The physical need to self-harm

[Sayako]

I've been in hospital for four days now. I tried not to cut whilst on constant observation, but my skin crawled and my body felt full to bursting with the utter quantity of myself in it until I caved and opened some skin and let some out. Has anyone else felt this? I'd been self-harming daily for about a year until the admission.

[Syvelocin]

For me, the temptation with self-harming in the hospital, other than of course the rebellion, was that hospitals tended to make me feel even number than real life did. Even though they were like a very twisted refuge for me, they just made me want to self-harm more because I couldn't even feel my depression in there let alone any other normal emotions. The meds encouraged that numbness too though.

Your metaphor is very interesting and I can definitely relate.

[NoName12]

What I think about this subject - even if you feel like self-harming yourself, do 100% what you can not to do it.

[raempu]

I can relate to you. I can't fight the urge to selfharm myself. A couple of weeks ago I went for a weekend to Spain because my dad lives there, and he had a daughter (my halfsister, pretty cute a little baby sister ) so I went to see her for the first time.
My dad doesn't know about my problems or anything so I had to be very careful.
It was pretty warm in Spain so actually I had to wear short sleeves but I couldn't because of my arms and wrists (I bought blouses so I wouldn't have it too warm).
I couldn't cut myself for 3 days and as soon as I got back home I cut and cut and cut.
I don't know if this is a little bit what you mean..
But I have to cut myself otherwise it's not going to be okay..

[xXl0sth0peXx]

I understand exactly how you feel. I haven't been in your shoes persay, but when my parents found out and I absolutely couldn't do it, I got the worst feelings I've ever felt. I absolutely relate to you though, and know you're not alone. x