Curiosity become something more

[jsands]

When does being curious become something more than just curious?

I've been in a heterosexual relationship with a girl for 18 months, but we split up. I've only ever been with her.
But I've always looked at gay & straight porn, always peeked in the showers, always wanted to know what I'm missing. So when does this define my sexuality?
I'm not talking about having a great big realisation that I'm gay or bi or whatever, I just want to experience all the things I've never had a chance to and make up my own mind when I have gained that experience. What's wrong with trying new things and having to be called gay or straight?

[UNKNOWN8198]

It's completely normal to be curious. If you look at the majority of posts on here you'll see that most guys are interested in comparing (showers), and quite a few watch gay porn, I think mostly because of the absence of the plot. Your sexuality is only defined by who you are sexually attracted to, so if you are only curious in what experiences you are missing out on then you are still straight.

I do like your view on the whole thing though, just because you are straight does not by any means restrict what you can do. If you want to go out an experience all you can, I say go for it, and if that changes how you feel then go with the flow. I wouldn't worry about what other people say, so long as you are comfortable with yourself. Good luck!

[warbit]

It is perfectly natural, you could argue that you only genuinely know your sexuality if you have experimented to find out. :)

[pjones]

nothing wrong with exploring sexually, and it doesn't define you to try something a couple of times

[hekohnice]

I was curious for a long time and then I hooked up with a guy and didn't really like it as much as i liked girls.

I guess experiment with someone u trust and see what happens!

[crazyBoyjJ]

I'm still curious, I used to watch gay porn a lot but I stopped. I still would like to experience jerking with a guy in real life mostly and maybe a bj, but that's all.

[DoodleSnap]

Well - labels are only labels - they should describe who you are, not define you.

I think that the important thing is to just try and learn who you are from experience, and to keep an open mind.
Plenty of young people are somewhere in between on the sexuality spectrum; 1 in 2 18-24 year olds in the UK said so here. (https://yougov.co.uk/news/2015/08/16/half-young-not-heterosexual/)

But fundamentally, I don't think that past experience defines your sexuality: I think it's how you feel. If you like boys girls, and whatever else, then in my book, bisexual best describes you.

[Hermes]

A label should serve you, not you it.

if a guy, by virtue of applying the label "gay" to himself realises that he should be seeking his future sexual or romantic partner in a gay bar or gay club rather than oggling the girls in a straight club then that's a case of the label having served him.

By comparison if a guy is round a mate's house, they're getting changed for swimming, he sees his mate's cock, thinks to himself "I wonder what that would feel like in my hand; how different it would be to my own" and the only thing that stops him asking if he can feel it is that he calls himself straight then that's a case of the person serving the label.

I'd say if you have a genuine interest or curiosity and you have someone, of either sex, willing to help you satisfy it, then go for it. if, at the end, how you label yourself has changed slightly then so be it and, if it hasn't then so be that.

[jsands]

I'd say if you have a genuine interest or curiosity and you have someone, of either sex, willing to help you satisfy it, then go for it. if, at the end, how you label yourself has changed slightly then so be it and, if it hasn't then so be that.

Great advice thanks.
If only I did have someone to help me satisfy it, and obviously not just sexually.
I don't want to "come out" as anything as I don't know what I am yet, but that will make it difficult to discover. It's also not something I want to project everywhere, I don't need my family knowing this but I want to be as open as possible to explore within those limits.

I know there isn't an actual answer it's just nice discussing it :)

[West Coast Sheriff]

My understanding has been curious means you are not sure yet. You may find guys appealing but you don't know if you actually like them. Once you've established you like both you can consider yourself bisexual or straight if you don't like it.

[jsands]

My understanding has been curious means you are not sure yet. You may find guys appealing but you don't know if you actually like them. Once you've established you like both you can consider yourself bisexual or straight if you don't like it.

See I'm not sure if it's actually me being curious or maybe just being a sex fiend? I mean sure both guys and girls turn me on, but is that because I just want to have sex/fun as much as possible?

[ska8er]

I cant say I don't have gay feelings for
some guys but idk I feel like im missing out
on something that I would like to experience.

[Zachary G]

When does being curious become something more than just curious?

I've been in a heterosexual relationship with a girl for 18 months, but we split up. I've only ever been with her.
But I've always looked at gay & straight porn, always peeked in the showers, always wanted to know what I'm missing. So when does this define my sexuality?
I'm not talking about having a great big realisation that I'm gay or bi or whatever, I just want to experience all the things I've never had a chance to and make up my own mind when I have gained that experience. What's wrong with trying new things and having to be called gay or straight?

Peeking in the showers or looking at gay or straight porn doesnt define your sexuality as much as it shows your mere curiosity. There is nothing wrong with trying new and exciting things to find out what your likes and dislikes are because experimentation is how we find out the things we like and dont like. Just because you try something once doesnt mean that you have to label yourself one thing or another. Only you can decide what your sexual identity truly is, but know that you dont have to conform to the standards and can be anything you want to.

I dont know if any of what I have said makes any sense, but I am hoping you can get something out of it. If you have questions about any of it, you can feel free to pm me about it and I will be glad to talk with you about it.

[Cadanance00]

I was curious for a long time and then I hooked up with a guy and didn't really like it as much as i liked girls.

I guess experiment with someone u trust and see what happens!

I'm not going to say I did anything with another boy because of the culture around here, but I think your experience is typical.