Should I continue this relationship?

[smoke8]

So I'm an 18 year old HS senior and I have a girlfriend who's 17 years old and she's a junior. Next year I'll be a college freshman and she'll be a senior and the college is close to her. We are quite happy together but I wonder should I continue this relationship with her next year. Seeing as I'm in college, I don't want to be seen as the creepy guy lurking around HS. It's just a year difference but still, what should I do? In my grade right now, there's an 18 year old girl going out with a 26 year old, which everyone agrees is pretty weird and I don't want to be seen like that guy or thought of as a creep.

[ClaraWho]

I think you should end it. Not because of a silly 1 year age difference, but because you clearly don't feel very strongly about her, otherwise you wouldn't be looking for a reason to end it. 1 yr doesn't = 8. 2 yrs is extremely normal as girls tend to mature mentally faster. So you'll have to find another reason to justify it.

~ Clara

[smoke8]

Well, I've discussed it with her. The main issue is me being college and her being in HS and how people always say they are different life stages. I don't want to end it, I'm just considering factors.

[RJH98]

Don't end your relationship because "people always say...". Do what you both feel is right and don't assume it'll never work out because of a 1 year difference. If it turns out to be what you think right now you can still end it then but I wouldn't end a relationship for the reason you are saying

[smoke8]

I know that, but despite what you say, we can agree that there are some things that aren't really ok/ethical.

[yeehaw]

I know that, but despite what you say, we can agree that there are some things that aren't really ok/ethical.

How is it unethical?

[RJH98]

I know that, but despite what you say, we can agree that there are some things that aren't really ok/ethical.

Such as?

[Uniquemind]

For what it's worth, I don't think it's unethical, I think the stress is a problem that society and you two made up in your heads, that ultimately will solve itself with time.

It's not illegal to continue the relationship, there's just a little social pressure involved not unlike many other things life with present.

[smoke8]

For what it's worth, I don't think it's unethical, I think the stress is a problem that society and you two made up in your heads, that ultimately will solve itself with time.

It's not illegal to continue the relationship, there's just a little social pressure involved not unlike many other things life with present.

What do you mean by social pressure btw? I guess we are concerned as people say that HS and college are different life stages.

2nd, for something unethical, it would be like say a college freshman maybe with a HS sophomore, well at least to me.

[Heyitsjustme]

I understand that being in different stages of life like that is hard, I am going through the exact same situation (I'm a senior and my boyfriend is a junior). I actually posted the same question on this forum a couple of weeks ago lol. I definitely took a lot of thought but after speaking to my boyfriend about it we both decided that any challenges were worth continuing the relationship. In short, I don't think the age/grade difference matters at all. If you really like her, then continuing your relationship should be easy, especially of you're staying close by for college right? If you're still really unsure maybe you should talk about this with her, just to see what she thinks. It sounds like you want to keep dating, and if you both feel that way I think it would be worth trying to keep your relationship going.

[Uniquemind]

What do you mean by social pressure btw? I guess we are concerned as people say that HS and college are different life stages.

2nd, for something unethical, it would be like say a college freshman maybe with a HS sophomore, well at least to me.

Social pressure is a term I use, when the majority view of a topic, urges or makes person(s) feel bad stress about personal life choices one decides to do that ultimately don't hurt anybody else.

If your relationship doesn't work out because of the normal "life stages" stuff, cross that bridge when you two arrive there. To make a premature judgement to end the relationship, robs both of you the possibility of figuring out if you're the exception and not the rule, for why the rule exists in the first place.

[smoke8]

I see what you mean but my issue is, I am turned off by the idea of older guys going after HS girls and I don't want to be lumped into the same category as those people.

[subzero4]

OP, I think you're overthinking this

[Typhlosion]

I see what you mean but my issue is, I am turned off by the idea of older guys going after HS girls and I don't want to be lumped into the same category as those people.

But you know that you aren't going after HS girls, you two met while both in HS...

I don't get it. If you were happy with her, it wouldn't matter. If it matters so much to you, why ask? You do you, man.

[Microcosm]

It sounds like you could stick with her regardless of the age difference. This sort of relationship seems totally normal to me. If you really like her, there's no need to let her go over such a thing. Finding someone you like or even love can be really tough for some people. Once you find that person and get some momentum going, it's something to be valued.

My advice is to do what makes you happy. If you are happy with her, then hold onto her. If you feel like there is definitely a future for you two and a strong relationship ahead, then hold onto her.

[Uniquemind]

I see what you mean but my issue is, I am turned off by the idea of older guys going after HS girls and I don't want to be lumped into the same category as those people.

That's not how society sees it, especially given you had pre-established history together before arbitrary legal paperwork age limits created a rift.

[smoke8]

I'm not sure if there's a stigma attached to it

[Body odah Man]

I'm not sure if there's a stigma attached to it

Who cares if there's a stigma attached to it or not? If you love her, stick with the relationship. You're not taking advantage of her and you love her and she loves you. It's totally fine

[Uniquemind]

I'm not sure if there's a stigma attached to it

Not in your case no.

[Xiao.Z]

Not unusual. Do not stop relationship due to 1 year different only for reason relationship not work. 1 year not weird. Good luck.

[smoke8]

Well as I said, my concern is me being in college and her being in HS, not the one year difference.

[Uniquemind]

Well as I said, my concern is me being in college and her being in HS, not the one year difference.

And most of our responses were "to not end the relationship for that reason".