A girl I like is asking who I like through text...?

[kittycat72]

I told her that I was having bad problems making up my mind to kind of delay the response, but she then asked who they (the 3 girls who I was confused about liking) were and I said that I didn't really want to say it because "some stones are better left un-turned" but she still wanted it and her texting seemed to get more serious. She after a while said that she'd stop if I asked her to, but she'd like to know who they were, and she also said that I'd have to trust her, just as if she gave me the person who she liked, she would have trust in me. I'm personally very confused if I should even go ahead and say that I like her, because she's a year (maybe two) younger than me (I'm pretty sure she likes me) not 100%) And also I know texting someone that you like her is a VERY BAD thing to do. A ex-girlfriend actually did it to me and it seemed to be fine. But I feel like I'd be happy going out with her, but the age gap is what I'm very distressed about. Any ideas?

PS: I'm very concerned also because I can't 100% make out if I really want to be with her or not, but I'm having problems really badly with that but ok, thank you for any help!

[Uniquemind]

So there are two or three issues here. Please clarify what these are.

1. You like 3 different girls but then aren't sure what attraction feels like emotionally?

2. You are trying to figure out how to deal with the girl that's asking who you like?

Explain number 1 more please, this is more important to understand than number two is, you need to know what YOU want in life before you can makes plan.

[kittycat72]

So there are two or three issues here. Please clarify what these are.

1. You like 3 different girls but then aren't sure what attraction feels like emotionally?

2. You are trying to figure out how to deal with the girl that's asking who you like?

Explain number 1 more please, this is more important to understand than number two is, you need to know what YOU want in life before you can makes plan.

OK, yeah sorry about that... I'm a little hectic right now.

1. Yeah pretty much. I have only had one previous girlfriend and the only reason I hooked up with her was because she was really only the other girl that I knew at the time who was interested in me.
I can pretty much knock off one of the 3 girls, but for the other two, its a girl in my grade BUT she has a boyfriend, or its a girl in a grade a couple bellow me BUT she's a bit younger than me. I'm having a difficult time to tell who I feel more emotionally attracted to, so I'm kinda going insane with that...

2. Yeah, I don't know whether I should just come out and say that I like her, but I'm not sure because that's sorta connected to #1.

Thanks for the response! I appreciate it!

[Uniquemind]

OK, yeah sorry about that... I'm a little hectic right now.

1. Yeah pretty much. I have only had one previous girlfriend and the only reason I hooked up with her was because she was really only the other girl that I knew at the time who was interested in me.
I can pretty much knock off one of the 3 girls, but for the other two, its a girl in my grade BUT she has a boyfriend, or its a girl in a grade a couple bellow me BUT she's a bit younger than me. I'm having a difficult time to tell who I feel more emotionally attracted to, so I'm kinda going insane with that...

2. Yeah, I don't know whether I should just come out and say that I like her, but I'm not sure because that's sorta connected to #1.

Thanks for the response! I appreciate it!

Well don't pursue anybody already with a partner regardless of your feelings and don't couple up with anybody just because their available to you, in those situations stay single.

Focus on getting to know the person and recognizing lust from hey I like being around this person because of their personality and ability to just relate to each other in conversation etc.


Who you can best bond with and feel comfortable with is a huge indicator between lust and attraction and love.

For some people love doesn't hit people right away either, and society and the media in general distort what love is anyway so I understand your confusion.

Best of luck to you, and remember be honest to yourself and to others and you'll do okay.

[AutumnWinds]

I told her that I was having bad problems making up my mind to kind of delay the response, but she then asked who they (the 3 girls who I was confused about liking) were and I said that I didn't really want to say it because "some stones are better left un-turned" but she still wanted it and her texting seemed to get more serious. She after a while said that she'd stop if I asked her to, but she'd like to know who they were, and she also said that I'd have to trust her, just as if she gave me the person who she liked, she would have trust in me. I'm personally very confused if I should even go ahead and say that I like her, because she's a year (maybe two) younger than me (I'm pretty sure she likes me) not 100%) And also I know texting someone that you like her is a VERY BAD thing to do. A ex-girlfriend actually did it to me and it seemed to be fine. But I feel like I'd be happy going out with her, but the age gap is what I'm very distressed about. Any ideas?

PS: I'm very concerned also because I can't 100% make out if I really want to be with her or not, but I'm having problems really badly with that but ok, thank you for any help!

for the record, there is nothing wrong with going on a few dates with someone to see if you think they make you happy.

i notice a lot of people feel like they have to know if the're ready to spend their life with someone before asking them out on a single date, and that couldn't be less true. as long as you're honest there is nothing wrong with dating someone you like to see if they might be someone you love.

as far as your question goes, maybe tell her that you will tel her one of the girls if she tells you who she likes? obviously, if she says you, you know which one ot tell her about. :) good luck!

[Uniquemind]

for the record, there is nothing wrong with going on a few dates with someone to see if you think they make you happy.

i notice a lot of people feel like they have to know if the're ready to spend their life with someone before asking them out on a single date, and that couldn't be less true. as long as you're honest there is nothing wrong with dating someone you like to see if they might be someone you love.

as far as your question goes, maybe tell her that you will tel her one of the girls if she tells you who she likes? obviously, if she says you, you know which one ot tell her about. :) good luck!

I agree with the first part of your advice but not the second.

She might not tell the truth in response either for her own reasons, perhaps she's probing him before she spills the beans.

Someone has to take control or the dominate side of these kinda of scenarios and it's best if done in a playful way rather than a serious way.

[AutumnWinds]

I agree with the first part of your advice but not the second.

She might not tell the truth in response either for her own reasons, perhaps she's probing him before she spills the beans.

Someone has to take control or the dominate side of these kinda of scenarios and it's best if done in a playful way rather than a serious way.


i think "you show me yours and i'll show you mine" is playful enough. also, i think if she's the kind of person who doesn't tell the truth, that raises a whole other question of if she is worth dating in the first place.

i'm a big fan of being playful, but letting people know that you're not the kind of person who minces words when it comes to your feelings. honesty is always the best answer, even if you're just honest about the fact that you don't want to answer.