

This thread is from two years ago...

In internet time, that is like 20 years ago. :P

[xSashax]

It’s your personal choice. I don’t see the point in preserving virginity so I don’t think about using oral to replace sex. It’s ok if that’s what you want.

[Anna Kadlecova]

I think, that if you dont have penis in vagina you are virgin. I understand what you do. I did the same with oral and anal sex.

Yes, I lost my vaginal Virginity last.

[big-girls-dont-cry]

This thread is from two years ago...

I didn't realize it was that old i replied only because it was relivant to my situation

[ImJulia]

I didn't realize it was that old i replied only because it was relivant to my situation

No worries :) I understand

[KateMarshal]

Yes, I did only oral for saving my virginity.
I stil dont have sex. And I hate idea if anal. Brr.

[Lena15]

Yes, I did only oral for saving my virginity.
I stil dont have sex. And I hate idea if anal. Brr.

100 % same like me

[ClaraPott]

No, I did both in one day.

[scott2002]

At my school, in 9th grade we were required to go to a few classes on "Relationships and Dating". I remember one thing that was presented was that HS age kids are very likely to progress to first vaginal sex within 6 months of initiating oral sex. I'm wondering how that time frame compares with what VT members have experienced.

[Pultost]

Yes, I did only oral for saving my virginity.
I stil dont have sex. And I hate idea if anal. Brr.

I agree. I don't judge those who are into it, but to me the whole idea is disgusting.

[gina_g]

Yes, I did only oral for saving my virginity.
I stil dont have sex. And I hate idea if anal. Brr.

I agree. I don't judge those who are into it, but to me the whole idea is disgusting.

I was not worried about staying "pure" and keeping my virginity. I am worried about getting pregnant so thats the real reason why i'm ok with giving a guy a bj for sexual satisfaction over intercourse.

[LITTLEANGEL19]

This thread been bumped 2 yeas, and the O/P is also banned. I think should be locked/archived.

Have A Great And Safe Weekend Everyone. Take Care You And Yours XX

[Jordan99]

I was not worried about staying "pure" and keeping my virginity. I am worried about getting pregnant so thats the real reason why i'm ok with giving a guy a bj for sexual satisfaction over intercourse.

That's understandable but, does he return the favor? I've been with my BF for four years and it started out with kissing, then heavy petting, hand jobs, then blowjobs until at 16 I felt ready for vaginal and anal sex. But, he always took care of me too like with mutual masturbation and going down on me when I gave him blowjobs. I never felt left out.

[Jordan99]

I am afraid of getting pregnant so i give bjs

OK, Angela...but does he take care of you too or are you simply giving him a BJ to take care of his needs? He should be taking care of your needs too.

[chirishlassie731]

I actually have a guy friend who will only go down on girls or get blowjobs. He wants his first time to be with a girl he really loves. it's kinda sweet.
But I have way more girl friends who only do anal to preserve their vaginal virginity

[Connordude]

I was not worried about staying "pure" and keeping my virginity. I am worried about getting pregnant so thats the real reason why i'm ok with giving a guy a bj for sexual satisfaction over intercourse.

Any guy who isn’t happy with that isn’t worthy of being with you

[Atlantis]

This thread was bumped :locked: