Advice on this girl...Please! Anything!!

[Beast101]

Okay so there is this girl I talk to off and on. I feel like we may have something that we can start but the only thing keeping me from moving to the next step is her interest I think she has in another guy. A few months ago we were talking pretty hardcore and stuff but little did I know she was talking to another guy at the same time. So I confronted her about it and she pretty much said we, as in me and her, shouldn't talk to each other anymore. This move made basically saying she chose the other guy. Well tunes out that the other guy is obsessive and always wanted to know what she was doing at every second of the day. So turns out she tries avoiding him but he doesn't stop trying to get in contact with her. Besides the point. Now we have kinda started talking back up again, but I know she somehow overlooks the way this other guys acts and still talks to him. When we do talk it is for like a couple of days and then it kinda slows down a bit. It's almost like her mind changes by week of who she wants to talk to. So basically why I am saying this is should I try to move to the next step with her or should I just leave it, or maybe confront her about it all and find out what she says. Any advice is greatly appreciated and will most defiantly be taken into consideration....P.S I know this is a lot of just jumbled up info but if you can get anything out of it that can help let me know! Thanks!

[StoppingTime]

Well you probably won't like my answer, but in reality, the only way you can know is to ask her. Going on guesses, observations, or assumptions you've made about her/who she's with will only go so far, as you've probably seen. So I'd go ahead and ask her so long as you don't think it'd potentially ruin a friendship you might already have with her. If that's the case, I'm not sure it'd be worth it.

[SillyShyGuy]

At this point she might be doubting her choice of choosing the other guy if she has not already. Now that she is talking to you again you must seize this opportunity and ask her on a date before you stop talking to her.

[hesaidhesaid]

Ask her while you have the chance. You have nothing to lose- except the money on the first date. But if you really like her, then I don't think you would have an issue about spending money on that date right? Didn't think so.

P.S. Type in paragraphs. Amazing invention and works for all cases.

[Uniquemind]

From what it sounds like she's conflicted, and her mind is juggling that as well as going into defense mode, because this other guy triggered red flags, and it's messing with her head, and doesn't quite know how to process her feelings and logical thoughts about how to react to both this other guy, and you.

You're feeling the ripple effects, which probably don't have anything to do with you.

Be patient, guide her and take the lead in organizing private hangout time. Get closer to her and then ask her out on a first date when the atmosphere is right.

Don't accuse her of stuff, but gently ask her if she's been conflicted about something lately, because you're getting that vibe from her, if she brushes you off accept it and focus on having fun and shift the question to what type of movie, or shop she wants to browse next.

[TheSirGuy]

Watch some YouTube on body language and figure out whether she likes you or not.

[Beast101]

Thanks for all the replies!!! Greatly appreciated. Well first off I have already been on a date with her which was done while I was talking to her the first time we were talking. Since then I have not done anything more than ride around once just talking about random shit. But to this day I feel she talks to this other guy because I think she loves the attention he gives her. So pretty much I would love to ask her if she has anything to do with this other guy but I don't won't to jeopardize anything we have. But then again I feel like if I just stay the way we are, she will lose interest and move on. Mostly cause I get the vibe she can move on quickly. But then again if info ask I don't want to ruin anything we have. So still not sure what the hell to do.....

[Lachy]

If you're feeling brave you should ask her on a date :)

Sorry, Apparently you have already been on a date. Well in that case you should take her out again. Don't just do one date and let it die bro.

[ClaraWho]

Okay, this is a rather confusing post...

From what you said originally you weren't dating, you were just friends. On that basis confronting her for talking to another guy was overly possessive, and I can see why it would make her want to distance herself from you.

If you were dating, but only dated once, I'd say you had your chance and it didn't work out. My advice would be either ask her out directly for a final answer, you won't lose anything worthwhile, or just try to move on.

I would say if you feel she could move on quickly, then she probably doesn't have any real feelings for you anyway and that won't change, you've been friends for a while now. Might be time to take a hint.

Perhaps you can clarify? Good luck either way,

~ Clara

[Beast101]

Yea the whole situation is confusing. But I have decided there isn't anything worth fighting for. I feel like I'm fighting for someone who doesn't care to be fought for.

[Uniquemind]

Yea the whole situation is confusing. But I have decided there isn't anything worth fighting for. I feel like I'm fighting for someone who doesn't care to be fought for.

You are made wiser for having the ability to sense this.

She'll make another opportunity known if the winds change.