Weird boyfriend ?

[tulolita2015]

Hi to all !! I just have this new boyfriend for one month so far, he is pretty older than me (more than 40) but e look a lot younger. Well he is been very nice with me, romantic, gentleman, great lover, etc... My only concern is he asked me to keep my school uniform every time we going to make love and he dont want me to take a bath or wash my private part. I asked him why and he said he loves my natural woman smell specially down there? well i will like to know if someone had been in any experience like this, thanks.

[Elysium]

Hold on a second. This guy is more than 40 years older than you? Am I reading that correctly? Whether or not that's the case (but especially if that's the case), the implication associated with insisting you keep your school uniform on is kind of disturbing.

Also, Puberty for Girls :arrow: Relationships and Dating

[lyhom]

Hi to all !! I just have this new boyfriend for one month so far, he is pretty older than me (more than 40) but e look a lot younger. Well he is been very nice with me, romantic, gentleman, great lover, etc... My only concern is he asked me to keep my school uniform every time we going to make love and he dont want me to take a bath or wash my private part. I asked him why and he said he loves my natural woman smell specially down there? well i will like to know if someone had been in any experience like this, thanks.

tbh I'm more concerned about how you say you're going out with a guy more than 40 years your senior.

[everlong]

I'm going to agree with lyhom and Elysium, this age gap is a problem all on its own in my opinion.

[tulolita2015]

Nooo 40 older lol he is 40

[Elysium]

Nooo 40 older lol he is 40
That's still way too fucking much. That is downright pedophilia, do you realize that? That he can and should probably be arrested..? I know I'm not reacting very gently and I apologize for that, but this is such a disturbing situation for you to be in.

[Babs]

uhhhhhhhh the whole school uniform thing is disturbing and not washing yourself is unhealthy

this dude sounds like a pervert, sorry

[StoppingTom]

http://bossip.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/katt-williams.jpg?w=700

i am glad i'm not the only one who sees the wrong in this

[West Coast Sheriff]

uhhhhhhhh the whole school uniform thing is disturbing and not washing yourself is unhealthy

this dude sounds like a pervert, sorry

I couldn't have phrased it better myself. The man shouldn't be dating a teenager. The fact he wants you to wear this uniform demonstrates mental instability. And asking you to be unclean, is dangerous and unhealthy. It's disturbing. My question, and sorry if this offends you, why do you date him? He's older and this could be unsafe.

[tulolita2015]

Well first he is 40 and I am 18. He is accepted it in my family. I wrote this because I was courious in his behavior I am always clean and never been in a dangerous situation with him.

[West Coast Sheriff]

Well first he is 40 and I am 18. He is accepted it in my family. I wrote this because I was courious in his behavior I am always clean and never been in a dangerous situation with him.

Just be careful because when you like someone all the red flags just look like flags.

The schoolgirl outfit interest he has in somewhat unnerving. It may be the result of underlying psychological issues.

[dbfordateam]

Scary situation still. 22 years is a huge gap in age. Be safe. Be smart. Be healthy. Also don't let a relationship like this tie you up. Live your life as a teenager, date guys your age.

[Tesserax]

Alright, it's legal which is a good step. But I must warn you, somebody that is 22 years older, like, the age gap is greater than your own age, he may know how to manipulate a young mind and you must be careful and tread carefully. He may simply want you for sex, it's entirely possible, make sure you establish and be sure of a strong emotional connection, otherwise it's probably just for sex

[ClaraWho]

That's still way too fucking much. That is downright pedophilia, do you realize that? That he can and should probably be arrested..? I know I'm not reacting very gently and I apologize for that, but this is such a disturbing situation for you to be in.

At least this way I don't have mods telling me off for saying the same thing lol...

Basically this. Just so many degrees of Wrong.

The fact you were molested as a child should be considered as a factor in why you may seek out unhealthy relationships with older men, a repeat of the abuse cycle. Might be worth seeing a therapist.

~ Clara

[Uniquemind]

At least this way I don't have mods telling me off for saying the same thing lol...

Basically this. Just so many degrees of Wrong.

The fact you were molested as a child should be considered as a factor in why you may seek out unhealthy relationships with older men, a repeat of the abuse cycle. Might be worth seeing a therapist.

~ Clara

TOTALLY! Back what Clara said, 100%.


Now I'm gonna not judge at all on the morality of this. That's not my call.

The ONLY important thing is how YOU feel about his requests, and the implication of how much control he has over you versus your own will.

For instance if not washing bugs you, DON'T honor that request, and then if he is bitter or vindictive about your push back, THEN you'll know if there's a variable of objectification and unequal footing or unequal power in the relationship.


If it is unequal, then the relationship qualifies as abusive.

I don't like measuring the nature of relationships based on calendar criteria alone, unlike many others who go with that view based on what society has generally gone with to the point of ad nauseum.

This gives me a very unique perspective regarding the age gap problem. Generally speaking though calendar age is a barometer indicator though that's generally a good test, but it should by no means be a dogmatic policy.

[Harley Quinn]

That is downright pedophilia, do you realize that?

