Questioning

[Dalton_Holt]

So far, any romantic feelings I've ever had have been toward girls. I feel like I'm capable of being in a romantic relationship with a man, but I just have never met a guy who has the right personality. Or maybe I've just repressed it in fear of being "gay." I however, do not feel sexual attraction towards guys. I don't really care much for sex in the first place, but regardless I only seem to have sexual attraction towards girls. So I'm not asexual, but pretty close.

So I feel like I might be pansexual but dominantly heterosexual. To expand, if I were to meet a girl who fits my type and she turns out to be transgender(biological male) I wouldn't be turned off by it. I'd still pursue a relationship. Not sure if I'd actually have a sexual relationship with her though, if she were transsexual I wouldn't care but in this case it's just transgender. On the other hand, if I met a biological girl who I like and she tells me she identifies as a man, I still wouldn't care. But if she were to get a sex change, I'm not sure. But I also don't care if they are agender, bigender, gender neutral, whatever. So does that mean I'm technically, arguably, polysexual even if I'm only attracted to people who appear female?

And like I said, I feel I would be capable of being in a relationship with a biological male, whether he's cisgender, agender, whatever. I'm just not sure because I've never had real feelings for a guy. I've had times where there have been guys who made me question my sexuality, but I never had feelings for them. I don't know if I've just pushed back these feelings or if it just would take a guy to be really special for me to have feelings for them. So I don't really have a way to test this, not yet anyway.

I know this isn't really something I can ask advice on. If I can't figure myself out, how can a total stranger? Really I'm just venting publicly, but maybe you can answer the question at the end of the second paragraph. That would be interesting.

[Harrier]

I totally understand you questioning your sexuality but tbh it sounds like you have a pretty good grasp on what you do and don't want - like you're 98% there but the 2% confusion is tripping you up. Tbh I wonder if you're asking too many questions (if that's even possible) and you're making yourself confused. Do you think that may be the case? I can't really answer the question you wanted answered bc idk if I entirely know what polysexual means. But once again it sounds like you aren't attracted to a person who identifies as a male, so that's a good start. Furthermore some of the examples you gave like "a biological girl who identifies as a man but wants a sex change" is so rare! I mean it's entirely possible you'll live to be 100 and never meet a person like that. I bet even if you live in LA or NYC and become a sex therapist you'd only encounter like 100 people like that. So maybe why even consider that? I am a firm believer in questioning all your beliefs - sexual, religious, political, moral, etc but I also believe that even a confused person deep down inside knows what they want. Like you said, you couldn't be romantic with a man. I'm the same way. When I was 14, the first time I saw my new friend naked in the shower I was like "dude I'm straight as fuck, but he's hot" lol. As an athlete I've seen hundreds guy's naked and that was the first time I felt like that so for like 5 seconds I was like am I going gay lol. But I quickly realized like you I have no romantic feelings to guys. That guy is still my best friend. I still see him naked all the time. I still think his body is perfect (not his face bc I don't judge guys faces) but I wouldn't and couldn't be romantic with him in a million years. Not even if he had a sex change.