yeehaw
April 5th, 2016, 12:28 PM
I'm not sure if this is the right place, like I say with almost every thread I start. But I guess this will do for now unless it's moved. This isn't exactly a pressing issue that I need advice with, I just need to tell someone about it who isn't going to judge me or blame me for it. Thanks :)
So, it's kind of a long story. I feel like I will type a lot, but here goes.
For most of last year (mid December 2014 until mid November 2015) I used to be very close to an internet friend, I met him through our love of video games, we'll be mentioning him a lot so we'll name him L (definitely not referencing Death Note??). Through L, I met lots of other friends and we all used to be a massive group, but I never used to speak to them as I spoke to the guy I am discussing in this thread. At first, we would spend hours talking about anime, video games, our theories on life every day until 3am every night (morning?). I wasn't physically attracted as such - his genetics were not very kind to him - but I felt like I related a lot to him and our opinions on society were almost exactly the same. Plus, we had the exact same taste in music, which was great for me because a lot of my friends don't/didn't like the music I listened to and it felt awkward to discuss or to listen to music with them.
About a month went by and L started to make a lot of moves on me, saying that he'd never met a girl like me, and that he loved me very much. Now, until that point I'd lacked very little attention from the opposite gender due to the fact I was very shy, too shy infact to talk to the boys at my school, and that I had had a crush on this guy who I had no utter chance with at all. I didn't want to lose him as a friend, and I felt like I would lose him if I turned him down. So me being the awkward person I am I said yes even though I had no feelings for him.
L was a very clingy guy, and he would start to worry if I hadn't replied to his messages or his calls even though I had a lot of studying and homework projects to do at that time, and I used to go to study sessions and it didn't give me a lot of time to talk to him and it didn't make him happy at all. He would be scared if I went out with friends, saying that I could get harmed or my friends would take me away from him and therefore would not let me leave or attend my study sessions. I didn't exactly realise this until I stopped talking to him entirely. He would also restrain what I wore or what I said, i.e. "you're really wearing that?" "that looks disgusting, change" "don't talk like that to me" and you're probably thinking, 'well he lived far away, surely you can just do what you like?' but no, me being the utter idiot I am I just obeyed him and did what he told me to. This was really kept under wraps and was quite minor. Around March-time, there was a big blow-up with our friendship group, including some of them hacking L's Microsoft account and deleting all of his data which was probably worth about, I don't know, £250 (roughly $350)? All because they didn't like him. Me feeling sorry for him, I didn't take sides in the argument that they had and I was still allowed to communicate between both of the groups. Well, only me and the eldest of the group (now my current bf :D) still talked to L much to the rest to the group's dismay.
Now, due to school/home stress, I felt like I couldn't put up with his pressing demands and I broke off the relationship I had with him. Most of my friends would no longer talk to me (because I wasn't allowed to) and my other internet group seemed to dislike me, so I was pretty much on my own. This was a massive down in my life, and my self-esteem took a large nose-dive. I got bullied at school, stress at home, and my projects never seemed to end. The teachers never seemed to like me much either, they would lumber me with extension tasks and extra homework and I would have to tutor some of the less-able people in my class in my own time. I just didn't feel happy at all, so I reached back out to L for mental support. He took me back in with (metaphorical) open arms and promised that things would get better, but they didn't. Things seemed to pile up more and this guy would basically torment me and just pile on the stress, but at the time I thought it was doing me good. Even that eldest guy in the group would question him about how I was doing and that I never seemed to be online anymore but L would just shrug it off like "oh she's fine" and wouldn't tell him much else.
Oops. I've written a lot. I promise I'll try and close it back up now. Haha
After coping with several more months of this, lots of nights crying my self to sleep, constantly self harming and trying to kill myself a couple of times, I hit yet another nose-dive. I reached out to the eldest guy, and we began to talk. I told him everything that had happened with my life until that point in time, including L messing me up, along with my broken-home childhood and how I was bullied and I was pretty much depressed. He would listen to me for hours and hours as I told him every single detail. After about a month and a half, he said he had had enough and we both confronted L before completely removing him from every piece of social media we had, getting rid of messages, and basically forgetting about him. At first it was hard, but with that guy's support I seemed to get happier and more optimistic. I stopped self-harming, and I managed to pick myself up and get my life back in shape. My grades got back up again, I made a lot of new friends and I was just forgetting about the last few months THEN
I got a message from one of L's best friends in real life around January this year. Me and him were friends and he supported the fact that I had removed him from my life because he was basically obsessed with me and it affected his study too. He said that it was L through his friend's account. Naturally, I got scared to talk to him and I would message very little, but I softened a little. He told me about how he had been in hospital for a couple weeks because he had tried to kill himself and self harm multiple times and how his life was also going downhill, like he had become addicted to alcohol and smoking weed and how he was failing all of his classes at school (he used to get straight A's). After a while, I said good night to him, and told the eldest guy (who had recently became my bf at that time) all of the conversation, with screenshots and everything. He said it was all lies, because his brother spoke to L over Xbox most days of the week so it would have been impossible for him to be in hospital. I got very angered by it, and around February-time I had just got a new message from him (through his friend's account) saying he wanted to talk to me in order to clear some thoughts. Me being spiteful I instantly declined with no justification. He then said (actually quoting the message here): "The last time we spoke properly before you blocked my accounts it ended in fire, so I'm going to say this now so that it doesn't end that way, goodbye, for good this time". It seemed like an act, so I just said a simple "Ok". I haven't heard from him since, so that seems to be the end of it. Who knows?
This took AGES to write out, and to anyone who's read all of it, I'm very thankful. I don't really seem to want much advice because it's been and gone, but what would you have done if it was me? Would you have done anything differently? Should I really expect anything else? What do you think of L?