But, it's not? There's nothing illegal, she's 18? Don't be ridiculous.

[Uniquemind]

But, it's not? There's nothing illegal, she's 18? Don't be ridiculous.

Elysium didn't realize the OP was 18, at the time of that quoted post.

So it's an attribution error.

[tulolita2015]

Pedophilia? and i am 18? wow that is huge word for a legal relatioship. Also he asked for diff uniforms its just a matter of fantasy i realized, and for the thing of not to get wash he know i am always clean he just like my natural smell, thanks for the advices although some comments are really ridiculous, thanks anyway.

[angelina]

Well first he is 40 and I am 18. He is accepted it in my family. I wrote this because I was courious in his behavior I am always clean and never been in a dangerous situation with him.

Hi...tulolita..you are 18 and you are in the legal age and it will NOT come under PaeDophilia as some one says...
He seems to be a simple and open minded man and he likes the natural in you , i came to understand through the net that some men are like that. If it is ok for you and your family ..continue the friendship...no problem at all..You are so smart and sure you will choose the right way...But be careful in taking all the possible protection when making love.

[Shiny Moon]

I think the pedophilia topic is clear now :P

Anyway, it's a lot of years or course, but if you're happy with your relationship and you enjoy being with him, then I don't think it matters what he asks you to do.

Of course I suggest that you wash your parts often lol, because if you don't it could lead to some social issues. I mean, is not nice to be near someone that stinks :P

[Let Me Be a Pony]

Hi...tulolita..you are 18 and you are in the legal age and it will NOT come under PaeDophilia as some one says...
He seems to be a simple and open minded man and he likes the natural in you , i came to understand through the net that some men are like that. If it is ok for you and your family ..continue the friendship...no problem at all..You are so smart and sure you will choose the right way...But be careful in taking all the possible protection when making love.

Yes, you're right - OP is definitely not a sexual object in the eyes of such a man.
Most importantly, don't forget to use lubrication when making sweet love.
Wait, what the fuck am I talking about? Tell your parents!

[Ragle]

The fact he wants you to wear this uniform demonstrates mental instability.

He isn't, just a fuckin fetishist ... but a pedophile too, if she isn't of legal age.

She should break up anyway. That's a unhealthy relationship.

[West Coast Sheriff]

He isn't, just a fuckin fetishist ... but a pedophile too, if she isn't of legal age.

She should break up anyway. That's a unhealthy relationship.

It's a weird fetish.

[mahony0509]

I don't know about you but if I was with a 40 y/o who enjoyed that sorta stuff, I'd be fairly freaked out.

[amgb]

tulolita2015 I haven't experienced a relationship like this, but I'm going to have to say here that this whole thing with him is pretty weird...yes it might be legal and whatnot, but he is a grown man and you are still a teenager. I don't mean to critisize, and I'm not saying this is wrong or right. I'm just concerned about the age gap and his behaviour around you. When he's being very nice and romantic to you, he could in actual fact be manipulating you and taking advantage of your affection for him. I want you to think about that. I really don't want you to go too far down on the road of this relationship, and then realise later on that it might not have been what you wanted. Do you know if this man is married? If he is, then I have to be blunt and he might very well simply be using you for sex. I'm worried and I need you to keep watch on his behaviour, I know you said you've never been in a dangerous situation with him but that does not mean nothing bad could happen. What if there's this one time you refuse to do something he wants you to do because you're uncomfortable with it - if he really wanted that something out of you do you think he would still be nice to you then? I do not want this to turn out to be a full-blown abusive and destructive relationship. Personally I want to and will advise you to call the relationship off, but in the end I know it's up to you, and I can't control that. Just, keep yourself safe, please. Think about what everyone has replied with in this thread, and stay safe.

[Vanilla Cupcake]

Since he is older he may just have a school girl fantasy which is why he wants you to wear your uniform. It's a big turn on for older men.
As for you not washing, that may be another fetish thing for him so if your ok with it just do it, he will love it.
Most men watch a lot of porn and they get all sorts of fetishes from watching it. There's no harm as long as you are ok with it.
Have fun ;)

[West Coast Sheriff]

Since he is older he may just have a school girl fantasy which is why he wants you to wear your uniform. It's a big turn on for older men.
As for you not washing, that may be another fetish thing for him so if your ok with it just do it, he will love it.
Most men watch a lot of porn and they get all sorts of fetishes from watching it. There's no harm as long as you are ok with it.
Have fun ;)

The not washing thing isn't good, (not that I'm an expert because I'm not). However, it's to my understanding that one should stay clean. That's something he has to respect.

As for the fetish, I wonder if there's underlying issues behind it.

[Vanilla Cupcake]

The not washing thing isn't good, (not that I'm an expert because I'm not). However, it's to my understanding that one should stay clean. That's something he has to respect.

As for the fetish, I wonder if there's underlying issues behind it.

Yes I agree you need to wash everyday at some point. Maybe he just wanted her to not wash after school or something.?

[ClaraWho]

Well first he is 40 and I am 18. He is accepted it in my family. I wrote this because I was courious in his behavior I am always clean and never been in a dangerous situation with him.

