I want a girlfriend so freaking bad

[Thehrogger]

I'm 17 years old and I still haven't had a girlfriend. I've never been kissed or held a girl's hand. All my friends have girlfriends except me and I'm extremely jealous of them. Some girls have flirted with me in the past, I'm just not attracted to them. Plus my school is small (there are only 57 kids in my class). People tell me to wait until college, but I don't want to do that!! I really want a girlfriend as soon as possible. There aren't any clubs to join to meet girls outside of school, and I'm atheist so meeting girls at church is not an option. I'm getting depressed. I want a girl to cuddle with and a girl to talk to and do things with. Plus I really want sex (but only in a relationship). What can I do? I'm so upset.

[Luuc]

I really can understand you. I'm 16 now and I've never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl yet. I think, for me the problem is that I'm waaaaaay too shy. I just don't see any way to even manage to get a girl to really like me.
Currently I've got a girl who might actually like me, but I just don't have any idea to bring it further. I just hope it happens soon and that I'll be able to get her to like me more.

[StoppingTom]

It's really not what it's all cracked up to be. It's not just cuddling and holding hands and junk, you're making a committment to someone else and taking care of them and whatever problems they may have. It's like getting a dog just so you can pet it without thinking about caring for it, or having a kid just 'cause without thinking of the responsibilities you take on. (NOT COMPARING WOMEN TO DOGS OR SMALL CHILDREN DON'T KILL ME)

A relationship is work, my man. And kissing and stuff isn't all that great to begin with. It's having moments *like* kissing with someone you actually care about and like having in your life.

[Thehrogger]

[QUOTE=aEON;3297966]It's really not what it's all cracked up to be. A relationship is work, my man.

I know that, but I still want a girlfriend SO BAD and not having anyone is killing me. I want a girlfriend!!!!!!!!!

[StoppingTom]

It's really not what it's all cracked up to be. A relationship is work, my man.

I know that, but I still want a girlfriend SO BAD and not having anyone is killing me. I want a girlfriend!!!!!!!!!

What do you think you'll gain from it, that makes it such an important goal for you?

[Thehrogger]

I want to have a girl in my life. I want a girl that I can talk to, cuddle, hold hands with, and make out with. And I'm not going to lie, I want sex, too. Plus I feel really behind in life, since everyone else has been in a freaking relationship except me.

[StoppingTom]

So basically, you went "I know that!" to the point I was trying to make, and then completely disregarding the point.

I really don't think you're emotionally ready for a relationship because, I'll repeat, it is ****not**** just about physical contact.

[Thehrogger]

Well I want a girlfriend.

[Uniquemind]

Not ready, based on your responses you treating "getting into a relationship" as if it's a superficial fad, like the next collectible trading card game your missing out on that all your friends have.

Totally toxic mindset to have going into a relationship and WILL cause you to hurt some poor girl who might really like you in return until years later you never loved her, only wanted the physical touch of her.

Turn off this selfish part of yourself, it's ugly and it will not help you appear attractive.

[Vanilla Cupcake]

Can you go on a dating site? I don't know anything about them but there must be others your age also looking for someone.

[Uniquemind]

Can you go on a dating site? I don't know anything about them but there must be others your age also looking for someone.

For legal reasons there are no dating websites for us teens.

For safety reasons you have to be 18 or even 21 to have a dating website profile with a professional online dating service.

The closest thing we have is social media and Facebook, but if you watch the news those ways of finding romance is just as dangerous, and usually leads to unhealthy online only relationships unless you knew the person in real life already.

That's why I always support starting a flirtationship and relationship face to face, and then online becomes a communication tool, but not the main method of meeting new people.

[Thehrogger]

I'm trying to find someone I actually like so that I'll be dating for the "right " reasons, but I cannot find anyone. I'm tired of waiting and I just want to be in a relationship. How can I just get what I want? I'm freaking tired of people preaching to me.

[Vanilla Cupcake]

I met someone at the pool a week ago. Maybe you could try going there to meet girls?
What types of things interest you? Maybe start looking in those places?

[StoppingTom]

How can I just get what I want?

You, uh, start out by getting rid of this self-centered mindset. The world doesn't operate on your wants alone. You need to go out of your way to meet people, be considerate of their wants as well as yours, and if you're lucky you'll find someone whose wants align with yours.

[RSDYoungster]

Neediness never leads to anything, I thnk thats your probelm.

Be comfortable with who you are and your circumstances and your results with ten fold.

:)