Things People Shouldn't Say

[davdev17]

What are some things people say to you about depression that you hate?
I really hate it when people say that other people have it worse than me. This just makes me feel worse because I know I shouldn't feel this way because I have lots of great things, but I do feel this way.

[Elysium]

I hate that, too. I also hate when people ask me why. If I knew why, I probably wouldn't be struggling so much, would I? That goes for anxiety, too.

[StoppingTom]

When I was at my lowest, and couldn't even get out of bed, there were people saying I liked feeling like that so I'd get more attention.

[davdev17]

When I was at my lowest, and couldn't even get out of bed, there were people saying I liked feeling like that so I'd get more attention.

People have said that to me too. It sucks.

[Babs]

That you're as happy as you choose to be.

[RiHouse]

"Why do you look so depressed all the time"
"You have no reason to be sad"
"Look at such a good life you have. You have no reason to feel this way"
"life is tough"
"life goes on"
"just go out and enjoy yourself"

and the worst of them all

"cheer up"

If you ever say those words to me I'll knock you the fuck out.

[Melodic]

Here's some classic things I've received from others.

"It isn't that big of a deal. Stop"

I seriously hate when people say this. It's not a big deal to you. It probably won't affect me either later on. My emotions don't have an on/off switch. They happen and then they slowly go away. Sometimes, it just takes me longer than others to get over things.

"Have you tried therapy?"
Yes I have. Therapy taught me great coping skills as well. That doesn't mean it cured me. It just means I can handle it better.

"You should talk to your parents about this"
No kidding. I have no idea why I didn't think of that sooner. *eyeroll*

"Nobody wants to date someone who's depressed or insecure"
lol. who cares?

"You can only control how you feel about things"
The world would seriously be a better place if this was accurate.


And what everyone has stated above.

[Moriya]

"There are other people who have it worse than you!"

I'm sorry, but is this supposed to make me feel better? Because it sure as hell doesn't. :furious:

[amgb]

People have said and I greatly dislike -
Stop faking it.
Don't make excuses.
You need medication. Do you take medication?
If you do _____, you'll feel better.
You don't look depressed.

And probably alot more that I don't even remember. I understand, that when people say all these things they most likely don't understand the situation from the depressed person's eyes. I understand, but it still knocks me down a little every time.

[PinkFloyd]

I myself don't nor have I ever been depressed, but I'm fairly certain that my close friend Alex is. His parents are intelligent, great people, but man, do the things they say piss me off sometimes. Alex has treid to tell them that he is not sad and that he is depressed, and they always brush it off as nothing. They just offer to take him to a movie or bowling or some other recreational activity to quote: perk him back up to being happy.

I know they have good intentions, but seriously... Their child is in dire help and what do they do? They push his cries for help away and take him to see a movie as if his problems don't mean anything to them...

[West Coast Sheriff]

Other people have it worse, do you need to see a shrink, stop it.

Yes I was once told to just stop it.

[City Kid]

That you're as happy as you choose to be.
I've had this said to me, too. I really wish it were true, but it obviously isn't. Especially when it comes to depression. I don't get how people can be so ignorant about the fact that it's a mental illness, not something that you can just switch on and off as you please!

[Sailor Mars]

"You have no reason to be sad"
"Look at such a good life you have. You have no reason to feel this way"
"just go out and enjoy yourself"

This
That you're as happy as you choose to be.
This

And a personal favorite of my dad's, "When I was younger I felt the same way/had the same problem, but guess what, I got over it."

Yeah, so apparently I'm you now right?...Just because you got over whatever you THINK i'm feeling makes my problem insignificant?...

[Desuetude]

When I had depression the thing that made me feel the worst was something like "but you don't look depressed" or "you're not sad all the time" because it made me feel like my thoughts and feelings were null as I wasn't acting depressed 24/7. Its like to have depression or any mental disorder you have to seem like you're struggling all the time or its not real? Eh. Ignorant people suck.

[Primenumber]

When people ask you if you are ok when they know you are not

[Karkat]

"You're not REALLY bipolar. Bipolar people ______"

YES. SO DO I. LEAVE. / There are varying degrees of mental illness. It's not like every person with a certain diagnosis acts PRECISELY THE SAME

"You're just lazy"

Like, really... just go fuck yourself m8

"You have no reason to be depressed"

(This is stupid for ANYONE, but I of all people do very much have 'reason' to be depressed. Even ASIDE from the obvious, you know, fact that I have a mental illness I have no control over)

"Have you tried being happy"

GEE. NO. THE THOUGHT HAD NEVER OCCURRED TO ME.