But, it's not? There's nothing illegal, she's 18? Don't be ridiculous.

Elysium didn't realize the OP was 18, at the time of that quoted post.

So it's an attribution error.

Hi...tulolita..you are 18 and you are in the legal age and it will NOT come under PaeDophilia as some one says...
He seems to be a simple and open minded man and he likes the natural in you , i came to understand through the net that some men are like that. If it is ok for you and your family ..continue the friendship...no problem at all..You are so smart and sure you will choose the right way...But be careful in taking all the possible protection when making love.

I think the pedophilia topic is clear now :P

Anyway, it's a lot of years or course, but if you're happy with your relationship and you enjoy being with him, then I don't think it matters what he asks you to do.

Of course I suggest that you wash your parts often lol, because if you don't it could lead to some social issues. I mean, is not nice to be near someone that stinks :P

Hmm. Well no, not really the end of the peadophile topic. I checked previous posts made to ascertain if abuse had occurred and made a discovery.

OP tulolita2015 claimed in posts made in December 2015 (which I have screenshots of now in case of editing), that she was both 15 AND 16. So apparently the OP, whoever they are, has grown 2 years in a single month. That must have been traumatic for them.

Perhaps this explains the mods confusion as to why they thought the OP was underage.

~ Clara

[tulolita2015]

I dont understand why people keep using pedophilia word. I am not a little child and like i said my family accept him. Maybe in my culture age gap that huge is normal and in others not. Stop judging our relationship please. Thanks.

[angelina]

I dont understand why people keep using pedophilia word. I am not a little child and like i said my family accept him. Maybe in my culture age gap that huge is normal and in others not. Stop judging our relationship please. Thanks.
hi...tutolita..I have already expressed this view elsewhere, considering the legal ages of both of you..it is quite ok if it is devoid of any tribulation in future

[DoodleSnap]

I don't mean to suggest that the man is necessarily a pedophile or hebephile, but the fact that the man is older than you by your entire age does seem... slightly concerning. Compile that with the school uniform fetish, and well, it's... strange.

In regards to him wanting you not to wash, well, that's not good for your health. I would recommend that you wash normally, and simply tell him that it's bad for you not to wash.

But most importantly: your safety is absolutely key. Do not do anything that you don't want to, or anything that you are unsure of. Keep within your comfort zone.

[Ragle]

It's a weird fetish.

Yeah. And in my opinion every fetish is kinda weird. Some more or less, but weird.

But that doesn't necessarily mean that these people are mentally unstable or something.

eg: Would you think your boss is unable to do his job when you hear that he regularly meets a BDSM Mistress to be treated like a slave or worse?

My aunt says: No. She is a therapist and treats such people.

[Uniquemind]

Yeah. And in my opinion every fetish is kinda weird. Some more or less, but weird.

But that doesn't necessarily mean that these people are mentally unstable or something.

eg: Would you think your boss is unable to do his job when you hear that he regularly meets a BDSM Mistress to be treated like a slave or worse?

My aunt says: No. She is a therapist and treats such people.

All true guys. Suspicious this is, but I will reserve judgement, I know personally that I would freaked out and have broken it off.

The no washing thing is a deal breaker for me for ANYBODY.

[amgb]

tulolita2015 I'm aware that you originally posted to ask if others have experienced this kind of relationship before, but when you stated that this man was 40 years old, we just got a bit worried. I'm also aware that your family and your culture is accepting of the relationship, and I am in no means trying to belittle you or upset you, but all in all this man sounds like he is trying to take advantage of you. As I mentioned in my first post here, personally I wouldn't stay in this kind of relationship, but if you are both happy with each other, that's fine. Keep in mind the legal/illegal implications though, I'm not too sure of what they are in the United States. You know that if he ever does anything inappropriate within the relationship, no matter how small of an act that is, you must report it to someone.

Please take care of yourself~

Also, a reminder to everyone to keep comments/posts appropriate and on topic. Please take any unnecessary discussions to PM's. aNdMoRe~

[Harrier]

I dont understand why people keep using pedophilia word. I am not a little child and like i said my family accept him. Maybe in my culture age gap that huge is normal and in others not. Stop judging our relationship please. Thanks.

YOU asked US if he was weird so obviously there's something about him that questions him. Forget about the pedaphilia thing, now we know you're 18, that's over. It's still a big age gap though. For ANY culture. BTW, it says you live graduatedSA (assuming that's correct ) what's your culture? Also, you're 18, but are you in high school still or out? Have you graduated? Is your family OK with him? All of your family?

I'm pretty liberal with age gaps, I think love doesn't see numbers, what you have in common in another question, but besides age gap I worry about his school girl fetish. Sex is supposed to be about compromise while not forcing the other person to ever do something against their will. I get the schoolgirl thing ... but not ALWAYS. When is it you're turn to choose a fetish or roleplay or game? And why doesn't his ever change? And the cleanliness thing is gross. Showering is important. Again, if you two were camping and he said you're funk was a turn on that would be fine. What he shouldn't do is make you do a forever thing that you don't want to do.

[Emerald Dream]

The OP has been banned. :locked: