My best friend is dating my crush?

[ZzeWatermelon]

Hey,

So my best friend knew all this time how much I've liked a guy. And a while ago they started flirting, and they've got great chemistry, she's just super pretty, and he likes her (he told me about it) and she likes him back. And they're physically really close (hugs, kisses on cheak, they made out during a truth or dare game) and they're not officially dating yet, but they'll be together really soon, it's obvious.
And to me it's a totally bitchy move since I would NEVER go after someone's guy, cause although he's not my bf I've been saying how much I like him everyday! And I've been doing SO many efforts to get closer to him (several months) and she comes and gets him so fast! I feel more mad than jealous though... But again he's not my bf so she gets the right to go after him, but it makes me frustrated as hell...
But the thing is whatever, I can't do anything against that, and if they're meant to date, they'll date, whatever.
But do you have advice on how to feel better since I don't think I'll be able to stand it emotionnally if they kiss, date around me etc? I really like him. How do I handle them being together?

[Motty]

I say forget it, be friends with the guy you like, then you could wait till he's single (but wouldn't do that) find someone new, there will be someone right for you :)

[Uniquemind]

Focus on improving yourself and date other people.

If you need some distance from both of them that's fine, but you've got to move past this and I suggest intense focus on your studies can be a great distraction.

To be honest this has happened a lot in my social circles, sometimes it breaks friendships or at least cools them off a bit, other times the guy turns out to be a jerk and friends bond over shared experience of dating the same guy.

[Babs]

I know it really sucks, but here's my two cents.

He's not really your guy if they're dating. She likes him too, so would it not be equally unfair if you were to date him? I personally don't believe in the "I like this person so none of my friends can date them because that's disloyal" mindset.

I say just move on. Avoid them if you have to. But I don't think it's worth it to be miserable over something like this.

[West Coast Sheriff]

I think from other posts I've seen from you, it's clear you should go after someone else (or even better, focus on yourself and wait for someone new). If she's inconsiderate of your feelings, distance yourself from her. You can still be friendly without being close friends. Enjoy your other friends and yourself. Try not to think about them to often.

[EricParker]

Think about what you would feel about it ten years from now.

[Moriya]

Distance yourself from the both of them and move on. Focus on yourself and try to keep your mood high. Whatever you do, don't try to sabotage their relationship, because all it'll end up doing is hurting them a lot and you even more.

[-]Besides, they'll probably break up in about a month just watch.[/-]

[ZzeWatermelon]

Distance yourself from the both of them and move on. Focus on yourself and try to keep your mood high. Whatever you do, don't try to sabotage their relationship, because all it'll end up doing is hurting them a lot and you even more.

[-]Besides, they'll probably break up in about a month just watch.[/-]

Yeah that's what I think, it won't last. And there is NO WAY I could sabotage it, I love them both so much. I'm happy for them though. But terribly jealous at the same time. BUt I've noticed that I've started to move on, and pay more interest to other guys... And I've noticed that there are guys interested that I haven't paid attention to, and haven't noticed that before, but now that I did... Awesome xD

[ZzeWatermelon]

Think about what you would feel about it ten years from now.

It will feel like a completely useless, funny thing. And I won't remember their names I bet.

[Meron]

It's your fault since you didn't make the move and confront with the person you want.

So yeah, just move on. There are plenty of others that you can get. Maybe this one is just not meant for you.

[ZzeWatermelon]

[QUOTE=Meron;3334604]It's your fault since you didn't make the move and confront with the person you want.

So yeah, just move on. There are plenty of others that you can get. Maybe this one is just not meant for you.[/QUOTE

I made a move, asked him out and he rejected me...

[Meron]

It's your fault since you didn't make the move and confront with the person you want.

So yeah, just move on. There are plenty of others that you can get. Maybe this one is just not meant for you.

I made a move, asked him out and he rejected me...

Sorry about that. So yeah, maybe he was just not meant for you? Did you try moving on?

[jockeyboy97]

Definitely distance your self from the both of them. Yes the betrayal from both of them hurts. You don't want the guy back and that girlfriend of your is no friend. Try to put on a strong face to show them that your strong and not miserable. Believe me they know deep down what they did was wrong and there are others who feel the same but wont say anything to them. Like others have said focus on your schoolwork and continue to be with other friends. Soon you will find a honest loyal boyfriend who will make you happy. As for your girlfriend and ex boyfriend they will probably have poor relationships throughout life. If they did it once they will probably do it again, they are not loyal or honest with themselves.

[LiamC]

I have this situation too :( Although I am gay and my crush/other best friend is straight lol. It still sucks a bit, I wouldn't stop them being together though because her really really likes her, and I'd rather that he was happy with who he wants to be with than be bitter and lonely like me lol.

You don't need people like that in your life though, if they betray and hurt you like that, to be frank.

[Stronk Serb]

You will find a nice guy for you eventually. About your friend, I don't know. It's a shit move, hell I wouldn't do that to my enemy. It's just one of the things you never do.

[ZzeWatermelon]

You will find a nice guy for you eventually. About your friend, I don't know. It's a shit move, hell I wouldn't do that to my enemy. It's just one of the things you never do.

I know... But I can't forget him. Damn.

[Stronk Serb]

I know... But I can't forget him. Damn.

You will in time. Just don't think about him.

[ZzeWatermelon]

I have a question, why now that he has a gf, he's flirty and showing interest?
The friends around me are even saying it that he flirts with me. Is it to get his gf to be jealous?

