Inoh
April 5th, 2016, 10:05 PM
Okay, so I guess I'll start with how I met him. I'm gay, 16 and at the beggining of the year I looked up the list of students that were entering my school this year (Here in Brazil, school starts in February). I ended up making a Facebook group with everyone I found and he was one of them. I'll call him Thawne ('cause his name is spelled almost the same way). He eventually gave me the nickname 'the Humble' since I once refused an iPhone for an Android. He was moving in from another state, but he "lived" at school during weekdays and he went home for the weekend. I accidentally told him about my blog, which is basically a place were I wrote everything that happened during a specific day, since last August and a few close friends know about it. He asked me the link but I told him it was kinda personal. He then told me he had just found the blog but he wouldn't read since it was personal. A couple days later, I said he could read it if he wanted to and he said he would. So first day of school we met (though I didn't recognize him). Since my blog mentions the fact that I'm gay, I thought he'd try to avoid me or something but he was cool with it, he sat with me and my friends at lunch and etc. He eventually became a good friend in little time and never forgot my nickname haha. Everything was fine until March 7th.
It was a Monday and I only had class 'till noon (normally I had class 'till 17:30) but when everyone was getting on the bus I felt as if I should stay, for some reason. I thought it was strange, but I stayed anyway and eventually went to the library to do some home work. Thawne and a couple of friends eventually showed up and he ended up falling asleep over a book. When he woke up he said he hadn't read my blog yet and he was going to start. I decided it was better to get out of the library for a while and told him I'd be back. I thought he wouldn't be there when I came back but he was just using my PC. Later, during the afternoon lunch, he told me he had decided he was going to move away, back to where he came from, and was surprised to know that I already knew, since he had only told one person (I was the second) he also told me that there was a complicated reason for him to make this decision, but didn't say exactly why.
The next day I was kinda sad with a bunch of things, but suddenly I felt something that I can't describe that just made me ridiculously happy. The day after that, Thawne told me he had read the entire blog which has about 60 posts and almost all of them are kinda long. That same week I realized I had feelings for Thawne which was strange, I didn't know him that much and I tried my best not to fall in love with anyone since I thought it wasn't worth it (Note: I never kissed or dated anyone).
I decided that I would stay at school for the afternoon next Monday again (March 14) which by coincidence, was my birthday. That day we spent almost the entire afternoon talking about many subjects, I tried to explain the Matrix trilogy, he said he wanted to be a feline so he could sleep almost all day and wouldn't have to think, because thinking is too painful (I immediately remembered his status "Welcome to real life, it sucks! You'll love it" ) and much more. Later another friend of his had some issues to discuss with Thawne and he asked me to stick with them. Since I didn't want to know stuff about other peoples life I put my earphones on and looked through my phone's photos. They jokingly asked me to pay attention to them and I asked if I should, Thawne said yes and his friend said no. Thawne told him he could trust me. They continued talking and I still didn't pay much attention and eventually Thawne's friend asked if I'm gay and Thawne said "This guy? Are you kidding, he's dated some of the hottest girls in school, they're all falling for him". That Wednesday I also didn't have class during the afternoon, but I stayed at school again and hung around with him and other friends of mine who decided to stay during the afternoon. That same week was his birthday by the way (March 17, 15 years old) but after that week, I barely talked to him.
I did talk a bit with him on a few occasions, but it was as if either I was always avoiding him, or he was always avoiding me. Though he still lives at school during weekdays, he started taking the bus to a friend's house every Monday afternoon. March 14 I had asked him how long until he moved away and he said "about two months" and I took the opportunity to tell him I was having my birthday party during the first week of April (every other weekend I was occupied ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) and I asked him to see if he could go and he said he would. Last week I told him I had to change the date again to this Saturday, and he only said "Okay" and last Friday we talked one more time were he asked me why did I have a purple lipstick mark on my cheek, but it was only a close girl friend who knows I'm gay.
