i'm tired of my pity party

[BunniBoi]

i recently lost all my new friends when i told them i was bisexual and now i'm alone. i don't know my real mom or dad and i'm being raised by my grandma and great grandma. my grandma is sick with lupus and i'm afraid to lose her but she's driving me insane, and i'm tired of this facade, she yells at me tells me that i'm doing good one day then tell me the next day that i'm a fucking failure and on the outside of this house i put on a smile and say that shes the best mom ever. i'm losing my mind i have fantasizes about "hurting" people that hurt me. whats wrong with me why can't i have a happy life? was i not meant to be here? i can't find love. i wan't my old grandma back. i want real and non weird friends. i might need to take my life, maybe everybody would be better of without me.

[Chapperz16]

i recently lost all my new friends when i told them i was bisexual and now i'm alone. i don't know my real mom or dad and i'm being raised by my grandma and great grandma. my grandma is sick with lupus and i'm afraid to lose her but she's driving me insane, and i'm tired of this facade, she yells at me tells me that i'm doing good one day then tell me the next day that i'm a fucking failure and on the outside of this house i put on a smile and say that shes the best mom ever. i'm losing my mind i have fantasizes about "hurting" people that hurt me. whats wrong with me why can't i have a happy life? was i not meant to be here? i can't find love. i wan't my old grandma back. i want real and non weird friends. i might need to take my life, maybe everybody would be better of without me.

I recently was in a dark place, much like you. I came out as bi at school and was beaten up quite frequently before it. I lost all my friends and had nothing but myself. But the reason I'm still here today is due to self respect and hope. Forget how others perceive you and learn to love yourself. Coming out as bi or gay is scary as hell and takes some real guts to do, I know that you didn't have the best outcome but wouldn't you say you feel free because of it? Those people who liked you when you were seemingly straight are not real friends if they turn their back on you if your unique. Love who you are and remember that there is no one exactly like you in the world, you are original and a good person. In terms of hope, I've been looking for romance since like forever and the only person I got with turned out to only use me for sex and so I thought I was helpless. But if you hold on and be true to yourself then someone will be there for you, only last week I met another guy who is literally perfect for me and has been through a near enough symmetrical life. I didn't think I would ever get anyone and had I committed suicide, I would never of met him.

Be true to yourself and always have hope, you are unique and no one can take that away from you.

[Irishperson15]

I'm sorry to hear you've had a rough time. This might seem blunt but if your 'friends' didn't accept you for who you were and only for who they thought you were then they aren't real friends. You will make new ones in the near future who will accept you for who you are
Just have faith in yourself. You are the master of your own identity, not anyone else. Be true to yourself because how can you be true to life or anyone else if you can't be true to yourself? Stay strong.

[ClaraWho]

You're 15 yrs old. 15. That's 15/100 possible years. 15% lived with 85% of life for the taking. And it is for the taking.

Right now all you have is school and your grandma. It's a box you find yourself in. Look at the bigger picture. You live in a remote suburb of a massive world you have yet to even venture out in.

What are your plans for the future? What is it you want to accomplish in life? What are your passions, inspirations, hopes. Who are you?

People who live in hatred are insecure about themselves. Leave them to be miserable and unfulfilled together, they are but parasitical leaches upon society.

You don't say in which country you find yourself, but pro-homosexuality is much on the rise with younger, less bigoted (and needless to say religious) becoming predominant. Look for LGBT societies you could join, or keep a low profile if your locale is rife with bigotry.

My overarching point here is don't base your view on life, on a relatively minor short-term time period where things seem to be going wrong for you. Think about what you want from life. Make plans. Make back-up plans. Make back-ups for back-up plans. And try your hardest to make them happen. In a few years time you'll be in a much better environment, probably nowhere near the people or area you are in now. Stop thinking about the cowardly, lazy way out. The only thing worth dying for is saving a loved one.

~ Clara

[Zachary G]

I can relate to losing friends after coming out, that was pretty devastating, but with time I made some new and better friends who accept me for who I am, and you will find those friends too. It just takes a little time, patience, and open mindedness.

Your situation at home sounds a little rough, but genuinely loving. I am sorry to hear about your grandma being sick, that can be hard sometimes. Taking your life wont get you anywhere and will only cause hurt and heartache for those that care about you. If you just give up on trying, then youll never experience anything in the life that was meant for you. Dont give up, dude. Hang in there, be positive, and keep going because something good is going to happen for you if you just see it through. Believe that.