What is sexuality when you're not a guy or a girl?

[wabg15]

I am really confused about a lot of things gender sexuality my past everything. I'm 15. And I've been with three guys. One through sexual abuse. The other one was basically consentual and I was physically attracted to him. And the other was with this guy currently that I'm like in a v ery discreet relationship with. The thing is. I don't and never did identify as a boy or even really a girl. I look at myself in the mirror and I look like a girl actually. But that will probably change. I was diagnosed last fall with an intersex condition. So knowing that makes me have more issues with having a new body well appearance. I don't really have a say in it though. But I don't really feel like I am a guy. And biologically I'm neither. So where does that leave me? I'm generally more feminine my only best friend is a girl. And I like to dress more I guess feminine than masculine. And on top of that I do find men attractive. I don't know if that's just because I'm messed up or actually I naturally feel that way. I only had crushes on girls before when I was like 9 and under. And I didn't really want to have sex with guys until the sexual abuse. But I find either male or female bodies that are in shape attractive. What does this make me as far gender and sexuality? And would the sexual abuse have to do with this? And what does it make my bf? JW?

[Bluebyrd]

Why do you have to label yourself. It's clear that you're very flexible in terms of gender and sexuality so why don't you keep it like that instead of giving yourself a name which just says to people "I'm this".

[northy]

What does it matter? You seem concerned that you need a label and most people on here will tell you that you don't. Do what you feel most comfortable with, your gut instinct as such. You can identify with whatever you want to, if that is nothing binary, so what? And as for your boyfriend, he's obviously a boyfriend to you as that is what you call him. If you want to know what his sexuality is, ask him. It's his decision to make, not ours.

[wabg15]

What does it matter? You seem concerned that you need a label and most people on here will tell you that you don't. Do what you feel most comfortable with, your gut instinct as such. You can identify with whatever you want to, if that is nothing binary, so what? And as for your boyfriend, he's obviously a boyfriend to you as that is what you call him. If you want to know what his sexuality is, ask him. It's his decision to make, not ours.

Well it's confusing for me because Idk if it's real. And then I don't also know if my condition is the reason this is because like I don't like being on top. I actually can't. And I mean like I think I was interested in girls originally. But now it's just like I don't get girls that are interested in me because I am fat and ugly and don't look like other guys do.

Also I was just curious because he normally only likes girls. And I look like a girl for now. Which I've felt like when I look more like a guy he'll probably not be interested in me the same.

[ptz7649]

This is the 21st century! No one care how you label yourself and if they do, society knows they're in the wrong so don't worry about a thing!
My gender identity is non binary (closeted) and I'm attracted to males. I agree that it's really confusing if you aren't male or female BUT you're mainly attracted to one gender. In the end I decided that I don't need a label and I can just say I'm attracted to males to anyone who asks, but it look me a long time to think that. Sorry if that's not very helpful.

[wabg15]

This is the 21st century! No one care how you label yourself and if they do, society knows they're in the wrong so don't worry about a thing!
My gender identity is non binary (closeted) and I'm attracted to males. I agree that it's really confusing if you aren't male or female BUT you're mainly attracted to one gender. In the end I decided that I don't need a label and I can just say I'm attracted to males to anyone who asks, but it look me a long time to think that. Sorry if that's not very helpful.

I'm honestly attracted to anyone. I'm not specifically attracted to only guys. It's a bit confusing because I don't know really if I really want to become a guy or not. That's my dilemma since my own body won't do it on its own. I've felt like confused on if I even want to live my life as a man or a woman. And I'm totally unsure about that

[ptz7649]

I'm honestly attracted to anyone. I'm not specifically attracted to only guys. It's a bit confusing because I don't know really if I really want to become a guy or not. That's my dilemma since my own body won't do it on its own. I've felt like confused on if I even want to live my life as a man or a woman. And I'm totally unsure about that

Sorry, I think I had misunderstood, if you are attracted to all genders, then (if you wanted a term), you would probally be pansexual(attracted to all genders). (Which works because you can be any gender and be attracted to any gender!)

You don't have to be a man or woman, you can be both, a combination, either or neither, and that's ok. Some assholes won't like it, but that's their problem and most will try to understand. If you want to be male or female or any gender, that's something you'll need to figure out, but honestly? Do it in your own time. Do what you find comfortable and express yourself in a way that you feel is true to yourself. That's the best way to work it out.

[DoodleSnap]

I have always been an advocate of not rushing to label one's-self in regards to sexuality, but I can see it being more of an issue with gender. Maybe picking up some fashion magazines and reading about different fashions for different genders would be a good way to understand what you like, and where you want to go with your gender identity.

[wabg15]

Sorry, I think I had misunderstood, if you are attracted to all genders, then (if you wanted a term), you would probally be pansexual(attracted to all genders). (Which works because you can be any gender and be attracted to any gender!)

You don't have to be a man or woman, you can be both, a combination, either or neither, and that's ok. Some assholes won't like it, but that's their problem and most will try to understand. If you want to be male or female or any gender, that's something you'll need to figure out, but honestly? Do it in your own time. Do what you find comfortable and express yourself in a way that you feel is true to yourself. That's the best way to work it out.

yeah I agree that's the best description thanks.