Yesterday (Monday) I was talking to this girl and told her about the plans for the birthday and all and mentioned Thawne going. She said there was no way he was going to my birthday 'cause he's moving away this weekend. I just said "Oh" but I'm feeling kinda... heartbroken? I don't know, I'm feeling stupid for letting myself fall for someone, but I can't help it, there's wasn't anything I could've done to avoid all of this happening. Now I'm thinking of telling him. It's going to lift a weight off my shoulders and his reaction won't really matter since I'll probably never see him again (that's actually sad to think). So, I know it's pretty long, but what do you all think? Should I tell him, or is he better off never knowing (P.S I'm Brazillian and my english is kinda rusty, so sorry for anything that doesn't make sense).
It was a Monday and I only had class 'till noon (normally I had class 'till 17:30) but when everyone was getting on the bus I felt as if I should stay, for some reason. I thought it was strange, but I stayed anyway and eventually went to the library to do some home work. Thawne and a couple of friends eventually showed up and he ended up falling asleep over a book. When he woke up he said he hadn't read my blog yet and he was going to start. I decided it was better to get out of the library for a while and told him I'd be back. I thought he wouldn't be there when I came back but he was just using my PC. Later, during the afternoon lunch, he told me he had decided he was going to move away, back to where he came from, and was surprised to know that I already knew, since he had only told one person (I was the second) he also told me that there was a complicated reason for him to make this decision, but didn't say exactly why.
The next day I was kinda sad with a bunch of things, but suddenly I felt something that I can't describe that just made me ridiculously happy. The day after that, Thawne told me he had read the entire blog which has about 60 posts and almost all of them are kinda long. That same week I realized I had feelings for Thawne which was strange, I didn't know him that much and I tried my best not to fall in love with anyone since I thought it wasn't worth it (Note: I never kissed or dated anyone).
I decided that I would stay at school for the afternoon next Monday again (March 14) which by coincidence, was my birthday. That day we spent almost the entire afternoon talking about many subjects, I tried to explain the Matrix trilogy, he said he wanted to be a feline so he could sleep almost all day and wouldn't have to think, because thinking is too painful (I immediately remembered his status "Welcome to real life, it sucks! You'll love it" ) and much more. Later another friend of his had some issues to discuss with Thawne and he asked me to stick with them. Since I didn't want to know stuff about other peoples life I put my earphones on and looked through my phone's photos. They jokingly asked me to pay attention to them and I asked if I should, Thawne said yes and his friend said no. Thawne told him he could trust me. They continued talking and I still didn't pay much attention and eventually Thawne's friend asked if I'm gay and Thawne said "This guy? Are you kidding, he's dated some of the hottest girls in school, they're all falling for him". That Wednesday I also didn't have class during the afternoon, but I stayed at school again and hung around with him and other friends of mine who decided to stay during the afternoon. That same week was his birthday by the way (March 17, 15 years old) but after that week, I barely talked to him.
I did talk a bit with him on a few occasions, but it was as if either I was always avoiding him, or he was always avoiding me. Though he still lives at school during weekdays, he started taking the bus to a friend's house every Monday afternoon. March 14 I had asked him how long until he moved away and he said "about two months" and I took the opportunity to tell him I was having my birthday party during the first week of April (every other weekend I was occupied ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) and I asked him to see if he could go and he said he would. Last week I told him I had to change the date again to this Saturday, and he only said "Okay" and last Friday we talked one more time were he asked me why did I have a purple lipstick mark on my cheek, but it was only a close girl friend who knows I'm gay.
Yesterday (Monday) I was talking to this girl and told her about the plans for the birthday and all and mentioned Thawne going. She said there was no way he was going to my birthday 'cause he's moving away this weekend. I just said "Oh" but I'm feeling kinda... heartbroken? I don't know, I'm feeling stupid for letting myself fall for someone, but I can't help it, there's wasn't anything I could've done to avoid all of this happening. Now I'm thinking of telling him. It's going to lift a weight off my shoulders and his reaction won't really matter since I'll probably never see him again (that's actually sad to think). So, I know it's pretty long, but what do you all think? Should I tell him, or is he better off never knowing (P.S I'm Brazillian and my english is kinda rusty, so sorry for anything that doesn't make sense).