How to tell our parents she's pregnant

[angelchild]

So originally this 17 year old girl was going to be a one time sex thing, but stupid me forgot to wear a condom. And guess who got pregnant. This happened back on January 11th. We've been dating since this has happened and we've actually built a pretty good relationship. But now we fill that we need to tell our parents about this so she can go see doctors and stuff. We're not sure how to tell them though. We both know that our parents will be pissed when they find out so really we're looking for ways to tell them that will make them not as pissed off

[TonyJoe]

Look, I don't think you should do this, but most Planned Parent Hood clinics will do it and won't dob you in to you parents. So if push comes to shove, there's always that option.

HOWEVER, I think you should tell them. I think that you're complaint that "they'll be pissed" isn't really valid in this circumstance, I mean, come on, you knocked up someone who isn't even an adult yet. I think you should really just come right out with it and say it to them, the worst that's going to happen is they'll be mad for a few minutes before talking about what you're going to do with it.

I don't have personal experience with this, but to me the answer's pretty obvious.

[Tesserax]

I suggest trying to organize a meeting between the two families, so that you two can do it together and confront everybody at once.

Make sure both your parents know that you understand your mistake, that you understand the responsibility that comes with this, but also that you are going to work extra hard to support the baby as well as get your education.

You need to show your parents that you are responsible enough to take on adult roles, and if they shout at you, just don't say anything. Just remain calm, don't say anything while they shout (if they do) and just take it, then tell them calmly that you understand.

If they shout more though, try to tell them (without getting angry, to show that you are being more like a rational adult than they are) that being angry won't do anything nor help, because the deed has been done and it cannot be reversed, and that the only thing that can and must be focused on now is the future, and try to redirect the conversation to your options.

Good luck, I don't know how to respond properly, but I'm just trying to apply my understanding of people. Again, good luck to you and your girlfriend, I wish you two a very happy life together

[Zachary G]

I suggest trying to organize a meeting between the two families, so that you two can do it together and confront everybody at once.

Make sure both your parents know that you understand your mistake, that you understand the responsibility that comes with this, but also that you are going to work extra hard to support the baby as well as get your education.

You need to show your parents that you are responsible enough to take on adult roles, and if they shout at you, just don't say anything. Just remain calm, don't say anything while they shout (if they do) and just take it, then tell them calmly that you understand.

If they shout more though, try to tell them (without getting angry, to show that you are being more like a rational adult than they are) that being angry won't do anything nor help, because the deed has been done and it cannot be reversed, and that the only thing that can and must be focused on now is the future, and try to redirect the conversation to your options.

Good luck, I don't know how to respond properly, but I'm just trying to apply my understanding of people. Again, good luck to you and your girlfriend, I wish you two a very happy life together

Yeah, I think Yan Hearn said it best, get the families together and just tell them, theres no way to tell them something like this where they wont be "as pissed" because this is one big, life changing mistake. Good luck.

[LanaPole]

it will be difficult to tell them, but i think you still have to tell them the truth.... and get ready to be a dad

[Uniquemind]

This is one of those situations where you need to rip the band-aid off fast.

The rents being angry is beyond the main concern. The main concern now is no longer for yourself, it's your child that matters now.

I'll admit it's gonna be hard in this economy for you to succeed, but it can be done.

Keep education in mind for both of you and seek out scholarships that help young parents.

You'll also need to research how to feed, cloth, get health insurance for the mom and baby.

---

Also really make sure you two are together because you two like each other, NEVER stay with someone for the sake of the baby. That's a toxic relationship waiting to happen.

[Cadanance00]

This is one of those situations where you need to rip the band-aid off fast.

The rents being angry is beyond the main concern. The main concern now is no longer for yourself, it's your child that matters now.

I'll admit it's gonna be hard in this economy for you to succeed, but it can be done.

Keep education in mind for both of you and seek out scholarships that help young parents.

You'll also need to research how to feed, cloth, get health insurance for the mom and baby.