[Uniquemind]

I have a question, why now that he has a gf, he's flirty and showing interest?
The friends around me are even saying it that he flirts with me. Is it to get his gf to be jealous?

Maybe, or he's oblivious and is a natural jokester and flirt.

I'd give up on him, I'd be so exhausted from the drama by now I'd just be like "NOPE".

[Irishperson15]

Hey,

So my best friend knew all this time how much I've liked a guy. And a while ago they started flirting, and they've got great chemistry, she's just super pretty, and he likes her (he told me about it) and she likes him back. And they're physically really close (hugs, kisses on cheak, they made out during a truth or dare game) and they're not officially dating yet, but they'll be together really soon, it's obvious.
And to me it's a totally bitchy move since I would NEVER go after someone's guy, cause although he's not my bf I've been saying how much I like him everyday! And I've been doing SO many efforts to get closer to him (several months) and she comes and gets him so fast! I feel more mad than jealous though... But again he's not my bf so she gets the right to go after him, but it makes me frustrated as hell...
But the thing is whatever, I can't do anything against that, and if they're meant to date, they'll date, whatever.
But do you have advice on how to feel better since I don't think I'll be able to stand it emotionnally if they kiss, date around me etc? I really like him. How do I handle them being together?

Hi, I totally understand your situation. The same thing happened me with my best friend, he knew I liked this girl.
We had spoken for months and gotten fairly close and then he started to talk to her. Let's just say she liked him a lot more than me and wanted to go out with him and I nearly ruined our friendship over it. We are beat friends again now and never mention said girl. So basically just accept it if you don't want to risk your friendship. Their feelings are clear to you so you shouldn't interfere. If I had lost my best friend for that I would never forgive myself. Just remain good friends with the girl and try and get along if they are happy.

[ZzeWatermelon]

Hi, I totally understand your situation. The same thing happened me with my best friend, he knew I liked this girl.
We had spoken for months and gotten fairly close and then he started to talk to her. Let's just say she liked him a lot more than me and wanted to go out with him and I nearly ruined our friendship over it. We are beat friends again now and never mention said girl. So basically just accept it if you don't want to risk your friendship. Their feelings are clear to you so you shouldn't interfere. If I had lost my best friend for that I would never forgive myself. Just remain good friends with the girl and try and get along if they are happy.

Wow our situations are totally similar, I'm surprised. How did their situation turn out to be? Are you totally over it? How did you convince yourself to ... be ok with it I guess. I just find it so difficult.

[Irishperson15]

Wow our situations are totally similar, I'm surprised. How did their situation turn out to be? Are you totally over it? How did you convince yourself to ... be ok with it I guess. I just find it so difficult.

We had a rough friendhship for a few months, we hardly spoke and didn't really 'hang-out' or anything. I because depressed a bit and we just fell down. It got better again after be realised she was just another girl who would pass by and what we had was more valuable.

[ZzeWatermelon]

We had a rough friendhship for a few months, we hardly spoke and didn't really 'hang-out' or anything. I because depressed a bit and we just fell down. It got better again after be realised she was just another girl who would pass by and what we had was more valuable.

Wow, that situation must've been really hard to cope with, I'm sorry. :) It's a good point that it finally got better... although it took a lot of time.

Although for me, seeing them together is difficult, I learned to cope with it, even if I do find it really really hard. But not being happy for my two friends that are happy together would be just egoistic. And this is not about me, and what I want, it's about them and their happiness.
And for some reason I keep on telling myself: "Anyways it's not such a loss, he's not even that good, respectful or mature with a girlfriend now that you see it, and your imagination idealized him". So I am getting over him, but I'll take time. But I did create that ideal image of him being a boyfriend... And I think that I'm better off without him, waiting for someone better.
Meanwhile I noticed that three guys are totally hitting on me, and although none of them interests me particularly, I haven't seen how eager they are to be with me because I was so obsessed with that one guy.

[Uniquemind]

Wow, that situation must've been really hard to cope with, I'm sorry. :) It's a good point that it finally got better... although it took a lot of time.

Although for me, seeing them together is difficult, I learned to cope with it, even if I do find it really really hard. But not being happy for my two friends that are happy together would be just egoistic. And this is not about me, and what I want, it's about them and their happiness.
And for some reason I keep on telling myself: "Anyways it's not such a loss, he's not even that good, respectful or mature with a girlfriend now that you see it, and your imagination idealized him". So I am getting over him, but I'll take time. But I did create that ideal image of him being a boyfriend... And I think that I'm better off without him, waiting for someone better.
Meanwhile I noticed that three guys are totally hitting on me, and although none of them interests me particularly, I haven't seen how eager they are to be with me because I was so obsessed with that one guy.

And many here including myself, warned you about that phase where you'll realize the reality Versus the imagined mental picture fantasy of them and you together and that when reality hits based on seeing how they handle themselves in a relationship, the fantasy and temptation becomes dull because the bar was set so high in imagination land.

We also warned you about how you'll begin to detect others interested in you as tunnel vision eases up.

[buttercup75]

Its okay and it happens with everybody but make sure u don't ruin your friendship with either one of them especially your best friend. True friends are hard to find and even though your best friend wasn't suppose to do what she did, she still remains your best friend and she definitely deserves a second chance. And you'll get over it soon.

[ZzeWatermelon]

Its okay and it happens with everybody but make sure u don't ruin your friendship with either one of them especially your best friend. True friends are hard to find and even though your best friend wasn't suppose to do what she did, she still remains your best friend and she definitely deserves a second chance. And you'll get over it soon.

I think that I need a little bit more time, but I'll definitely forget it all.