Dating and Intimacy

[SillyShyGuy]

I have been in only a few serious relationships and cannot tell when a girl is ready to take things to the next level when it comes to dating. For my first relationship she wanted to wait until marriage to mess around, the next one she asked me to do it after two dates, and the third was ready after 5 dates. How do you know if you are ready? When is a good time to do things with your significant other? Would you be more willing to do something small like a handjob or something serious like putting on a condom? How long should two people wait? How long have you waited?

Thanks.

[Vanilla Cupcake]

I haven't really had a real relationship yet, but I would guess that every girl is going to be different and your just going to have to try little things with her and see what she does.
I think some girls will do more and some will do less. Some will want to wait longer then others. Kinda like you have already experienced.

[StoppingTime]

It comes entirely down to communication. Intimacy, to me at least, shouldn't be set at X number of dates or something; it should be based on how the relationship is going, and each person feels about it, and things like that. So you can find out when your partner is ready by doing nothing more than asking them. I know that sounds like stupid advice, but my guess is you'll both be a lot more comfortable with the topic in general if you can establish a relationship in which you can openly talk about that kind of thing.

[tulolita2015]

Is better to wait to know each other a little bit. I think.

[Pert]

Everyone is different and you should be able to understand when she's ready. If you're in doubt, it's always better to wait...
I'd start with "small things" as you call them, like hugging, rubbing or dry humping, and look at her reactions.

[Bull]

Me, I am not going to have intercourse until I am ready to make a life commitment with another person. Not a religious thing, just me. I have done everything short of intercourse and loved every minute of it. I just have not felt I was ready to go all the way. I dated a girl for almost 10 months and she broke up with me because I would not go the distance with her. This is just me and in no way do I put anyone down for their sexual activity. Their choice. None of my business.

[redrider12]

I haven't really had a real relationship yet, but I would guess that every girl is going to be different and your just going to have to try little things with her and see what she does.
I think some girls will do more and some will do less. Some will want to wait longer then others. Kinda like you have already experienced.

Pretty spot-on. It varies with the girl. I agree with StoppingTime as well, in that you shouldn't just wait for an arbitrary time. Naturally, some relationships will progress faster than others due to personalities or the likes. In both of my relationships, it's been pretty obvious when the proper time to get more involved is. But absolutely, if you don't feel emotionally ready to ask her directly, you probably aren't ready. Think about it - if you all are nervous about even talking about sexual stuff, why would you consider actually doing it?