Should I ignore my friend after they didn't show last night?

[Pulp501]

So my friend asked me to pick her up from a party yesterday and she wanted to come over and spend the night and I thought it would be fun so we made plans and she was supposed to text me the address when she wanted picked up at 10, she never texted and didn't answer me when I tried to text her, I didn't call because I figured if she wasn't texting me I probably didn't want to talk to her on the phone because of whatever was keeping her from texting me. Anyways, now she's asking to hang out and we haven't talked at all about it she just asked to hang out but I'm kind of mad and am like fuck that bitch ill ignore her if she's gonna do that but I also kind of want to hang out with someone. I don't like letting people do stuff like that to me, I always do because I'm pretty needy for friends and I feel like I need to do something to make sure she knows what she did isn't okay. Or maybe I'm overreacting?

[Freckles]

I think you at least owe it to her to find out why. Maybe there was a good reason. Then you can decide what you should do.

[West Coast Sheriff]

I would talk to her about it first to see what her logic was. Don't just hang out with her to pass the time. If you are able to forgive her after discussing it, that's differently.

[Melodic]

Actively ignoring her won't really help you in anyway. If anything, you'll just get more upset.


Talk to her about it. Even if her reasoning is wrong, it's better to confront the situation than ignore it.

[Londongirl01]

Dont ignore her- ask her why she didnt show or text but say you were worried that something might be up. If she says nothing was up then say I thought you might text to let me know.... Just an idea

[redrider12]

Ignoring her will literally only snowball the problem. If she really was avoiding you, the worst thing she can tell you is that her goal was ignoring. If not, it always helps to see both sides of an issue. Yeah, you see her as ignoring you. But you'll never know her side if you just throw in the towel

[ClaraWho]

What a very nasty way to refer to a 'friend'.

~ Clara

[Uniquemind]

What a very nasty way to refer to a 'friend'.

~ Clara

To be fair the label of friend is in question in the first place.

Hang out with them I guess, but I'd half-tease that you expect them to buy lunch after being stood up.

[ClaraWho]

To be fair the label of friend is in question in the first place.

Hang out with them I guess, but I'd half-tease that you expect them to buy lunch after being stood up.

True, but two wrongs don't come together to make a right. Sounds like frenemies.

~ Clara

[Uniquemind]

True, but two wrongs don't come together to make a right. Sounds like frenemies.

~ Clara

But if two negatives are multiplied it will result in a positive.


My point is determining right from wrong isn't the right context here.

The context I like to operate in, is what can you gain or lose by doing or not doing. How do you reach your goals and wants in life while acknowledging that you share an influence with others?

It's nice if you get along with people, but in my opinion sometimes it's not worth it, and it's appropriate to triage people from your life. Because at the end of the day right before your death bed, the only thing that matters is if you did the things in life that benefited you.


Other times it's wiser to keep those people within friendly terms, but demote their importance to you given flakiness or friction between that person.

[ClaraWho]

But if two negatives are multiplied it will result in a positive.


My point is determining right from wrong isn't the right context here.

The context I like to operate in, is what can you gain or lose by doing or not doing. How do you reach your goals and wants in life while acknowledging that you share an influence with others?

It's nice if you get along with people, but in my opinion sometimes it's not worth it, and it's appropriate to triage people from your life. Because at the end of the day right before your death bed, the only thing that matters is if you did the things in life that benefited you.


Other times it's wiser to keep those people within friendly terms, but demote their importance to you given flakiness or friction between that person.

Hah I knew you'd say that first line, dare I say you're predictable :P

Well that still is determining what is right or wrong. I mean if she means so little to him that he both internally and publicly insults or demeans her, then it's pretty obvious that he doesn't particularly like her as a person to begin with. Ergo, that's a lot of hassle to go through instead of just walking away. Which is my answer to his question :P.

~ Clara