Mixed Emotions

[shookupsnowglobe]

This is probably going to be the most messed up account of feelings that you shall ever see.

I'm having real trouble over understanding my feelings for a particular guy.
We have known each other for over a year now, and I now attend his school for sixth form, (I am in year 12).

We get on so well and have literally everything in common, we are like the same person but in a different gender. Haha.

He is the nicest person I have ever met, he's so funny, understanding (he takes the time to understand) and easy to get on with.

I'll just put it out here now that from the moment I met him I had never ruled him out as a boyfriend possibility.

About 3 months back I was getting vibes from him that he liked me, so I asked my best friend (whom he also talks to, not too close but friendly) and she said to me that he told her he liked me. He told her this on a day out we had together while I was at the bathroom or something, but she told him I'd rather keep it friendly. At this point I hadn't any feelings for him.

I confronted him the following day to tell him that I didn't like him that way, through fear he may get hurt if he was picking up vibes from me. He was shocked I picked it up but admitted it. He told me everything about how he'd liked me even since 5 months ago. I was absolutely terrified of losing him so I had to force myself to confront him.

Since that I have brought it up once more because I felt again I was getting vibes and I didn't want him to think anything I was doing meant I liked him. I had him in mind for all of this as I didn't want him hurt. We agreed not to touch on the subject again as it was clear he was having trouble letting go he liked me.

This past couple of months have seen days where I get lost in his eyes and I lose what I'm saying, compulsion to hug him and kiss him and just generally wanting to be with him all the time. But then more days I feel no attraction whatsoever.

He recently lost someone close to him and I cried at home at night because I couldn't stand the thought of him being unhappy. I have a connection with him like no other I have with other guys or girls.

Now this past few weeks I've had days where I just really felt something for him. I knew this feeling was right and that it meant I liked him. But after writing a letter and being prepared to give it to him today, I didn't give it to him because I didn't feel for him that way today.

I don't understand how my feelings can change so much from day to day. I was so so sure yesterday that I wanted to go out with him, yet today I just don't feel it.

In myself I feel very self conscious and basically too fat to be loved, which is a contributing factor, I think.

So really I want to know if anyone is going through this or has gone through that and what you did.

And do you think I like him? I'm getting agitated because he deserves so much and I want to give him the world, yet I can't go for a date with him to set his hopes up and then it doesn't work out, can I?

): shookupsnowglobe x

[maniamsmart]

You're still young, and you still need to learn what you want in a person. I am not sure if you're bipolar, if it's a temporary infatuation that comes and goes, or if you're just scared in general. Whichever it may be, since both of you are still young, both of you shouldn't take this "could-be-relationship" so serious, and just go on a date and see how it goes. You won't be getting his hopes up by just going on a date with him and telling him that you want to see how things go and see if you two work out. I am sure he'll understand, since he was mature enough to discuss the other things that you had mentioned too.

Go ahead and ask him out, and see how it goes. Don't make any promises, but at least give him, and yourself a chance to be happy with each other.

[shookupsnowglobe]

You're still young, and you still need to learn what you want in a person. I am not sure if you're bipolar, if it's a temporary infatuation that comes and goes, or if you're just scared in general. Whichever it may be, since both of you are still young, both of you shouldn't take this "could-be-relationship" so serious, and just go on a date and see how it goes. You won't be getting his hopes up by just going on a date with him and telling him that you want to see how things go and see if you two work out. I am sure he'll understand, since he was mature enough to discuss the other things that you had mentioned too.

Go ahead and ask him out, and see how it goes. Don't make any promises, but at least give him, and yourself a chance to be happy with each other.

Thank you for the advice, you have made my night to know someone actually wants to help me out. Your words sound so clear to my messed up head and I think I'll take your advice. I'll let you know how it goes, well or not.

Thank you.

[maniamsmart]

Thank you for the advice, you have made my night to know someone actually wants to help me out. Your words sound so clear to my messed up head and I think I'll take your advice. I'll let you know how it goes, well or not.

Thank you.

No problem, always glad to help, I have lots of experience :) Good luck!

[shookupsnowglobe]

No problem, always glad to help, I have lots of experience :) Good luck!

I notice you have been banned, which is a shame because you may never see this, but I hope that you will.

Your reply spurred me on to send him a valentines explaining how I felt, and from then on we have been together, it is wonderful.

There aren't words to describe it, which leads me to think we have something incredibly special.

Thank you, I may not have taken the steps so soon, or at all, if it wasn't for you.

Best wishes for you future

[Tesserax]

What you're feeling is normal. In the past I have also been reluctant to ask people out, only I wasn't lucky enough to have people actually like me back.

However, now I'm more confident. But the thing to remember is that we tend to be confused about these things, how we actually feel.

What you're probably feeling is a deep anxiety about going into a relationship that stems from another factor that may be quite personal and hard to pin down, but that's getting complicated.

I would say go for it. A good relationship stems from a great friendship, knowing the person well and basically being their best friend. The relationship part is basically just social permission to kiss, hug, physically contact, and even have sex with somebody.

Essentially, you don't have to have a relationship if you don't want to. If you two become best friends, it's basically the same thing without the more sexual aspect.