ECSTASY
January 20th, 2016, 10:59 AM
(This actually relates to my topic in Teen sexuality and gender section)
Well , around 4 years ago , when I had no way except accepting myself as a gay , in a traditional country with no supportive people around me , I got depression.
I started self harming . but luckily I stopped all of them .
Killing my feelings toward the ones I have crush on has been a usual thing for me . I've had crush on some of the guys but I couldn't tell them . If I would , they would hate me , they would stay away from me.
I didn't want to get rejected by this traditional society .
After I started to feel better , I had been living and I had started to make a nice social life . But when I entered university , I've found some friends and I started to have a terrible crush on one of the guys who is somehow my close friends and knows EVERYTHING about me even the fact that I'm gay .
Whatever I do to kill my feelings is unsuccessful now . I keep thinking about him all day long and if I don't meet him or talk to him I get depressed .
Recently I feel like the old signs of depression is appearing . The sky is getting dark now and I've been in my room , laying on my bed and listening to doom metal since morning .
Recently , I can't control myself anymore and that is really annoying me .
I don't wanna get depressed for just a person but its happening and i don't know how can I help myself .
Maybe some advice to prevent depression is the most helpful thing right now.
I'd be glad if you guys help .
Well , around 4 years ago , when I had no way except accepting myself as a gay , in a traditional country with no supportive people around me , I got depression.
I started self harming . but luckily I stopped all of them .
Killing my feelings toward the ones I have crush on has been a usual thing for me . I've had crush on some of the guys but I couldn't tell them . If I would , they would hate me , they would stay away from me.
I didn't want to get rejected by this traditional society .
After I started to feel better , I had been living and I had started to make a nice social life . But when I entered university , I've found some friends and I started to have a terrible crush on one of the guys who is somehow my close friends and knows EVERYTHING about me even the fact that I'm gay .
Whatever I do to kill my feelings is unsuccessful now . I keep thinking about him all day long and if I don't meet him or talk to him I get depressed .
Recently I feel like the old signs of depression is appearing . The sky is getting dark now and I've been in my room , laying on my bed and listening to doom metal since morning .
Recently , I can't control myself anymore and that is really annoying me .
I don't wanna get depressed for just a person but its happening and i don't know how can I help myself .
Maybe some advice to prevent depression is the most helpful thing right now.
I'd be glad if you guys help .