Are we too fundamentally different?

[Supermeggs12]

Okay, let me start off by saying I'm a really serious person. I obsess over my grades and do a ton of extracurricular activities, like ballet and I really want to go to an Ivy League college. I really care about my outward appearance and I do conform to social expectations. I love making new friends. According to my family, I'm "little miss perfect." I basically obsess over every little detail.

However, the boy I like is completely opposite to me. He's very, very stubborn and will not conform at all. He also doesn't have good grades (he gets Cs) and is overall not that interested in college. He's also generally not that social or open with people and is hard to get to know.. like, really hard. He doesn't really talk to people. He's not as ambitious and doesn't really care.

My friends are telling me he's below my league and I can do better.

But the thing here is, I'm worried about how opposite our personalities are. We're two fundamentally different people. But I like him a lot, and I think he likes me.

What should I do?

[eric2001]

Well, he might start getting more serious about things and be more like you, but I wouldn't bet on it. If he stays like he is, you're always going to have problems if you're a couple. You seem like like an awesome girl. You should look for a guy who thinks more like you do.

[Uniquemind]

Okay, let me start off by saying I'm a really serious person. I obsess over my grades and do a ton of extracurricular activities, like ballet and I really want to go to an Ivy League college. I really care about my outward appearance and I do conform to social expectations. I love making new friends. According to my family, I'm "little miss perfect." I basically obsess over every little detail.

However, the boy I like is completely opposite to me. He's very, very stubborn and will not conform at all. He also doesn't have good grades (he gets Cs) and is overall not that interested in college. He's also generally not that social or open with people and is hard to get to know.. like, really hard. He doesn't really talk to people. He's not as ambitious and doesn't really care.

My friends are telling me he's below my league and I can do better.

But the thing here is, I'm worried about how opposite our personalities are. We're two fundamentally different people. But I like him a lot, and I think he likes me.

What should I do?

Scratch the physical itch with him with protection, and remain emotionally distant seems to be the answer and them move on with your life.

[ClaraWho]

Scratch the physical itch with him with protection, and remain emotionally distant seems to be the answer and them move on with your life.

Like a lot of your replies, I find this to be rather emotionally detached, and most people don't function that way.

OP There's a reason why they say 'opposites attract' but at the same time, you do need common ground, especially on the fundamentals. I'd look at what it is you are attracted to about him. Are you envious of his traits? Do you see his attitudes as something you may wish to incorporate into your own life?

It's stifling sometimes to have the weighty expectations, yours and everyone else's, of being who is expected. It sounds like you don't really know who YOU are. You see a plan that goes from A-B with checklist boxes ticked and ending in a routine life. It's comfortable. It's boring. It drives you mad. Any of this sound familiar?

Where are YOU when you're conforming to expectations, conforming to societal conventions?

It may not be that you 'like' him per say, it may be you want to BE more like him, even if in smaller degrees.

Having said that I'll caveat that what I look for in a partner is someone who firstly is my best friend, and secondly makes me try to be a better person because they are the best. They give me an example of who I want to aspire to be. But then sometimes love is illogical and blind xD

Anyway,

Good Luck!

~ Clara

[Uniquemind]

Like a lot of your replies, I find this to be rather emotionally detached, and most people don't function that way.

OP There's a reason why they say 'opposites attract' but at the same time, you do need common ground, especially on the fundamentals. I'd look at what it is you are attracted to about him. Are you envious of his traits? Do you see his attitudes as something you may wish to incorporate into your own life?

It's stifling sometimes to have the weighty expectations, yours and everyone else's, of being who is expected. It sounds like you don't really know who YOU are. You see a plan that goes from A-B with checklist boxes ticked and ending in a routine life. It's comfortable. It's boring. It drives you mad. Any of this sound familiar?

Where are YOU when you're conforming to expectations, conforming to societal conventions?

It may not be that you 'like' him per say, it may be you want to BE more like him, even if in smaller degrees.

Having said that I'll caveat that what I look for in a partner is someone who firstly is my best friend, and secondly makes me try to be a better person because they are the best. They give me an example of who I want to aspire to be. But then sometimes love is illogical and blind xD

Anyway,

Good Luck!

~ Clara

I like that style of detachment when advice giving, it allows more flexibility to explore intentions and emotions, and there interplay with logic.

But at times I keep it short and blunt because I don't have much time to do the extrapolation you do with some OP's.

If someone wants more in-depth ness, then I welcome PM's.