How do you feel about multiple partners?

[Cadanance00]

My gf wants to be able to see her ex that she went out with for a long time when he comes home for breaks from college. She did over Christmas and it was not surprise or anything since I knew all about it. She says it's not like she sleeps around or anything but they went out for a long time and they're friends.

What do you think of that?

[swimjoey1]

I think it's ok, as long as they aren't sleeping around.

[SethfromMI]

well what do you mean by partners? did she have sex with her old boyfriend? a date? or just coffee completely innocent as friends?

at the end of the day, if you want a serious relationship, multiple partners usually is not a great idea

[Cadanance00]

well what do you mean by partners? did she have sex with her old boyfriend? a date? or just coffee completely innocent as friends?

at the end of the day, if you want a serious relationship, multiple partners usually is not a great idea

Yeh, by 'going out' I mean a sexual date. She slept with him once last year & lost her v to him. It wasn't a good experience for her and she wanted it to be better.

[Josh_Ry]

I think it's ok, as long as they aren't sleeping around.

I agree. But I'd be quite worry anyway!

[Melodic]

I personally wouldn't be able to be in an open relationship. I want my partner to be my only partner.

[Bull]

Not for me. I am a one partner kind of guy.

[Vanilla Cupcake]

Why would she have any interest in hanging out with an X? Sounds fishy to me!
I wouldn't like it.

[sabbi]

Absolutely no way I'd stand for my b/f seeing his ex under any circumstances.

[hesaidhesaid]

I am incredibly uncomfortable with this idea, to be honest. You are with someone and you are committed to that person. If you have a problem with commitment, you shouldn't have got into that fiasco in the first place.

[RiHouse]

I think if you tell the person you're in a relationship with that you want to do it, and they're okay with it, it should be fine.

[Fiction]

I tried a sort of open relationship a few months ago. I really liked my best friend and we where very much emotionally in a relationship, but I'd just come out of a long-term relationship and the idea of being completely tied down petrified me, so a sort of open relationship seemed like a good idea.

However when it came to it, it was a lot harder than I thought. I realised pretty quickly that I wanted my now boyfriend to be just mine, and when I did sleep with someone else, I felt incredibly guilty and the whole time the othe guy was at mine I just wanted to be talking to my boyfriend.

If you're both okay with it, then fine, but it really is a hard situation to be in.

[Cadanance00]

If you're both okay with it, then fine, but it really is a hard situation to be in.

That's the thing, I'm finding a little of a hard situation even tho I was sort of okay with it at the time and it only happened once. I think she has a different idea of a relationship than I do.

[Fiction]

That's the thing, I'm finding a little of a hard situation even tho I was sort of okay with it at the time and it only happened once. I think she has a different idea of a relationship than I do.

If you're not okay with it, then you should discuss it with her. You'll either be able to come to a compromise you're both happy with or you won't, and then it's perhaps time to accept that and part ways otherwise it's only going to be making you miserable.

[sqishy]

It is possible to be in multiple relationships at the same time, but only if everyone involved is honest and understanding with everyone else going on. It's more demanding than being in a single relationship.
I wish you the best with this (I don't have any experience with relationships, so yeah!).

[LanaPole]

Well, i think everyone have their own preferences. I prefer an open relationship but we must be honest with each other. i wont tolerate it if my bf is in love with someone else but it's ok if it's purely sexual. there must be only one lover.

[AutumnWinds]

That's the thing, I'm finding a little of a hard situation even tho I was sort of okay with it at the time and it only happened once. I think she has a different idea of a relationship than I do.

honestly, i think she is being very unfair to you, and that you deserve better. i'm sorry, hunni.

Well, i think everyone have their own preferences. I prefer an open relationship but we must be honest with each other. i wont tolerate it if my bf is in love with someone else but it's ok if it's purely sexual. there must be only one lover.

i don't think there is anything wrong with that, but i think it's something that;s best discussed early on, and probably best to avoid ex's altogether just to avoid the in love feelings you mentioned, and obviously his GF did neither.

[jsands]

I wouldn't be okay with "cheating" as i think its horrible, but openly discussing having non-romantic partners i think i would be fine with as long we had established proper rules beforehand.
I've never had multiple partners but if my gf would have asked if it was okay i probably would have agreed.

[CheshireCat]

The most important thing in an open relationship/polyamory situation is communication. If you've talked it out and are both completely okay with it, then have at it. However, if you're uncomfortable with anything going on it's important that you voice it and let your partner know. Keeping silent will only serve to build tensions and create upset.
I actually had a partner in the past who had told me that she wanted to have a more open relationship and be able to have multiple partners, but I wasn't okay with that and told her so. We ended things after that, but it was better to have everyone's feelings out on the table than to hold in what I was thinking to make my partner happy.

[maniamsmart]

Multiple partners? What is that supposed to mean?

Having ex's as friends? If it really is just friends, then sure, I am fine with that.

[Meamo]

As long as you trust her and they aren't fooling around then it's fine. In my opinion.

[DoodleSnap]

All the relationships I have ever been involved in have had some element of polyamory involved. It just takes a lot of strong-will and honesty.

[Uniquemind]

I originally voted the middle category "haven't but okay with it", but after the news about the Zika virus being able to be transmitted from men to healthy women via sexual intercourse and other forms of sexual contact I have to reverse my position on this topic.

New information will/can change my views on topics like these.

Apparently it's causing paralysis in some men too, it's bad virus.

Please see my thread discussing this zika virus topic in "relationships and dating, and perhaps it if gets moved to general hospital thread which I think it might".

[Hermes]

Whether you want a relationship to be exclusive is really between you and her. There is no fixed right or wrong, though in most of the western world you can only marry one person at a time.

As for how I personally feel if I was having some fun with a girl and she also wanted to have fun with someone else that would be fine - I can wear a condom etc. If on the other hand we were in a relationship I certainly wouldn't want her to consider herself to be in a relationship with someone else at the same time.

In your situation, with seeing her ex when he's around, I would feel like her ex was her first choice of partner and that I was only the substitute for when he wasn't around. For having sex for fun that isn't really a problem but you can't build a relationship upon that.