"You don't want to be bipolar. Stop saying that."

YOU'RE RIGHT. I DON'T. WORK YOUR MAGIC AND MAKE ME MENTALLY STABLE, O WIZARD. Like what the fuck

There are so many stupid things you can hear
And I've just
I've heard em all
Including that I need Jesus because mentally ill people (esp bipolar, apparently) are demon-possessed :)))

I have no assault charges on my record to date
I've gotta say, I'm a very patient person

[City Kid]

There are so many stupid things you can hear
And I've just
I've heard em all
Including that I need Jesus because mentally ill people (esp bipolar, apparently) are demon-possessed :)))
What the fuck?! I don't know whether to laugh or cry after reading this...

[West Coast Sheriff]

When I had depression the thing that made me feel the worst was something like "but you don't look depressed" or "you're not sad all the time" because it made me feel like my thoughts and feelings were null as I wasn't acting depressed 24/7. Its like to have depression or any mental disorder you have to seem like you're struggling all the time or its not real? Eh. Ignorant people suck.

When people ask you if you are ok when they know you are not

"You're not REALLY bipolar. Bipolar people ______"

YES. SO DO I. LEAVE. / There are varying degrees of mental illness. It's not like every person with a certain diagnosis acts PRECISELY THE SAME

"You're just lazy"

Like, really... just go fuck yourself m8

"You have no reason to be depressed"

(This is stupid for ANYONE, but I of all people do very much have 'reason' to be depressed. Even ASIDE from the obvious, you know, fact that I have a mental illness I have no control over)

"Have you tried being happy"

GEE. NO. THE THOUGHT HAD NEVER OCCURRED TO ME.

"You don't want to be bipolar. Stop saying that."

YOU'RE RIGHT. I DON'T. WORK YOUR MAGIC AND MAKE ME MENTALLY STABLE, O WIZARD. Like what the fuck

There are so many stupid things you can hear
And I've just
I've heard em all
Including that I need Jesus because mentally ill people (esp bipolar, apparently) are demon-possessed :)))

I have no assault charges on my record to date
I've gotta say, I'm a very patient person

I think anything that down plays the persons feelings. An outside person doesn't understand and can be unsupportive and/or insensitive. When they make a remark that proves they refuse to accept you are going through something, it shows that they aren't willing to support or help you. Maybe, it's easier for them to deny.

[tovaris]

When they say something like "But why, whats your REASON for being depressed" or "bur its not normal to be depressed for a year, with no REASON on top of it all"

/.../
"You can only control how you feel about things"
/.../

Sometimes controling emotions to much makes it even worse.

[UNKNOWN8198]

"But you were fine earlier"

Something that annoys me is also the fluidity of it, and it seems like whenever I'm in a rut but actually want to talk to someone about it, my friends aren't around or don't want to talk, but whenever I just need some time alone to myself, they can't stop asking what's wrong, and don't seem to understand that at that moment 'people' are not going to help me feel better.

I know they have the best intent most of the time, but it always seems to happen the wrong way around.

Also when I'm not doing well, and they do something nice and expect me to be all cheerful suddenly, and get annoyed when I'm not.

I also agree with the majority of what's been said above.

[Hyper]

That you're as happy as you choose to be.

Otherwise known as the ''Just be/try to be positive!''

[Chapperz16]

You'r a creep

[TheCabbage]

I lost my best friends because they couldn't deal with me being down all the time, they just couldn't understand that 'talking to your parents' or 'thinking positively' 'stop being so negative' simply wasn't really an option...

[Magenta]

I love when parents say "I know how you feel but I have to do things I don't want to everyday and I do them because I have to and I learned to cope with it..." as if somehow making themselves feel good about their accomplishments does ANYTHING for me.

[thatgothgirluknow]

My personal favorite is when my mom says :
Stop victimizing yourself your only upset because you she yourself as a victim im just like hello every time im slightly down does not have to do with my past rape of abuse i do have other feelings and problems too
or the just relax
really? you don't think ive already thought of that

[Sublime Demonz]

I remember coming home from therapy one day and hearing my dad say to my mom, "Why can't she just get over it?". It broke my heart and I cried myself to sleep that night, especially knowing that he said that because he didn't want to pay for the therapy sessions.