Torn between two people!

[TAclamperl]

I wanted some input from other people on this subject since here I can speak anonymously, whereas in real life talking to my friends might give me biased answers.

Basically, as the title says, I'm torn between two people who I'm conscious both like me. I really do like them both, but I can't be greedy or unfaithful. I've always been quite scared of being in a relationship, so if I take a step now I don't want to make a wrong decision.

So, what I'm going to do now is compose a list of pros and cons of each of these people and present them to you.

Person A
+ I know them personally and have known them for a long time.
+ Many shared interests.
+ Makes me laugh, often through how they're over the top about things.
+ They have a very warm and pleasant atmosphere.
+ They're my best friend, always there for me.
- They're as unsocial as I am (not very social).
- They seem to want one of those lovey-dovey relationships. I don't do that.
- In the past I feel like I lead them on because I told them I like them back but I didn't want to be in a relationship yet. I've had to reject them like this more than once.

Person B
+ We're still interested in some of the same things.
+ They know 3 languages fluently.
+ They're really intelligent and I can have a really good discussion with them.
+ Really makes me laugh.
+ This one might seem weird, but - I had a tarot card reading (I'm quite spiritual) and she predicted that I'd meet or realise my real soul mate in time. A person who loves travelling and has a warmth that attracts people. I have a feeling she may have meant this person.
- I have not met this person, however I've known them for over a year.
- They're 2 years younger than me (is that even a problem though).
- Fewer interests align than with person 1.


Since I'm really indecisive and my brain does weird things, my feelings for both them waver - I'm really indecisive about everyone, really. One minute I like them and the next minute I'm repulsed by the idea of being with them. So, sometimes I don't even think about this. But it's been bothering me. If you were me, which person would you go with? I don't want to disappoint anyone, but I know that if I take too much time I'll be too late and I can't make everyone happy.

I'll be happy with any advice, input, questions or anything, thanks :)

[West Coast Sheriff]

Stick with the person you know. Having not actually met some one doesn't sound that good. I think an actual bond is forming with the first one. In the end, only you know which person is better for you.

[Uniquemind]

Both situations I say have fatal toxic flaws in them.


It's also possible the tarot card reading was not been fulfilled.

Person A: you can control the level of lovey-dovey ness, but like in person 2.

Fewer interests align, they travel a lot, you never met them.

Those are major negatives in person B, whereas person A should be given a shot.


But in my humble opinion neither are good options. You learn by experience.

[TAclamperl]

Thanks for your opinions. I'll try my best to come to a decision.

[Uniquemind]

Thanks for your opinions. I'll try my best to come to a decision.

If I might add, you don't have to get this right the first time.

Part of the reason why we date is for the trial and error and growing experience of managing oneself in a relationship.

If I had to endorse, I'd say go with person A, especially since you said you led them on.

[TAclamperl]

Okay, thanks. Though I don't think I owe it to him for that, more that I feel bad and that's why it's a negative.

[Uniquemind]

Okay, thanks. Though I don't think I owe it to him for that, more that I feel bad and that's why it's a negative.

You don't owe him that; that's not what I meant at all.


But let's talk then about option A for a moment.

What did you do specifically that made you think you led him on, and why did you reject him other times?

You have to go deeper to really get to the core of why you do what you've done or feel what you do. Only then will the path of what is best and what you want will be revealed to you.

[TAclamperl]

You don't owe him that; that's not what I meant at all.


But let's talk then about option A for a moment.

What did you do specifically that made you think you led him on, and why did you reject him other times?

You have to go deeper to really get to the core of why you do what you've done or feel what you do. Only then will the path of what is best and what you want will be revealed to you.

He told me his feelings for me and I said I felt similarly, but I wasn't ready for anything more than friendship. He said he'd wait until I was and I never got back to him until he told me again and I said the same thing.
The whole idea just makes me cringe, really.

[DoodleSnap]

The most important thing in a relationship is communication: it sounds like the first person, with the background of being your friend, and you having known them and met them for a long time says to me that a romantic relationship is likely to work better with them, or at least if it doesn't work out, you guys will sort it out between you better. Just remember: talking to each other is key.

Just put yourself out there, be honest, and be yourself.

Good luck.