Feeling Inadiquate

[Beach_Blonde]

Does anyone's parents make them feel like their not good enough. Like on purpose or on accident?

Here lately my mom just seems to make me feel like I have failed some how, like I am not good enough. My sister sees it too and doesnt really say anything. I thought about talking to my dad but Idk what to do.

I mean there has been a lot that has happened to me, and I know it's not easier but I feel like she thinks I should be more like her and my sister.

[ClaraWho]

This passive aggressive abuse is horrid... Especially because it can be so subtle to others that they don't see it at first. You also feel really small for pointing it out to them, like 'please can you just support me and love me for me?'

I'm the one who is never doing anything right in our household, maybe because I'm the youngest. My brother hasn't got the same expectations that are placed on my sister and I, but maybe because he is so mature anyway. My parents work as diplomats so appearance means a lot and I'm constantly made to feel by my mother I'm best seen and not heard. Just stand around and look pretty for her powerful, rich guests each night.

I do brilliantly at school and in extra curricular activities, but it's not enough. It's not what she wants me to do, or what she did growing up. I don't know if there is any way to reconcile her to being supportive of ME. I'm trying to stop caring what she thinks but it still hurts you know? At least I have my brother to defend me, although he's been getting in trouble for 'insolence' recently, and they theeatened to send me to a far off Uni :/.

I'm sorry this is more sharing than helpful, but you are not alone in this and it is rotten. Have you tried talking to het?

~ Clara

[Beach_Blonde]

I don't even really know what to say to her to be honest. I just feel like I am a disappointment. Like I don't know if she found out I have a girlfriend or maybe because I have turned more to getting an education because I can't do sports now. I just don't know what it is. My sister said it happen to her too, that my mom goes through this phases of disappointment.

[ClaraWho]

It's unfair, but you just do you. Pursue what you want independently and try to not think of her expectations. You only have one life, and she has hers. So long as you aren't messing it up, chin up, crack on. Some people spend their entire lives trying to impress parents who will never let them feel good enough. Then once their parents are gone of this world, they don't know who they are/what they want, or still try to make them proud. It's really sad.

~ Clara

[Freckles]

I thinkk sometimes they do that because they're afraid that you're growing up. They still see you as a little kid.

[Serra]

Yea I feel like i am never doing anything right. You should tell her how you feel if you are comfortable with it.

[Beach_Blonde]

I want to talk to her, I just feel like she is pushing me away. I can't tell if she is just resentful for having to take care of me so much, mad that I am not going down the path that she had wanted/planned for me, or just sad that i am growing up.....

plus i am really worried she may have found out i have a girlfriend and she is all three because of it

[Microcosm]

TheQuietGirl,

The expectations of our parents typically mean more to us than those of others. We subconsciously think they know us better, and therefore their opinion is fact. They were the ones that taught us how to use the bathroom, brush our teeth, clean ourselves, make friends, lose friends, etc., and why can't they teach us about ourselves?

Because we are the only ones who really know ourselves. You, and not your mom, know who you are and who you want to be, and only you can truly decide what is right for you.

The best thing you can do right now is keep your head high. Perhaps she's compensating for something. Who knows, but what matters is that you can still be a great person whether she sees it or not. If she refuses to see the good in you and support you, then she's the one who is missing out, the one who has failed to be supportive.

Keep your head high. Hope I helped. :)