Why does she ask me if I like her and 1 week later she says she doesnt like me.

[Riechedly]

I'm 15 year old boy and in the 9th grade.
I got rejected by a girl who I have been liking since 8th grade.
(BTW : I'm a very shy guy and didn't show much signs I liked her)
Here is my story. It's pretty long

In the 8th grade there was a girl who was staring at me, touching me doing things such as "Can I have your hand, I know a magic trick".
We had to sit according the Plan.
And she sits in front of me. But sometimes if my friend was gone who sits next to me she would then take place next to me and talk with me.
She also took my workbook to write her name with hearts around it.
And she would also take pictures of me and stalk my facebook account. (I know it since she send them to me) She would also help me with things.

And 1 day in technique class we were only with 6 people and she said to her Man friend (knows for long time)
:" You like me do you".
And he would say sarcastic :" Yeah".
Then she said to me
"you like me to do you?" And I answered
:"No not at all". And she would look sad at me. 1 week later she ask me on a date. I thought she was joking so I said Sure. Then the next day she grabbed my hand and said to her friends :"Our date was really fun". She would call me babe and saying things like "Don't stare at other girls". People tought we were a couple but she was also pretending that we were but I don't remember she ask me or I her.
And 2 weeks later she said : I wanna break up in class while everyone was working.
But we were still flirting with each other but not as frequently as before. 1 day she would ignore me and another day she would be alot around me. She was always laughing about my jokes too.

Now in 9th grade we weren't in the same class anymore but still talking it was getting less till we were ignoring each other in January but that was ca use she deleted my phone number in december ( I texted her and shs ask me who this is) I thought January I didn't like her anymore . But then begin February she was 2 with her friends and we had lunchtime (AND I'M EASILY TO SHOCK) and her 2 friends tried everytime to make me scared. And she would just laugh. I was going to the toilet. And then she came alone and she was staring at me and I stared at her for couple of seconds and all the feelings for her came back. But we still didn't really talk alot. Sometimes if she saw me she would say things like, Hey I didn't talk to you in a long time while she was watching me in the eyes, and I would only simple response with Okay. And the end

February couple of days before 1 week break she said "you miss me in class I know it", And I answered "Yes I do" Now we got 1 Week vacation
. I messaged her on facebook if she could Whatsapp me. She was just joking around with me and then
said Haha joke I'll whatsapp you.
This is the conversation

She : Hahahaha
Me : Hello
She : Suddenly you talk to me
She : After 100 years
Me: Sorry
She : I forgive you hahahaha
Me : Can you hang out?
She : HAHAHAHAHA
She : Suddenly from nowhere
Me : No Joke.
She:why so suddenly
She: Well well well
She : You ask me that at 10 Pm
She: You see me everyday at school
She : And now..
Me : Not alot
She :HAHAHAHAHA
She: (Name) Why you acting like this
Me : I don't know how did I act before
SHE : uhmmm let me think.
She : We never talk to each other
Me : I'm sorry
She : HAHAHA
SHE : But seriously
She : Are you really (name)
She : Cause I don't think so
Me : Why not?
She : Nohhh you aren't him
She : Nice Prank
She : !
Me : Showing picture of proof
She : Jajajaja I believe you.
She : Why do you suddenly wanna hangout
She : We never talk to each other
She: Suddenly you wanna hangout
Me: No but...
She : But????
Me : Why you think its a prank?
She : I think it's strange
She : (Laughing Emoji 2x)
Me : (Emoji looking above)
She : HAHAHA
SHE : HAHAHA I'm laughing so hard.
Me : Ohh dats beautiful
She : Omg, since when you talk like that.
She: Ohh dats beautiful
She : Doesn't sounds anything like (name)
Me : I don't know, puberty maybe?
She : Groooossseee
She : Doesn't sound anything like it
Me : Haha
She : You can chill with (Names a friend of her)
She : She's a really pretty girl.
Me : (Lots of laughing emojis)
She : (Lots of laughing Emojis)

( There were more smileys tho)

