Microcosm
April 17th, 2016, 06:07 PM
I've been having depressing thoughts lately, VT. It's tough when I start thinking about how all my friends will disappear in the end. I'm in the tenth grade right now and I have some really great friends that I would love to keep forever. They inevitably will go to college, perhaps a different college than the one I go to. There's this one girl who has been my friend since the beginning of ninth grade. I was sort of in love with her to some degree, but it never became anything. Anyways, long story short, she got a boyfriend and they're happy and I actually don't really like her so much anymore in the romantic kind of way. There are still remnants of the feeling left over, but that's what worries me.
This girl, the thought of her leaving destroys me for some reason. It could just be a phase that will pass with time, meaning I may eventually get over the fact that she will eventually leave and I'll just come to terms with it.
Luckily, no one has left yet and they won't leave for about another 2 years, and thank goodness for the internet, because that's probably how I'm going to try and keep up with everyone.
It's just so devastating to think about how all of this, these relationships I've built up throughout middle school and cultivated so far in high school, will invariably change so drastically.
There's this other kid who lives down the street from me. I used to be really good friends with him back when I was about 8 or 9 years old and through about the age of 14(I'm almost 16 now). It was a long-lasting friendship. He is about 2 or 3 years younger than me. About a year ago, he just flat out stopped talking to me--completely cut me off. He stopped responding to calls and texts. Whenever I came to his door to ask if he wanted to hang out, he'd either not answer or nonchalantly make an excuse as to why he couldn't.
It sucked, but it got me thinking about how friends come and go. It's often when you're not looking, when you're least expecting it that they end up leaving. It starts with a series of acts of ignorance for about three weeks then becomes silence, even lack of thought about each other. You just stop thinking about them so much. Then, they mostly disappear except for the memories.
Please note: I am actually happy with the friends I have now. I'm mainly just worried about the future and how I'll keep these friendships intact.
TL;DR: Loneliness sucks, and the future looks quite bleak in that regard.
If you have any advice or thoughts on this, feel free to leave them below. Thanks for reading.
This girl, the thought of her leaving destroys me for some reason. It could just be a phase that will pass with time, meaning I may eventually get over the fact that she will eventually leave and I'll just come to terms with it.
Luckily, no one has left yet and they won't leave for about another 2 years, and thank goodness for the internet, because that's probably how I'm going to try and keep up with everyone.
It's just so devastating to think about how all of this, these relationships I've built up throughout middle school and cultivated so far in high school, will invariably change so drastically.
There's this other kid who lives down the street from me. I used to be really good friends with him back when I was about 8 or 9 years old and through about the age of 14(I'm almost 16 now). It was a long-lasting friendship. He is about 2 or 3 years younger than me. About a year ago, he just flat out stopped talking to me--completely cut me off. He stopped responding to calls and texts. Whenever I came to his door to ask if he wanted to hang out, he'd either not answer or nonchalantly make an excuse as to why he couldn't.
It sucked, but it got me thinking about how friends come and go. It's often when you're not looking, when you're least expecting it that they end up leaving. It starts with a series of acts of ignorance for about three weeks then becomes silence, even lack of thought about each other. You just stop thinking about them so much. Then, they mostly disappear except for the memories.
Please note: I am actually happy with the friends I have now. I'm mainly just worried about the future and how I'll keep these friendships intact.
TL;DR: Loneliness sucks, and the future looks quite bleak in that regard.
If you have any advice or thoughts on this, feel free to leave them below. Thanks for reading.