---

Also really make sure you two are together because you two like each other, NEVER stay with someone for the sake of the baby. That's a toxic relationship waiting to happen.

Yep. "Boy, you in a whole heap of trouble."

[SethfromMI]

well it is not the end of the world. in fact, it will be the beginning of a new world for you and your gf. both of you got to tell your parents ASAP if you haven't already. just be honest about the situation. don't make any excuses. there will be no easy way to tell something like this, but many parents are still very supportive in this situation. but you got to talk and start making arrangements and figuring things out

[StoppingTom]

Welp, you gotta prove you can be a responsible dad and man, and own up to it, accept what you've done, and not just promise to do everything you can (promises are easy to make, difficult to keep) so you have to PROVE you will do everything you can for your girlfriend, her family, and your (new) family.

[Body odah Man]

So originally this 17 year old girl was going to be a one time sex thing, but stupid me forgot to wear a condom. And guess who got pregnant. This happened back on January 11th. We've been dating since this has happened and we've actually built a pretty good relationship. But now we fill that we need to tell our parents about this so she can go see doctors and stuff. We're not sure how to tell them though. We both know that our parents will be pissed when they find out so really we're looking for ways to tell them that will make them not as pissed off

You're 15... Good job dumbass; how the HELL are you going to take care of a kid? Shit man, you're in middle school. You'd better hope her or your parents are willing to help cuz you're NEVER gunna be able to raise a kid without at least one parent with a well paying job (I doubt the salaries for 15/17 year olds in school is enough for raising a kid).

As for how to tell her parents: Own up to it and beg them to help your ass cuz if they don't I doubt you'll be able to raise the kid. Tell her parents you love her and will never abandon them and that you need help because she's pregnant and you don't think you can handle a kid without their help. Buy them some nice wine or something as an apology gift and ask them to be understanding and help you. Have them realize you're sorry about what happened and that you need their help. If you're worried her parents will yell at her, let her hang out at your place for a bit. If your parents are understanding and loving, it might be best to tell them first and have them help you approach her parents (best if u approach them alone though).

TLDR; you need the help of your parents. Buy them a nice gift, tell them you love their daughter and tell them what happened. Do the same to your parents and get their support. GL man.

Edit: According to Unique mind you might be able to raise a kid without awesome jobs so ignore that part. Rest of the advice still stands

[Uniquemind]

You're 15... Good job dumbass; how the HELL are you going to take care of a kid? Shit man, you're in middle school. You'd better hope her or your parents are willing to help cuz you're NEVER gunna be able to raise a kid without at least one parent with a well paying job (I doubt the salaries for 15/17 year olds in school is enough for raising a kid).

As for how to tell her parents: Own up to it and beg them to help your ass cuz if they don't I doubt you'll be able to raise the kid. Tell her parents you love her and will never abandon them and that you need help because she's pregnant and you don't think you can handle a kid without their help. Buy them some nice wine or something as an apology gift and ask them to be understanding and help you. Have them realize you're sorry about what happened and that you need their help. If you're worried her parents will yell at her, let her hang out at your place for a bit. If your parents are understanding and loving, it might be best to tell them first and have them help you approach her parents (best if u approach them alone though).

TLDR; you need the help of your parents. Buy them a nice gift, tell them you love their daughter and tell them what happened. Do the same to your parents and get their support. GL man.

Edit: According to Unique mind you might be able to raise a kid without awesome jobs so ignore that part. Rest of the advice still stands

Nope he can't even buy wine because he's 15.

He's in a cuckhold position because the 17 year old girl gets to decide:

1. Keep baby

2. Send baby to adoption

3. Abortion

Those are the paths regarding this scenario and the males have little to NO say, their situation is a secondary domino effect of what the female decides.

I also never said he won't need an awesome job to get the financial support needed.

[Body odah Man]

Nope he can't even buy wine because he's 15.