So monday when school started she waited for me and ask if I really wanted to date her and 1 of her friends screamed Relationship goals. I replied that I was scared and she said alright I'll be back in lunchtime. So 2 hours later she was there with a friend of her and her friend said I heard you wanted to date her. But I was so nervous I said it was a joke.
Next Monday I saw her and she said Helloooo with a big smiley and I was doing the same. Then 5pm I'm home I see she suddenly calls me. So I whatsapp her why and she said she was sorry it was a joke of (friend of her) Couple days later I was walking through the hallway and a couple of her friends saw me they were saying my name and laughing. Also her friends would look at me

1 week later I saw her alot passing by when break time
but then I would watch the other way cause I was nervous to look at her.

Tuesday she whatsapp me.

She : (Name)
And I reacted 1 hour later
Me : yeas?
She : nvm
2 days later again but I still reacted to late. Then another week later I saw her she was walking while on phone I said hello while I took her arm and walk passed her. And she said hello (name)
Then 3 hours later I saw her looking into my classroom but she didn't got any eyes on me. And then a friend of her looked into my class while smiling at me.

Then Thursday I notice she deleted me from her facebook I whatsapp her
Me : (name) Why you deleted me from facebook

(She was couple of seconds gone I think to see her facebook)
Then
She: Ohh
She : Lol
She : Idk
Me : ....
She : I didn't even post anything
She : So don't be said hahaha
Me : Okay then it's good
She : Yes Ofcourse



One week later (1 week ago) I send her a facebook request (Still not accepted) but she saw it cause right after that

She whatsapped me
She : (Name)
Me : Yes
She : I heard something
She :: But I don't know if it's true
She : So I wanna ask you.
Me: Speak
She : I want you to be honest
She: I won't laugh
Me: Alright what is it?
She : Do you have a crush on me
Me : Yes
She : Are you sarcastic?
Me : No it wasn't even a secret
She : Are you serious?
Me: Yes I am not sarcastic
She : Alright I wanna talk to you tomorrow about it
She : If I see you I'll talk to you alright?
Me: Sure it's good.

But that day nothing happend only a friend of her giving me a big smile in lunchtime.

Then I whatsapp her if she wanted to come to the exit of school tomorrow.
She said alright if I don't forget it.

Next day I ask her out. She said oh really? You mean as friends or? How long have you liked me? Why didn't you say anything? And why so suddenly? Then she said ill think about it. Then when we had math class I saw her with a friend. She was walking a couple of times looking at me

Now 1 day later ( friday) I saw her in the Bike and said hello, she said hello to me. And I bike passed her .I was talking with a friend. Then we were placing our bikes and then she was there to and then she stared at me but then walked away.

Sunday I whatsapp her (this week) If she thought about it

Conversation :
She : uhm.
She : Sorry (name) but
Me : yes
She : I unfortunately have to say no to your answer
Me : Oh that's pity
She : But there are more pretty girls like (friend of her)
Me : ....
She : ( Friend of her) is also pretty
She : Don't be sad alright?
Me : Just to be sure, you don't like me?
She : I'm sorry
Me : Good to know about it
She : I'm Sorry man
Me : It's good (IT WASN'T THO)

LIKE REALLY ""MAN""? Why man...
Next schooldays ignored her. Outside I saw my friend and he screamed my name repeatedly and 2 friends of her came and 1 was staring gross at me. And her other friend was saying hello to everyone and when she said my name she said " She still likes you". Wednesday I was walking with 2 friends to the exit I saw her staring at me. Thursday (Today) I saw her with a friend and her friend whispered hey there is (Name) but she wasn't looking at me. (Well Im not sure wasn't really paying attention

[Cadanance00]

All I can say is girls are like that.

[ClaraWho]

Sorry, I don't get the whole grade system in the Netherlands, how old are you?

You don't seem mature enough to be in a relationship, I think you should try to get out more socially and become more confident first.

I can't answer more fully until I know your age, but I can explain her behaviour entirely.

~ Clara

[Riechedly]

I said I was 15 years old

[benlodge123]

I had a friend just like this, I asked her out. Got rejected and we was friends for a while and then our friendship ended. We never spoke since. Look bud, if someone is making you sad like that then their better of not in your life. Move on, theres plenty of fish in the sea.

[ClaraWho]

Why do you claim to like this girl?

She's liked you for a long time, a year in fact. And what has she got in response? Ignored. And when she got the courage to ask you out, you laughed in her face, dismissed her feelings and told her it was all a joke. Every time. Your one word replies come off as hostile and bored of her. I mean really? 'Yes?' 'Speak', you sound really unpleasant in your convos with her, like you don't want to talk to her. This is the whole 'sending mixed signals', one minute you're being nice, the next you are really not. She's got sick and tired of it, giving up to try to move on (deleting you on Facebook, saying to just be friends).

'Girls are like that'. How is she supposed to feel when you have the emotional capacity and understanding of a teaspoon? She's repeatedly made herself vulnerable, put herself in the position you say you are scared of, and you've hurt her each and every time. I think the nicest thing you could do for this poor girl is to leave her alone. Unless you feel you can finally grow a pair and treat her a whole lot better, decide one way or another what you want (if it's not too late), and apologise profusely for being so utterly hapless.

This is a rather harsh reply but I hope you can appreciate you need to hear it.

~ Clara

[Uniquemind]

Why do you claim to like this girl?

She's liked you for a long time, a year in fact. And what has she got in response? Ignored. And when she got the courage to ask you out, you laughed in her face, dismissed her feelings and told her it was all a joke. Every time. Your one word replies come off as hostile and bored of her. I mean really? 'Yes?' 'Speak', you sound really unpleasant in your convos with her, like you don't want to talk to her. This is the whole 'sending mixed signals', one minute you're being nice, the next you are really not. She's got sick and tired of it, giving up to try to move on (deleting you on Facebook, saying to just be friends).

'Girls are like that'. How is she supposed to feel when you have the emotional capacity and understanding of a teaspoon? She's repeatedly made herself vulnerable, put herself in the position you say you are scared of, and you've hurt her each and every time. I think the nicest thing you could do for this poor girl is to leave her alone. Unless you feel you can finally grow a pair and treat her a whole lot better, decide one way or another what you want (if it's not too late), and apologise profusely for being so utterly hapless.

This is a rather harsh reply but I hope you can appreciate you need to hear it.

~ Clara

While harsh I kind of concur with this as part of the communication problem.

Both of you seemed too immature to handle a relationship, and both of you even to the present day seem out of sync, and I understand the "it's a joke" kind of backtracking because you want like confessions of feelings to be a private affair nobody's friends are involved with, but here's the truth.


If you like someone your gonna have to learn to walk that bold line of declaring those feelings and not feel shame or shyness of them.

If you feel their friends are prying, it's better to counter and ask why they're prying, and to take control of the situation confidently.

You need to know friends tend to be the go-between between the person of the crush and you. This is true for both genders.

It's also very possible that the friend she keeps mentioning that you date, confessed to her that she has a crush on you, and it's straining her friendship in a crush-triangle.

So that could be why she's removing or distancing herself from your Facebook and other socialization. Associating with you is beginning to fuel a jealousy feud that she's trying take the energy out of. She doesn't want to be a bad friend, and might justify herself in saying she at least promoted her friend to you.


Also entertain the idea she did like you, but you weren't ready and blew your chance with her, and you didn't realize when her romantic evaluation of you started and also ended. I sense that it started when she kind of took control and "dated" you and ended when she said "I want to break up". If you weren't a good partner during that time, it probably taints how good a boyfriend you'd be.



A 3rd real cynical possibility is that she does like you but her and her friends are running you through a gauntlet of immature little tests, and are observing how you handle the stress. I highly doubt this, but it is possible your being played a little bit.

[ClaraWho]

While harsh I kind of concur with this as part of the communication problem.

