Non binary awareness

[ptz7649]

To put a label on it, I identify as non binary gender. (Still in the closet.)

This means that I don't identify as "male" or "female", the two genders within the gender binary. To put it simply in my own terms, I'm sort of an "in between" gender.
There are many Identities under this umbrella term including genderqueer, genderfluid, agender and lots more.

Ive felt this way for a few years and I've only known about non binary identities for about a year. I googled it (not feeling m or f) and the term instantly clicked.

My question is: how many people actually know about non-binary identities and believe that people like me exist?!

This is the main barrier stopping me from telling my parents about me because I'm guessing they'd have no idea what it is! Yes, I can educate them, but still there's so little awareness. How will people at school get it? Teachers? We're not even recognised in the uk and I don't know how I'm going to explain this to people, use public bathrooms, tick male or female on forms and all the medical stuff!

I'm so confused and scared because it feels like there's no one else like me in the real world. (Not just on vt).

My parents are way less likely to accept something they don't understand and they won't be happy about me knowing all of these non male/female identities. They'll probally ban me from the Internet or something.

Do you know anyone who doesn't identify as strictly either male/female? (Including yourself).
Thanks for reading this,
Axel.

[Elysium]

I'm not sure about education, awareness, coming out to people, etc. That seems so daunting in how monumental an undertaking it is. That said, I have two friends who identify as non-binary in some fashion and prefer they/them pronouns. One of them is out to their immediate family and friends as well I'm pretty sure and to my knowledge, their family does their best to accommodate and use the correct pronouns and all. The other friend lives in an extremely conservative state and just about every adult around them is horribly homophobic, let alone sensitive to gender fluidity, so I don't think they're out to family. They might be out to their mother but I don't remember. I think their friends know, though. Their boyfriend must.

I myself identify as a cisgender girl.

[West Coast Sheriff]

I only know non binary on here but, not in person.

I am currently writing a research paper on gender identification and I include a some stuff on genderqueer.

[Karkat]

I personally came out to friends as bigender in early 2014, and I have a few friends who are gender-questioning/nonbinary or who have come out as something under the nonbinary umbrella.

[Hyper]

I'm aware of the ''phenomena''

And I think it's mostly horrible neo feminism ****

You may be confused about gender identity, a lot of people might be, but this kind of INSANE pressure being put on identity based on factors you can't change is unbelievably bad for mental health, especially for young teens.

'' Respect my pronouns '' etc.... Blargh... I honestly can't write a long coherent post about this right now, probably already ''triggered'' a lot of people on VT and so on.

But to reiterate I find this obsession with identity based on ''what you are'' to be bad on so many levels I can't help but cuss at it.

[Bluebyrd]

I don't speak to any but there is one in my year. Female to male and she/he doesn't seem to have any problems. Of course there are the dicks that just drop the odd comment here and there but you'll always get that no matter what. All the teachers don't say anything either.

[ptz7649]

I'm aware of the ''phenomena''

And I think it's mostly horrible neo feminism ****

You may be confused about gender identity, a lot of people might be, but this kind of INSANE pressure being put on identity based on factors you can't change is unbelievably bad for mental health, especially for young teens.

'' Respect my pronouns '' etc.... Blargh... I honestly can't write a long coherent post about this right now, probably already ''triggered'' a lot of people on VT and so on.

But to reiterate I find this obsession with identity based on ''what you are'' to be bad on so many levels I can't help but cuss at it.

Sorry, I don't understand. Was that triggering for some people?if so I'm really sorry and what should I do about that?

Also, I am scared because I have had very serious mental health issues and now I'm for the most part over that, exploring my identity became a "safe" way for me to focus on something else.

It doesn't feel safe anymore as I'm "I'm obsessed" and I literally can't stop thinking about my gender identity. Is this a big problem? That's why I thought telling my parents might help but now I'm stressed and a bad reaction would make it worse.

it's hard to just "not out pressure on myself to find "what you are"

Axel

[Hyper]

Sorry, I don't understand. Was that triggering for some people?if so I'm really sorry and what should I do about that?