He's in a cuckhold position because the 17 year old girl gets to decide:

1. Keep baby

2. Send baby to adoption

3. Abortion

Those are the paths regarding this scenario and the males have little to NO say, their situation is a secondary domino effect of what the female decides.

I also never said he won't need an awesome job to get the financial support needed.

I might have skimmed through your post and misread it. Sorry about that

[Straya]

So originally this 17 year old girl was going to be a one time sex thing, but stupid me forgot to wear a condom. And guess who got pregnant. This happened back on January 11th. We've been dating since this has happened and we've actually built a pretty good relationship. But now we fill that we need to tell our parents about this so she can go see doctors and stuff. We're not sure how to tell them though. We both know that our parents will be pissed when they find out so really we're looking for ways to tell them that will make them not as pissed off

as others have said the best way to do it is to get both familes together if possible and break it to them then

[ImCoolBeans]

I'm not totally sure that getting the parents together is the best thing to do, but that's just me. I don't know if I'd want two angry dads in the room together when news like that is broken. Emotions will be running high, especially for her dad (not to put you down, but she's the one carrying the child, and he is her father). Regardless of what you decide to do, don't wait too much longer. You don't want them to find out through other channels and get angry that you are keeping it from them. Best to do it ASAP so they can help you both out with medical care and getting ready for whatever you decide to do. I wish you and your girlfriend well on the journey you're starting.

[Uniquemind]

I'm not totally sure that getting the parents together is the best thing to do, but that's just me. I don't know if I'd want two angry dads in the room together when news like that is broken. Emotions will be running high, especially for her dad (not to put you down, but she's the one carrying the child, and he is her father). Regardless of what you decide to do, don't wait too much longer. You don't want them to find out through other channels and get angry that you are keeping it from them. Best to do it ASAP so they can help you both out with medical care and getting ready for whatever you decide to do. I wish you and your girlfriend well on the journey you're starting.

What state does the OP live in?

Cuz if it's Texas, Good luck finding an abortion clinic within reasonable travel distance, because the Republican Party reduced those institution's numbers down drastically.


Also I agree that the OP's dad will possibly accuse the female's dad of raising a slut daughter who was older and knew better than to be with a younger boy.

I imagine you also envisioned a similar drama that could play out?

But at the same time it's like what could prevent that from happening at this point?

Humans are responsible to be less contradictory and to improve with every succeeding generation, so far little progress has been made, because people find it easier to pass off blame, rather than be realists and focused on the tasks at hand.

[West Coast Sheriff]

Welp, you gotta prove you can be a responsible dad and man, and own up to it, accept what you've done, and not just promise to do everything you can (promises are easy to make, difficult to keep) so you have to PROVE you will do everything you can for your girlfriend, her family, and your (new) family.

Y'all need to be responsible for your actions and raise this kid. You should also be really excited about becoming a dad!

I can say they'll most probably be mad no matter how you tell them, do they have any clue you've been sexually active? If they think your not active, it may be a shock. But you need to tell them soon and make sure shes getting full medical care and help to make sure the babies healthy. once they get over being mad, they'll be worried about her health and everything. just have to do it and get it over with it.

Let us know what happens

Once the anger fizzles out, they will be excited to become grandparents.

The sooner you tell them, the better. Get the child medical care and make sure nothing is wrong with he/she. Seeing the ultrasound should show you and your mother to be how lucky you are. This is a blessing in so many ways. Congratulations!!!!

[Uniquemind]

Y'all need to be responsible for your actions and raise this kid. You should also be really excited about becoming a dad!



Once the anger fizzles out, they will be excited to become grandparents.

The sooner you tell them, the better. Get the child medical care and make sure nothing is wrong with he/she. Seeing the ultrasound should show you and your mother to be how lucky you are. This is a blessing in so many ways. Congratulations!!!!

Umm yeah kinda, but like in this situation, it a curse first.

I wouldn't sweet talk the situation, it's a bit insulting in my opinion.

[Jamie48169]

There are a lot of legal issues at play here as well.