Again, thank you very much, lots of love :') ♡
So, it's kind of a long story. I feel like I will type a lot, but here goes.
For most of last year (mid December 2014 until mid November 2015) I used to be very close to an internet friend, I met him through our love of video games, we'll be mentioning him a lot so we'll name him L (definitely not referencing Death Note??). Through L, I met lots of other friends and we all used to be a massive group, but I never used to speak to them as I spoke to the guy I am discussing in this thread. At first, we would spend hours talking about anime, video games, our theories on life every day until 3am every night (morning?). I wasn't physically attracted as such - his genetics were not very kind to him - but I felt like I related a lot to him and our opinions on society were almost exactly the same. Plus, we had the exact same taste in music, which was great for me because a lot of my friends don't/didn't like the music I listened to and it felt awkward to discuss or to listen to music with them.
About a month went by and L started to make a lot of moves on me, saying that he'd never met a girl like me, and that he loved me very much. Now, until that point I'd lacked very little attention from the opposite gender due to the fact I was very shy, too shy infact to talk to the boys at my school, and that I had had a crush on this guy who I had no utter chance with at all. I didn't want to lose him as a friend, and I felt like I would lose him if I turned him down. So me being the awkward person I am I said yes even though I had no feelings for him.
L was a very clingy guy, and he would start to worry if I hadn't replied to his messages or his calls even though I had a lot of studying and homework projects to do at that time, and I used to go to study sessions and it didn't give me a lot of time to talk to him and it didn't make him happy at all. He would be scared if I went out with friends, saying that I could get harmed or my friends would take me away from him and therefore would not let me leave or attend my study sessions. I didn't exactly realise this until I stopped talking to him entirely. He would also restrain what I wore or what I said, i.e. "you're really wearing that?" "that looks disgusting, change" "don't talk like that to me" and you're probably thinking, 'well he lived far away, surely you can just do what you like?' but no, me being the utter idiot I am I just obeyed him and did what he told me to. This was really kept under wraps and was quite minor. Around March-time, there was a big blow-up with our friendship group, including some of them hacking L's Microsoft account and deleting all of his data which was probably worth about, I don't know, £250 (roughly $350)? All because they didn't like him. Me feeling sorry for him, I didn't take sides in the argument that they had and I was still allowed to communicate between both of the groups. Well, only me and the eldest of the group (now my current bf :D) still talked to L much to the rest to the group's dismay.
Now, due to school/home stress, I felt like I couldn't put up with his pressing demands and I broke off the relationship I had with him. Most of my friends would no longer talk to me (because I wasn't allowed to) and my other internet group seemed to dislike me, so I was pretty much on my own. This was a massive down in my life, and my self-esteem took a large nose-dive. I got bullied at school, stress at home, and my projects never seemed to end. The teachers never seemed to like me much either, they would lumber me with extension tasks and extra homework and I would have to tutor some of the less-able people in my class in my own time. I just didn't feel happy at all, so I reached back out to L for mental support. He took me back in with (metaphorical) open arms and promised that things would get better, but they didn't. Things seemed to pile up more and this guy would basically torment me and just pile on the stress, but at the time I thought it was doing me good. Even that eldest guy in the group would question him about how I was doing and that I never seemed to be online anymore but L would just shrug it off like "oh she's fine" and wouldn't tell him much else.
Oops. I've written a lot. I promise I'll try and close it back up now. Haha
After coping with several more months of this, lots of nights crying my self to sleep, constantly self harming and trying to kill myself a couple of times, I hit yet another nose-dive. I reached out to the eldest guy, and we began to talk. I told him everything that had happened with my life until that point in time, including L messing me up, along with my broken-home childhood and how I was bullied and I was pretty much depressed. He would listen to me for hours and hours as I told him every single detail. After about a month and a half, he said he had had enough and we both confronted L before completely removing him from every piece of social media we had, getting rid of messages, and basically forgetting about him. At first it was hard, but with that guy's support I seemed to get happier and more optimistic. I stopped self-harming, and I managed to pick myself up and get my life back in shape. My grades got back up again, I made a lot of new friends and I was just forgetting about the last few months THEN
I got a message from one of L's best friends in real life around January this year. Me and him were friends and he supported the fact that I had removed him from my life because he was basically obsessed with me and it affected his study too. He said that it was L through his friend's account. Naturally, I got scared to talk to him and I would message very little, but I softened a little. He told me about how he had been in hospital for a couple weeks because he had tried to kill himself and self harm multiple times and how his life was also going downhill, like he had become addicted to alcohol and smoking weed and how he was failing all of his classes at school (he used to get straight A's). After a while, I said good night to him, and told the eldest guy (who had recently became my bf at that time) all of the conversation, with screenshots and everything. He said it was all lies, because his brother spoke to L over Xbox most days of the week so it would have been impossible for him to be in hospital. I got very angered by it, and around February-time I had just got a new message from him (through his friend's account) saying he wanted to talk to me in order to clear some thoughts. Me being spiteful I instantly declined with no justification. He then said (actually quoting the message here): "The last time we spoke properly before you blocked my accounts it ended in fire, so I'm going to say this now so that it doesn't end that way, goodbye, for good this time". It seemed like an act, so I just said a simple "Ok". I haven't heard from him since, so that seems to be the end of it. Who knows?
This took AGES to write out, and to anyone who's read all of it, I'm very thankful. I don't really seem to want much advice because it's been and gone, but what would you have done if it was me? Would you have done anything differently? Should I really expect anything else? What do you think of L?
Again, thank you very much, lots of love :') ♡