Also, I am scared because I have had very serious mental health issues and now I'm for the most part over that, exploring my identity became a "safe" way for me to focus on something else.

It doesn't feel safe anymore as I'm "I'm obsessed" and I literally can't stop thinking about my gender identity. Is this a big problem? That's why I thought telling my parents might help but now I'm stressed and a bad reaction would make it worse.

it's hard to just "not out pressure on myself to find "what you are"

Axel

That's exactly the point I was making...

It shouldn't be about ''what you are'' it should be about ''who you are''

You can't do a damn thing about what you are so worrying about it is just silly - I'm not a fan of the myriad gender identities neo-progressivism and 3rd wave feminism have crafted but that's a whole different topic all together.

Any kind of concern or obsession about something you can't possibly change is bad for you. You can't change your sexuality, race or gender (well not overnight anyway for the latter) and there is nothing that can be inherently wrong about these things.

What you have control over is who you are, how you behave with & towards others, what interests you pursue, how you spend your free time, what education & career you ultimately choose to follow - stuff that you do every day and that make up you as an individual that's who you are - the ''what'' is irrelevant.

That's my take on it anyway...

As for your parents wether or not you trust them enough to ask for help is up to your own personal judgement. If you are truly obsessing over your ''gender identity'' then it is time to seek help.

Honestly I can't think of a bad reaction other then them laughing it off or not understanding wtf a gender identity is in the first place, but I would assume that the fact you are even thinking about talking to your parents means you trust them just a little to care about you and support you, so if you explain that you are suffering because of it and what it is I'd be inclined to believe they'd understand, at least understand the fact that you want help.

[DoodleSnap]

I'm aware of the ''phenomena''

And I think it's mostly horrible neo feminism ****

You may be confused about gender identity, a lot of people might be, but this kind of INSANE pressure being put on identity based on factors you can't change is unbelievably bad for mental health, especially for young teens.

'' Respect my pronouns '' etc.... Blargh... I honestly can't write a long coherent post about this right now, probably already ''triggered'' a lot of people on VT and so on.

But to reiterate I find this obsession with identity based on ''what you are'' to be bad on so many levels I can't help but cuss at it.
"neo-feminism" Whoa - easy there, bud. Hold on to your fedora.

Actually, third genders and fluid genders have existed in cultures unaffected by abrahamic religion for hundreds, if not thousands of years. Fundamentally, there is no good reason for gender roles to exist in our intellect-based, modern meritocratic society.

And although I paraphrase, there is an excellent quote that says something along the lines of "if gender roles truly were something that we are all born with, then why do we keep having to force children to abide by them?". That doesn't even touch on the fact that biologically one can be intersex, and that many studies on sexuality and gender have found that it is much more fluid than most realise...

But, this isn't RoTW, so I'll leave it at 'don't be so anti-SJW that you disagree with everything they say regradless of whether it is right or not'.

As for the OP, yes, I do know a person who identifies as genderfluid, although there is still very little awareness of gender, and what it means, to this day.

[Hyper]

But, this isn't RoTW, so I'll leave it at 'don't be so anti-SJW that you disagree with everything they say regradless of whether it is right or not'.


Yet you felt the need to represent an ideological viewpoint while vaguely referring to some studies, you don't source, and make general statements that essentially strawmanned what I said, rather than just accepting my opinion and leaving it to be - well done.

Indeed this isn't RoTW :D

[Living For Love]

Mod note: please avoid going off topic, let's focus instead on answering the OP's question. Thank you. :)

[DoodleSnap]

Yet you felt the need to represent an ideological viewpoint while vaguely referring to some studies, you don't source, and make general statements that essentially strawmanned what I said, rather than just accepting my opinion and leaving it to be - well done.

Indeed this isn't RoTW :D
You're right enough. Apologies for being so rude, I shouldn't have let how I felt affect others.