Both of you seemed too immature to handle a relationship, and both of you even to the present day seem out of sync, and I understand the "it's a joke" kind of backtracking because you want like confessions of feelings to be a private affair nobody's friends are involved with, but here's the truth.


If you like someone your gonna have to learn to walk that bold line of declaring those feelings and not feel shame or shyness of them.

If you feel their friends are prying, it's better to counter and ask why they're prying, and to take control of the situation confidently.

You need to know friends tend to be the go-between between the person of the crush and you. This is true for both genders.

It's also very possible that the friend she keeps mentioning that you date, confessed to her that she has a crush on you, and it's straining her friendship in a crush-triangle.

So that could be why she's removing or distancing herself from your Facebook and other socialization. Associating with you is beginning to fuel a jealousy feud that she's trying take the energy out of. She doesn't want to be a bad friend, and might justify herself in saying she at least promoted her friend to you.


Also entertain the idea she did like you, but you weren't ready and blew your chance with her, and you didn't realize when her romantic evaluation of you started and also ended. I sense that it started when she kind of took control and "dated" you and ended when she said "I want to break up". If you weren't a good partner during that time, it probably taints how good a boyfriend you'd be.



A 3rd real cynical possibility is that she does like you but her and her friends are running you through a gauntlet of immature little tests, and are observing how you handle the stress. I highly doubt this, but it is possible your being played a little bit.

I disagree most with that last comment, although I appreciated you expressed you doubted it highly, I would refute it as a possibility.

In terms of her mentioning her friend, I read that more as 'look do you really want me, and if I offer you my friend, will you turn her down for me or are you just looking for a girl?' More so than your take, but I don't deny it's a remote possibility.

~ Clara

[Riechedly]

I don't know anymore. She was the first girl I really liked. I like her since then 8th grade and I'm now in the 9th grade. I'm so ook stupid but I was so ook shy and dit know what to do with her.

I thought I never had the balls to say I like her in the 8th grade so I tried to forget her by not really giving her signals. And 2 weeks before the summer I was posting on tour class whatsapp group picture of this blond girl and she was kinda mad. But then she didn't the same with that maze runner guy and then summer came and ww haven't talk to each other. Then 2 weeks before summer ended I texted her if she knew what class she would be in. And said she missed me. I only replied : Hahahaha
And then she said her class, she wasn't in the same class ass me and she said "that's too bad but I can still make pictures of you in lunchtime" I said hahaha alright. And then bye (Mostly I say bye with alot of heart emojis)

And then she said " Only bye?" And then I replied bye with alot of presents emoji.

Summer ended and first day of school She saw me and was waving at me the whole time and I waved back. We said hello to each other the whole time if we saw each other. But then we started to talk less and I saw she deleted my number by asking who I was. So I was pretty much ignoring and in January I stopped to like her. But then suddenly February I saw her in the hall watching her right in the eyes and all the feelings came back...

[Riechedly]

But why did she texted me a week ago

I heard something but don't know it's true, I won't laugh at you and you gotten be true and then asking if I like her and I replied yes, then she replied alright let's talk about it tomorrow if I see you.

Nothing happend (Wednesday)
So Thursday I saw her and askills her out
She was like
Oh really
Why so suddenly
You mean as friends or?
How long did you like me
Why didn't you say anything
Alright I'll think about it

So Sunday I texted her if she thought about it but replied
Uhm
(Name) Sorry but
I have to unfortunately reject your >ANSWER<
(Seriously answer??)
Then she said
There are more pretty girls like (Names friend of her)
And than I ask if she likes me and said no sorry
Then I replied alright good to know
And she said sorry man..

4 questions here
Why would she say "Man"
Why would she ask me I like her and then the next week reject me and saying she doesnt like me
Why will she 1 day look at me and the other day she won't.
And why is her friend (Not the one she keeps mention) looking at me?

Sorry I'm so confused
And the friend that she keeps mentioning, has already a boyfriend and her friend can only date Muslims and sometimes she will be rude against me so no chance.

