Help me please.

[BaccaPME]

I literally have no clue what to do, so I am coming to you guys for help. I love this girl, a lot, and she loves me. But.. we are kinda in an on off relationship, sadly, like we will break up and a week or two later we will get back together, and one time, the most recent time, she dumped me and about two weeks later she said she was sorry and everything so we got back together, that was a few days ago. Yesterday she came and told me that while we were broken up, for less than two weeks, she let another guy finger her.. She also said that she loved me the entire time and that she was constantly crying over me. But.. I dont know.. and keep in mind, we are 14. (Dont say anything about us being too young to love, please) and yea.. she hasn't ever let me do anything like that and we have been together for almost a year.. and it took that guy like an hour?? I just... I dont know what to do..

[Irishperson15]

It could be just that you or her are not able to settle as of yet. Also, your hormones will both be going wild at this point. I suggest just tell her how you feel about it and get her position on whether she wants a relationship or just to be friends. Don't worry about that other guy and her. Something like that never lasts. Be glad your time with her was worth more than a good finger ..

[BaccaPME]

It could be just that you or her are not able to settle as of yet. Also, your hormones will both be going wild at this point. I suggest just tell her how you feel about it and get her position on whether she wants a relationship or just to be friends. Don't worry about that other guy and her. Something like that never lasts. Be glad your time with her was worth more than a good finger ..
I really have no clue what happened with that other reply, new to the website I guess, but thank you for everything. She was willing to have a convo about it after I posted this and she said she regretted it and really does want to be with me, any advice on how to forget it ever happened though?

[Splat]

I really have no clue what happened with that other reply, new to the website I guess, but thank you for everything. She was willing to have a convo about it after I posted this and she said she regretted it and really does want to be with me, any advice on how to forget it ever happened though?

I know you said not to mention anything about age, but honestly I don't think trying to think about getting into a proper committed relationship at 14 is at all wise - hormones are flying around everywhere, school is stressful and all that jazz. Seriously, it's gonna go around in a circle and every time she dumps you (or any other equivalent) your self esteem is just gonna drop.

How about you both just stay as best buds. If she really did regret it and if she really does want to be with you, you should be able to hang around as friends until everything's settled a bit.

Hate me all you want for me saying it, but no matter what, it's most important to worry about serious things like school and stuff, and constant break ups are just gonna ruin it all.

[Irishperson15]

I really have no clue what happened with that other reply, new to the website I guess, but thank you for everything. She was willing to have a convo about it after I posted this and she said she regretted it and really does want to be with me, any advice on how to forget it ever happened though?

You won't 'forget' how it happened, but you'll get over it. If her friendship or companionship is worth it, you will forgive her and work through it. But take it easy. Don't jump into anything, you are only 14. Just take it slow and if she does anything like that again she clearly doesn't respect you and doesn't deserve you. But just stay at it. :)

[ClaraWho]

Really? This is what counts as 'love'?

You're only on here to try to convince yourself of the opposite decision you've come to. you don't say 'why' you keep breaking up, but if for trivial reasons then it's hardly a committed relationship. If for major reasons then stay broken up.

You've been together a year and it's not worked out. In the space of 2 weeks she was sexual with another guy, and I'd question if it was just the act you say. These things don't tend to be one sided. If you love someone you don't break up, have a sexual fling, then get back together. And the next time you break up? Why would the cycle stop this time?

She sounds like she needs to be single right now, sort herself out and what she wants in life.

Good Luck,

~ Clara

[Zachary G]

sounds like the two of you need to sit down and have a long talk about what you are both looking for and expecting out of your relationship together. There seem to be some little differences there that keep popping up that cause you to break up, but thats how a good relationship is built -- communication. Its the key to a really god relationship.