Weird

[Giannaras]

So I am just over-protective with my best friends(1 guy and 1 girl)they are like brother-sister to me and I am to them,we always have each other first choice and all that.But for example if one of my besties goes out and I/we don't want to go and we call let's say after 3 hour or so to see if we will plan anything and he/she doesn't pick up the call or closes it for some reason I get really paranoid like ''oh my god is he/she ok?Maybe he/she is dead or sth like that'' or ''What if I did sth wrong and I don't know it?What if someone said sth to him/her that isn't true and seemed true and now are mad at me?'' and things like that cross my mind.I just don't know if it's normal I love them both and they both love me and we tell each other that once in a while but when paranoia kicks in my mind all hell breaks loose.I just don't know why am I thinking like that...It feels frustrating and really energy-draining most of the times because in the end everything is fine.Can you relate to this?But sometimes I am thinking is this too much caring or just me being a weirdo?

[amgb]

I can relate, I don't think this is weird at all. Normal is different for everyone. I regard this over-protectiveness as very normal, because I'm hugely protective of my friends. One of my close friends, we're exactly like sisters, and I'm constantly worried about her. When she's not with me I worry, I want to call her and text her and see what she's up to, see if she's okay. If I can't reach her, I start getting really anxious, and then when I hear from her or see her again the sense of relief that settles in my body is so strong. It's perfectly alright to be overly-protective sometimes of someone you love, just try not to let it ruin your time. Like, you could still have a good day without overly worrying about your friend. It likely seems impossible, but have trust that your friends will be able to handle themselves. Maybe before they go somewhere you could always let a friend know to give you a call or a message every now and then so you won't worry as much. But I understand you, I understand how frustrating and energy-draining it is.

[West Coast Sheriff]

I tend to be over protective of my younger cousin. I don't think it's healthy but, it's normal and certainly not weird.

[ClaraWho]

So I am just over-protective with my best friends(1 guy and 1 girl)they are like brother-sister to me and I am to them,we always have each other first choice and all that.But for example if one of my besties goes out and I/we don't want to go and we call let's say after 3 hour or so to see if we will plan anything and he/she doesn't pick up the call or closes it for some reason I get really paranoid like ''oh my god is he/she ok?Maybe he/she is dead or sth like that'' or ''What if I did sth wrong and I don't know it?What if someone said sth to him/her that isn't true and seemed true and now are mad at me?'' and things like that cross my mind.I just don't know if it's normal I love them both and they both love me and we tell each other that once in a while but when paranoia kicks in my mind all hell breaks loose.I just don't know why am I thinking like that...It feels frustrating and really energy-draining most of the times because in the end everything is fine.Can you relate to this?But sometimes I am thinking is this too much caring or just me being a weirdo?

I'm going to disagree for the first time with the lovely mod above on this one.

This sounds to me like anxiety, particularly when you say 'what if they don't like me anymore or I did something wrong'. That's quite a needy, insecure position to be in and obviously not good for your wellbeing.

Why are you so worried about being rejected/abandoned? Did something happen in the past similar?

On the other hand, some people just worry a lot. I'm a bit like that if my brother doesn't reply when he is out late, or if he doesn't call when he usually would. But there is a clear distinction between what Andmore and I are saying here (albeit hers is with a close friend, it reads like real love). Your experience differs in that you are describing that fear of them not liking you anymore.

If you can speak to a therapist it would help, but there's no reason you can't help yourself either. Look out for signs of the following;

1. Negative thought patterns.

For example you know in advance how you will feel before the cycle happens.

2. Fortune-telling

This is where you 'predict' the future 'they won't talk to me again'. Write down the thoughts you have on a sheet of paper, leaving a space beneath. Every time you are proved wrong, put down a tally. It'll help you realise you cannot trust your own thoughts on this.

3. Generalisations

'Why would anyone want to be my friend'. Again this follows on with you cannot know everything that will happen or how everyone will think.

Andmore's advice about asking them to text may help in the short term, but you don't want to act out your insecurities on the relationships. Sometimes people drive those they love away because they feel they will lose them anyway, but this way it is on their terms. For that I refer back to the digits above :3.

Hope this helps,

~ Clara