[Riechedly]

In the 8th grade we didn't really dated and we didn't had a relationship but she was pretending that we were for 2 weeks

But please can someone tell me to get her back.
I really like me. But she rejected me and says no when I ask if she likes me

I know I hurtled her too much but I didn't know that I never felt this kinda feeling to a girl. But now I'm getting to know much more. But Reay wanna have her back

She's my first love and I don't have any sexual thoughts of her

[ClaraWho]

In the 8th grade we didn't really dated and we didn't had a relationship but she was pretending that we were for 2 weeks

But please can someone tell me to get her back.
I really like me. But she rejected me and says no when I ask if she likes me

I know I hurtled her too much but I didn't know that I never felt this kinda feeling to a girl. But now I'm getting to know much more. But Reay wanna have her back

She's my first love and I don't have any sexual thoughts of her

I've explained everything you've posted succintly and in detail, posting more of the same isn't going to get a different reply. Please refer back to my original response in answer to every question you have.

It seems you should wait a few years before dating anyone. And if you don't have any sexual thoughts about her, that's friendship love rather than romantic love. It may come as a shock but people actually kinda really wanna get physically close to the one they love..... :wub:

Seriously bruh. Let her go for a few years.

~ Clara

[Riechedly]

I mean with sexual thoughts I don't wanna have sex with her yet.

Ofcourse I would like to hug and to kiss her grab her hands.

But how can I get this girl.

After she said she didnt like me and also rejected me

[Uniquemind]

I mean with sexual thoughts I don't wanna have sex with her yet.

Ofcourse I would like to hug and to kiss her grab her hands.

But how can I get this girl.

After she said she didnt like me and also rejected me

The best thing you can do is be patent and back off.

If you can't resist you can for one LAST time request to talk with her one on one and go over a complete explanation of your behavior and regrets with why you didn't tell her sooner or gave mixed messages for the past 2 years. Tell her you thought you got vibes from her that maybe she liked you too back then, but you weren't sure so you ended up giving mixed signals as long as you were in public.

You could be more honest with her and explain why in the past you gave mixed signals, and that if her answer is still no, with her now understanding the full back story, and that you aren't some player, that you genuinely like her and that's why you can't go after "her friend".

However if she says no, don't try to bargain with it, don't judge her for rejecting you, treat it like a business deal, and say okay and walk away done with the issue.

However if she changes her answer and says "yes okay let's try this" you need to be prepared for a physical relationship and you need to make rules and explain personal boundaries of how far you are comfortable going as an individual, and both of you should be open to STD tests regularly regardless if each other's declared monogamous devotion toward each other....cuz the reality is people lie and cheat and then spread those things around. Just create that as a rule upfront at the start of the relationship. And define what cheating is and what isn't based on what's practical.

Point out that school will MAKE each other associate with the opposite sex for group projects and stuff and that should be considered cheating because it's unrealistic to expect that level of separation from other boys or girls.

[Riechedly]

Is she saying no cause to all the bad stuff I've done to her?

Cause 1 week ago she ask if I liked her, she thought I was joking around but I said I was serious she wanted to talk about it tho. But nothing happend
So I ask her out and her reply was ill think about it. And nSunday she rejected me and I ask if she likes me and replied no sorry man

Why would she do this....

[Uniquemind]

Is she saying no cause to all the bad stuff I've done to her?

Cause 1 week ago she ask if I liked her, she thought I was joking around but I said I was serious she wanted to talk about it tho. But nothing happend
So I ask her out and her reply was ill think about it. And nSunday she rejected me and I ask if she likes me and replied no sorry man

Why would she do this....

Tip of advice is do not dwell on answering why someone rejects you after an honest effort.

Perhaps she likes being flirty in general for the fun of it but in a serious way might not be into you seriously.

[Riechedly]

Any other options.
Cause she isn't doing so much effort to drop hints. Even her friends know what's happening between us

[Uniquemind]

Any other options.
Cause she isn't doing so much effort to drop hints. Even her friends know what's happening between us


Then back off and just move on.