Turmoil again

[Cadanance00]

Okay. 3rd period study hall and I still can't concentrate. This girl just keeps me in turmoil. Her ex is coming home on spring break and she wants to "get together" with him. So we had an argument about whether this was an open relationship or what and she asked if I would like to do a threesome!

Man! Okay she saw him over Christmas and we worked that out, but I had never even considered it. It was like getting hit in the face. I have absolutely no desire to see Brillo naked, much less humping my gf. (That's what I call him cuz his hair looks like steel wool).

I love her and her family is friends of ours but should I just can the whole thing and say fuck it?

[DoodleSnap]

You're not obligated to do anything that you don't want to. I can say that open relationships can have very mixed results from personal experience, but if you wan't to give it a go, you have to be very honest and open with everyone involved.

[Vlerchan]

I'm going to be entirely honest.

I'd break up with her.

From what I've read it seems you're very uncomfortable with this. I'd recommend a last chat where you attempt to set boundaries - whatever you genuinely want: and not just whatever you feel is required to rescue the relationship. But odds are if you're communicating this properly so far then she doesn't care: or at least care enough that she'll divert. The fact that it seeps into unrelated activities indicates a level of stress that should be seeping through into conversation. That she isn't picking this up - and is rather attempting to placate you with sex - is a really bad sign.

Tangential to this is not to let it get you down. I'm sure you've thought of the reasons behind her behaviour and you can be pretty assured it has nothing to do with you. The fact that this sounds like your first serious girlfriend is pretty shitty but you'll find pretty quickly that when you find the right person all your experiences prior just aren't going to matter.

If you're comfortable an open-relationship is possible but I wouldn't start convincing yourself that rescuing a monogamous relationship will happen. It's possible - of course - but I honestly wouldn't be making deciding on this with this in mind.

Goodluck in whatever you decide anyways.

[Babs]

First off, you're 15. You shouldn't be having a threesome even if you wanted to.

Secondly, clearly you and her want different things and that is causing some complications that are strange to say the least.

I think you should break it off. The whole thing reeks.

[Cadanance00]

I'm going to be entirely honest.

If you're comfortable an open-relationship is possible ........


Thanks for taking time to answer. It made me think about a lot of things. No, I'm not comfortable. That's the problem. I think what sets me off is I'm the accidental product of an open relationship and I don't want anything to do with it.

[Uniquemind]

Thanks for taking time to answer. It made me think about a lot of things. No, I'm not comfortable. That's the problem. I think what sets me off is I'm the accidental product of an open relationship and I don't want anything to do with it.

You should probably tell her this. That deep down that's a core pillar of why going down this road disturbs you and the future you want to build with her.

You're looking for a relationship that's super super insulated, and safe and intimate.

The idea of sex (which brings with it emotions) irritates the personal bond of many formerly exclusive couples.

She obviously enjoys sex immensely with this other guy, so much so that he's memorable to her in an addictive way AND/OR she has feelings for the other guy.