Not Allowed to Date

[Beach_Blonde]

Does anyone's parents no allow them to date? Like what do they do to make sure your not in a relationship.....

ONly reason I'm asking is because my father is freaking out over my sister having a boyfriend/wanting to have a boyfriend

[Tesserax]

Mine are like that. My dad's only worried about the sex, he basically wants me to only have a female best friend at the most.

However, they don't monitor me too closely. If I tell them that I'm going out with friends, they believe me. But only because I have only ever gone out with friends in the past.

But you're young, be patient and wait until people mature, or you may have your heart broken for foolish reasons. Wait until you're at least 15

[Beach_Blonde]

I think a part of being young is experiencing things like heart break, and having crazy heart reeling relationships.

And no offense but my father has said the same thing about waiting......I just don't really see the point I guess.

[Uniquemind]

I think a part of being young is experiencing things like heart break, and having crazy heart reeling relationships.

And no offense but my father has said the same thing about waiting......I just don't really see the point I guess.

It's a mixed bag. Everyone handles it differently, and I know that's clique to say, but breakups aren't always something the individual can endure healthily.

I have more than a few girlfriends who I've known since kindergarten or preK, who are different now or carry emotional baggage because of breakups.

The experience can make you wiser, but it can also make you overtly paranoid, depressed, dependent on outside lovability and sexual attention, to define self-worth and happiness.

So both you AND your father are right, it's just a non-black and white thing.

The wisest course of action is to negotiate with a parent and get to the core of what about having a relationship upsets them or makes them uneasy. Address that, concede to supervised dates or having the door open or hanging out in the living room when their over.

Don't go into a yelling match of this or that? Or "you hate me, or I hate you" speeches to the folks, that rarely gets you what you want in the end.

[West Coast Sheriff]

I think you are still very young. Young teenagers still have a lot to learn before jumping into friendships, I think 15 or sixteen is an appropriate age. Maturity levels play a big role because some people might be ready for a relationship at 14; some aren't ready at 19. Your parents are only watching out for your safety and want the best.

[Beach_Blonde]

It's a mixed bag. Everyone handles it differently, and I know that's clique to say, but breakups aren't always something the individual can endure healthily.

I have more than a few girlfriends who I've known since kindergarten or preK, who are different now or carry emotional baggage because of breakups.

The experience can make you wiser, but it can also make you overtly paranoid, depressed, dependent on outside lovability and sexual attention, to define self-worth and happiness.

So both you AND your father are right, it's just a non-black and white thing.

The wisest course of action is to negotiate with a parent and get to the core of what about having a relationship upsets them or makes them uneasy. Address that, concede to supervised dates or having the door open or hanging out in the living room when their over.

Don't go into a yelling match of this or that? Or "you hate me, or I hate you" speeches to the folks, that rarely gets you what you want in the end.


I don't think it will ever be that easy for me. I don't think I can go to my dad and say I like girls and have him understand. I guess this is just going to be a long overly complicated thing for me.

I must say I'm surprised a lot of you are advising me to wait. It's kinda cool and interesting.

[Uniquemind]

I don't think it will ever be that easy for me. I don't think I can go to my dad and say I like girls and have him understand. I guess this is just going to be a long overly complicated thing for me.

I must say I'm surprised a lot of you are advising me to wait. It's kinda cool and interesting.

Are your parents homophobic? Is it a religious thing? Also do you consider yourself just lesbian or bi?

Yeah we're challenging you to think, but we aren't exactly saying no to you because ultimately you will do what you want.

Or at least that's how I view my advice giving here, best service I can provide you as a fellow human being, is to expand your understanding on the cause and effects of what path you want to walk down.

[ClaraWho]

Personally I'm banned from dating or they'll send me to a different school :/. Didn't stop me though. XD

From what I see of friends though, and especially teenage guys, is that relationships below the age of 17/18 don't mean much. Everyone I know older than that says in hindsight they can see how misguided both partners were (with rare exceptions obviously - but at the time they all thought they were the rare exception). There's no rush and it seems like you don't even have a best friend you've fallen in love with anyway, so dating wouldn't really mean much.

~ Clara