For one thing, if she is 17 and he is 15, she may have committed a crime by having sex with him. Depending on the state it is illegal for someone 15 or younger to have sex, as hey can't consent legally. Some locales will aggressively go after the older person, although with her being 17, that is a stretch.

As for the rights the father has, this would likely become a legal mess there as well, unless she wants to keep the baby and raise it as her child. Even then there are issues with parental rights and visitation for the father, child support, ect.

This is basically a big mess that will take a long time to sort out. Don't expect telling the parents to be the end of this mess. This mess could last the next 18 years at least, or could end up great if you stick together.

[mutantboy]

I wouldn't like to be your shoes mate...

[PlasmaHam]

DON'T GET AN ABORTION! Everyone has the right to live, even if that somebody came from your "mistake." There are no mistakes when it comes to life.

I suggest you contact your parents separate from the mother's parents. The last thing you want is dads fighting against each other, they tend to be emotional when it comes to these kind of things. When you talk to each set of parents, be firm and straightforward. Tell them what you have done, and that you apologize for it, and you are willing to deal with the consequences. Unless your and her parents are ultra liberal, you will almost definitely get a negative response. I wouldn't argue with them about it, telling someone their son or daughter is now a parent is a shocker and they will need time to compute that. They should get over that within a few days and would be more than willing to help with medical costs and advice.

If your parents are anything like mine, then they should be more than willing to support the child. But as a parent, you should still work to help support it, as that is a big sign of responsibility. You are 15, which means you will likely be able to work part-time depending on the job. I suggest you spend some time looking for a job before the baby is born. You may also be able to receive some charitable or welfare benefits, but I am not sure how that would work for parents under 18.

To be honest, I feel both sad and glad for you. I feel sad because of your actions you will now have to devote a considerable amount of your late teens and early adult years towards caring for the child and mother. But I am glad because you are a dad! You have a son, or daughter, idk but it is still great!

Good luck

[Flapjack]

So originally this 17 year old girl was going to be a one time sex thing, but stupid me forgot to wear a condom. And guess who got pregnant. This happened back on January 11th. We've been dating since this has happened and we've actually built a pretty good relationship. But now we fill that we need to tell our parents about this so she can go see doctors and stuff. We're not sure how to tell them though. We both know that our parents will be pissed when they find out so really we're looking for ways to tell them that will make them not as pissed off
There is no easy way to tell them buddy but you must tell them ASAP. You will need their support!

DON'T GET AN ABORTION! Everyone has the right to live, even if that somebody came from your "mistake." There are no mistakes when it comes to life.

That is the women's decision to make! Not yours! How dare you put more pressure on them in an already difficult and stressful situation!

[PlasmaHam]

That is the women's decision to make! Not yours! How dare you put more pressure on them in an already difficult and stressful situation!

Your yelling and arguing here is not making it any easier for them. I respect the thread creator enough not to contest the earlier claims for abortion, and I expect you to do the same and not continue this discussion here.

Anyways, it is already past the legal week time for abortion. If the thread creator is right about January being the month of conception, then it is past the 20 weeks for legal abortions. But there are illegal abortions, and I definitely don't want them to go there.

[Flapjack]

Your yelling and arguing here is not making it any easier for them. I respect the thread creator enough not to contest the earlier claims for abortion, and I expect you to do the same and not continue this discussion here.

Anyways, it is already past the legal week time for abortion. If the thread creator is right about January being the month of conception, then it is past the 20 weeks for legal abortions. But there are illegal abortions, and I definitely don't want them to go there.
I wasn't saying abortion is right or wrong. I was saying you posting that on this thread is not helpful at all as the OP is a guy and cannot choose but you're making a stressful, difficult situation worse. If she does abort the baby do you think she'll enjoy doing it? Do you think this post would make them feel better? Why don't you try to help the OP rather than spreading your abortion agenda around.

[Living For Love]

Please don't bump old threads. :locked: