No Desire for a Relationship...

[Moriya]

I have an extreme desire to flirt with people and engage in sexual activities (haven't yet but want to), but I have zero desire for relationship. I'm actually repelled by the idea of having a relationship. I want to know if any other girls on the forum feel the same (or a similar) way.

I feel like a freak...:(

[LITTLEANGEL19]

Sounds pretty normal to me, many people get a kick out of flirting but do not want to commit to a relationship.
So don't worry you sound perfectly normal to me. :) X

[Uniquemind]

I have an extreme desire to flirt with people and engage in sexual activities (haven't yet but want to), but I have zero desire for relationship. I'm actually repelled by the idea of having a relationship. I want to know if any other girls on the forum feel the same (or a similar) way.

I feel like a freak...:(

I don't think it's well advertised nor is it a majority of girls whom feel comfortable living the hedonistic-sexual lifestyle minus a relationship or personalized emotional bonds. I certainly think if the numbers who live this lifestyle are higher, that they stay in the dark because of "slut shaming".

But I think it's more common than what is stereotypically thought of as "girls want the emotional bonds and intimacy whereas boys want the physical pleasure and variation of physical sex with little care for the relationship".

[JessiF]

Sounds normal to me. A lot of us want no strings attached.

[Taryn98]

I'm basically the same way. I'm way too busy to have a relationship with school, work and sports, but I do enjoy my fun time. I think it's normal.

[Moriya]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who's like this :)

[caged_owl]

I guess I have been like that in the past, but but your view might change once a decent guy comes along

[Vanilla Cupcake]

Why don't you want a relationship.
Sorry I can't relate. I want a relationship, I love everything about relationships, sure there are some negatives, but the positives out weigh by far.

[Elysium]

Puberty for Girls :arrow: Relationships and Dating

[Moriya]

Why don't you want a relationship.
Sorry I can't relate. I want a relationship, I love everything about relationships, sure there are some negatives, but the positives out weigh by far.
(Sorry for late reply) I guess it's because I'm afraid of the possibility that I'll never be enough for them...:(

[Vanilla Cupcake]

(Sorry for late reply) I guess it's because I'm afraid of the possibility that I'll never be enough for them...:(

Oh no, please don't think that way about yourself. We all have our faults and no one is perfect, there is that one special person out there and he is going to love you to bits. He won't be perfect either as no one is.
You just have to Believe! :)

[Moriya]

Oh no, please don't think that way about yourself. We all have our faults and no one is perfect, there is that one special person out there and he is going to love you to bits. He won't be perfect either as no one is.
You just have to Believe! :)
Thank you, I needed that :D

[sabbi]

I have an extreme desire to flirt with people and engage in sexual activities (haven't yet but want to), but I have zero desire for relationship. I'm actually repelled by the idea of having a relationship. I want to know if any other girls on the forum feel the same (or a similar) way.

I feel like a freak...:(

Your quite normal as far as I'm concerned I also don't desire a serious relationship plenty of time for that ahead. I do like flirting but sometimes regret it as I may have sent out the wrong signals to the person that it's an invitation to go further

[LanaPole]

Theres nothing wrong with you. i dont mind a relationship but it must be a open relationship because i enjoy messing around with different people

[ClaraWho]

(Sorry for late reply) I guess it's because I'm afraid of the possibility that I'll never be enough for them...:(

So what you are really saying is you DO want a serious relationship?

From what you've said you aren't at all 'repulsed' by the idea of having a soulmate.

If insecurity is your reasoning for taking a highly risky and ultimately unfulfilling path, such as having fleeting hookups and casual sex, then I would strongly urge against it.

I'd also warn that the types of people that attitude will attract aren't all that decent or caring about your wellbeing (the type to say the 'right' thing to a dozen different girls at once).

It seems you are getting in your own way, your insecurities are stopping you from being happy.
1. Why is it you feel you won't be enough?
2. What happened in your life to make you feel this lack of self-worth?
3. Do you want to stop yourself being happy or put the effort in to delve deeper into your reasons, to change your life for the better?

I had a friend who dated a girl who cheated on him several times in a 6 month relationship, but he stayed because he felt nobody else would really want to be with him. He was massively wrong.

My point is there's nothing wrong with being single, there's a lot wrong with casual hookups and meaningless sex, and there's a lot wrong with keeping your self-worth so low.

If you explore the questions I posted in detail, write them down and try to answer them fully on paper, I think it would really help you.

Good luck,

~ Clara

[DoodleSnap]

So what you are really saying is you DO want a serious relationship?

From what you've said you aren't at all 'repulsed' by the idea of having a soulmate.

If insecurity is your reasoning for taking a highly risky and ultimately unfulfilling path, such as having fleeting hookups and casual sex, then I would strongly urge against it.

I'd also warn that the types of people that attitude will attract aren't all that decent or caring about your wellbeing (the type to say the 'right' thing to a dozen different girls at once).

It seems you are getting in your own way, your insecurities are stopping you from being happy.
1. Why is it you feel you won't be enough?
2. What happened in your life to make you feel this lack of self-worth?
3. Do you want to stop yourself being happy or put the effort in to delve deeper into your reasons, to change your life for the better?

I had a friend who dated a girl who cheated on him several times in a 6 month relationship, but he stayed because he felt nobody else would really want to be with him. He was massively wrong.

My point is there's nothing wrong with being single, there's a lot wrong with casual hookups and meaningless sex, and there's a lot wrong with keeping your self-worth so low.

If you explore the questions I posted in detail, write them down and try to answer them fully on paper, I think it would really help you.

Good luck,

~ Clara
You definitely need to think about this: it makes life very difficult for you if you make a decision without knowing what it is that you want.

[Abhorrence]

You're 14 years old, commitment isn't going to be something that comes to mind very often. You've got a long time for all of that - you don't need to think of it now.

[Uniquemind]

So what you are really saying is you DO want a serious relationship?

From what you've said you aren't at all 'repulsed' by the idea of having a soulmate.

If insecurity is your reasoning for taking a highly risky and ultimately unfulfilling path, such as having fleeting hookups and casual sex, then I would strongly urge against it.

I'd also warn that the types of people that attitude will attract aren't all that decent or caring about your wellbeing (the type to say the 'right' thing to a dozen different girls at once).

It seems you are getting in your own way, your insecurities are stopping you from being happy.
1. Why is it you feel you won't be enough?
2. What happened in your life to make you feel this lack of self-worth?
3. Do you want to stop yourself being happy or put the effort in to delve deeper into your reasons, to change your life for the better?

I had a friend who dated a girl who cheated on him several times in a 6 month relationship, but he stayed because he felt nobody else would really want to be with him. He was massively wrong.

My point is there's nothing wrong with being single, there's a lot wrong with casual hookups and meaningless sex, and there's a lot wrong with keeping your self-worth so low.

If you explore the questions I posted in detail, write them down and try to answer them fully on paper, I think it would really help you.

Good luck,

~ Clara


You hit the nail on the head with this piece of advice.

You're 14 years old, commitment isn't going to be something that comes to mind very often. You've got a long time for all of that - you don't need to think of it now.

Kinda agree, but then again, if you find the right partner who's to say a serious committed relationship isn't the way to go?

From what I observe by watching older teens and young adults, you basically can't do the "promiscuous, let's go clubbing" type of behavior we so often read, see in media, and is peer pressure pushed on us.


If you're a more private person perhaps a serious committed relationship is right for you, provided that you meet the right person.

[RJH98]

I have the same thing, except it's the other way around. I have engaged in sexual activities over the past couple months but haven't been in serious relationship. Now I just want a relationship with a girl and I don't really care that much about sex, although it is a nice benefit to say the least

[maritza]

i feel the same i want somebody to be with but im scared of a relationship

[Body odah Man]

Theres nothing wrong with you. i dont mind a relationship but it must be a open relationship because i enjoy messing around with different people

Aww how cute.

[SammiB]

Think lots of girls and guys are the same. I feel less people want relationships and more want friends with benefits.